Category Archives: Cool Cold Reality

Where it is and what it came from. The end-all, be-all, and all-for-a-dollar.

I Have Confidence

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9:06PM, at the cigar store. Richard Lloyd, former Television guitarist as well as onetime guitarist for the Health and Happiness Show stopped by with Sheilah to complain about his DuPont lighter. I tried to help him, but thought it best if he used his celebrity and wrote to DuPont directly regarding his lighter problems. Sheilah does his dirty work as she said, and will likely be the one to write the email. I did get a chance to play his Gibson acoustic guitar which was quite nice.

The reason I am writing this right now is the fact that I will probably get home until later than my usual time. There is a cigar shop function at the Russian Tea Room, followed by cigars at a Cigar Bar, located right around the corner from the Russian Tea Room. I did my best to promote the dinner and cigar party after and hoped that was all that would be required of me.

But no, Calvin asked me and the Bradley if we were going to the cigar bar afterward. Both of us tried to beg off the situation but found ourselves cornered. Calvin who will be there of course, is also opening up the store tomorrow, and if he can do it, why can’t we? Well the fact that it’s 20 something degrees outside and I live on the mainland did not account for much. The Bradley lives in Queens and he’s off tomorrow so there is really no excuse for him, if there ever was.

The Bradley and I have been getting along fine. Fine enough that I bought him a chicken sandwich tonight. Right now the plan is to go, show up, not neccessarily checking our coats, do a walk around and head out once again. We’ll see how that goes. Ideally, I just want to go home and spend time with Bill. If it weren’t 20 degrees out I might feel differently, but it is and I don’t.

Writing this right now at work isn’t so bad. Less to do once I get home. It’s so damn cold out and it’s no fun. Right now, a DJ Mix from March 1987 by me is playing. I recorded the night I was DJing when Speed the Plough was playing and my brother Frank was in the band at the time. It’s not a bad mix. It starts off with Rise by Public Image Ltd, then goes to South Africa then to The Clash with Tymon Dogg playing Lose This Skin from Sandinista. I seem to remember Catherine Cloud being impressed with the mix.

It’s way better than anything Martini Basher might have in mind. In fact I think Martini Basher might be running for the position of Mayor of Bala Cynwyd. It makes sense doncha think? Now there is 40 minutes left to be here at the shop. Technically the doors are locked at 10:00 for the holidays and if I do everything correctly, and things go smoothly I am usually out by 10:10. But tonight with an appearance at the cigar bar that all falls by the wayside.

But look at this, I have written 529 words in less than a half hour. Ain’t that special? No writing tonight when I get home. One less key to type. 543 words, yay!

I Begged Her

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It’s been quite a tumultuous day. The lie that I sent out, the fabrication on my resume finally came back to me and I had to admit it. The former president of the last job sent in a glowing letter of recommendation but stated the discrepancy in the start date.

That is what came back to me. I can’t fault the former president for not lying on my behalf, he had too much at stake and I understand that 100%. The woman at the company I interviewed with got in touch with the recruiter who had gotten back to me.

I couldn’t lie. I did ask Bill what to do and he told me what I already knew. Tell the truth. I called up the recruiter and explained that I was tired of answering questions about the 9 months I worked at McMann and Tate and decided to omit it from the resume.

It wasn’t a malicious lie but I misrepresented myself and who would hire anyone who misrepresents themselves? The recruiter did offer some hope, thinking that now that I came clean maybe that would be alright, but the company more than likely had enough of my chicanery.

A little while later, the recruiter called and left a voice mail. The job offer was rescinded. I didn’t feel any relief now that the lie was dead. I felt bad for the recruiters who no doubt were looking forward to the commission they would have gotten for placing me at the new job.

I felt really bad when I thought of Bill and the photo he sent, him beaming and so happy that I landed this gig. I felt like a heel though, like I let a lot of people down. People that believe in me, who offered words of support and congratulations on Facebook.

But ultimately I let myself down. I am now resolved not to lie anymore on the resume. Next month, in the new year, a more honest resume will go out including the time spent at McMann and Tate.

Who cares if I have to answer questions about why I left a branding consultancy in Soho? An explanation is a small price to pay.

Bill once again comes through with flying colors, so supportive and understanding and once again stating that he has my back. He also has my heart but that goes unsaid.

Perhaps there will be a better job, some Monday through Friday job that will get me out of the retail grind of the cigar shop. And at least, I still have that. Just have to get through the month and into the new year. It can be done, I’ve done it before.

With all this going on, I do feel lucky. Lucky enough to have a good man by my side, family and friends that care and are always willing to help me up when I stumble.

I wanted to be out of the cigar shop by the holiday season, but here I am at the cigar shop in the holiday season. You know what? It’s not the end of the world. I will survive. What’s done is done. The past has passed. I’ve got to keep on keepin’ on.

Thank you.