Today. Absolute low regarding work. My attitude was better, not bitter. I realize that they simply want to get rid of me. The glocap.com posting was clear enough. Believe me, they don’t want me there anymore, than I want to be there. I’ve figured out that John McGruff has picked my brain regarding what I think a receptionist should make. I did apply to the job to let them know that I know what they’re doing.

Of course I did it all with a smirk on my face, which by the way can’t be transmitted through email. With the fact that Christina, who is generally a nice person, has received double what I’ve gotten for a bonus, it makes it all apparent that it’s definitely time for me to go.

If I get the position I interviewed for, I will have no problem. If I don’t, then I will have to remain in this particular circle of hell, or wait for them to offer me money to go. It’s rather surreal to find the job that you do being posted online. I don’t think they anticipated the fact that I was on the job search engine, the very same engine that they had posted.

Christina has no idea on what I do, yet she’ll be the one to do my job. She really doesn’t have much of a clue to anything really. Her grammar is atrocious, and her skills aren’t all that. I also heard that she really stresses out when I’m not in. She stressed out today.

I injured my back moving some boxes of copier paper. That combined with my increasing stress levels caused a lot of pain. “Hope” type of pain. So I left work early. I wasn’t offered a car service home, merely told to get better. I left the office and faced the bracing wind which was infinitely better and more welcoming that the atmosphere inside the office.

The shape my back is in now, I doubt if I’ll be able to make it to work tomorrow. So I have alternating moods. I get angry, I get hopeful. Not very easy to deal with. Right now, I’m ok. It was depressing. All this shit happening at the end of the year. Perhaps they’ll pay me to leave and offer me a severance package. That would be nice. I doubt it though.

I’m sure you’re tired of reading all about this shit drama. I know I’m tired of writing about it. I will be glad to have these tired ass fat and lazy butches, incompetent presidents, impotent managers all behind me. It can’t happen soon enough. I’ve fantasized about giving my two weeks notice. I used to fantasize about me and Colin Farrell, but now it’s come down to this.

They aren’t just jacking me around. They’re messing with the tech guys, and a few others in the office. Not a very pleasant scene, just my situation is the most blatant. There is my nuclear option that they have no idea about. An option that will catch them with their pants down, and with what could be egg on their face. Or maybe it’s merely post bukake.

Taking Bill’s advice into account. I’m buzzed, drunk and at his suggestion, writing. No inhibitions. The two of us just got back from Westwood NJ where my sister in law Karen had a party celebrating her 50th birthday. It turned out to be a lot of fun. There was some anxiety since it was my family, and Bill’s first appearance before them since the shit went down in August.

But of course there was no need for the anxiety. The other O’Toole’s, Brian and Frank had no place to say anything anyhow. It was a celebration of life. Very important since the last time a gathering of this many people was for a funeral or a wake. Those are no fun, whether or not it was an Irish wake or what have you. It’s a drag with a corpse around.

I took about 54 pictures. Well at least about 54 pictures were taken with my camera. Bill, saint that he is, had one beer. Designated driver, a title he wears proudly, allowed me to get pissed, in the British sense. It was a great night. Lot’s of laughs and smiles.

To this day, to my embarrassment, still have difficulty knowing which D’Alessandro woman is which. Laura, Jane, Mary all beautiful in their own way, and after 20 years I still need a name tag. With 3 O’Toole men and 1 O’Toole woman, they have the advantage. I can easily tell Bill from John D’Allesandro.

They are such a warm and welcoming family. Perhaps they are dysfunctional but not like the O’Tooles. We wear it on our sleeves. John O’Toole, aka Jackie and his wife Corinne made an appearance, though they chose to sit at a table away from me and Frank and his family.

Jackie is closer to my father’s generation than Frank, Annemarie and myself are. i.e. Jackie’s a republican. Brian follows that line also. So politics are something to be avoided. Jackie is the last remaining link to the O’Toole’s that we have. We don’t have any contact with our Uncle Bobby’s kids, or our Aunt Mary’s (the original Diddy) kids. Apparently Eddie Langton’s daughter is doing something interesting, but not interesting enough to remember right now.

Didn’t even know he had a daughter. I remember Eddie Langston being an old fart before he was even qualified for such a title. My mother’s side of the family was more easy going and closer in age than the O’Tooles were. Like I said, Jackie is it. The seeds of antagonism on the O’Tooles had taken root and will probably be insurmountable. The Powers, my mother’s family are closer and easily more communicative.

Regardless we gathered together to celebrate Karen’s having lived 50 years on the planet. A wonderful time. Even danced with Karen to Kool and the Gang’s ‘Celebration’. Sweet. Danced with her daughters, and danced with my nieces.

Hung out with Brian, hung out with Frank. All was good. Bill danced up a storm and won the heart of every woman on the dance floor. I love this guy so much.