And everybody’s got to live their life, and god knows I’ve got to live mine. A nearly perfect Saturday. Woke up in Bill’s arms, which is how I went to sleep. Great wonderfulness, gush gush. Walked to the bus with Bill this morning. Nice vibe, both ways.

Ran into Rand this morning with Bill. He and Lisa couldn’t make it to Charlie and Kathe’s holiday soiree tonight. I asked is everything was alright. No Christmas card from the two of them, no New Year’s Eve, and now no attending the usual last holiday party of the season. When a good friend starts behaving this way I tend to think they are becoming Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Rand, resolute Agnostic, I pray that this isn’t so.

Went into the city after a call from Annemarie, a touch of blue on Arcata. I was able to bring a smile to her face of sunshine. I wish her all the happiness in the world. Took the Path, looking natty in my Old Navy Pea Coat. So butch. With a skully, I’d definitely pull off the Terry Molloy/Longshoreman look.

When I got to the street at Christopher, I lit a cigar and completed the look with the perfect effect. The plan was to meet Bill and go to Farfetched to buy a gift for Charlie and Kathe. I walked across town on 14th street. I must have seen at least 10 other guys smoking cigars on the way. And not mamby pamby cigars. Butch like mine. I thought that was cool.

We met and walked into Farfetched and agreed on a lamp that looked Tiffany-esque and shaped like a guitar. Very cool looking and got a good price for it. We went to Virgin where I bought Charlie the new Mojo with an interview with his buddy Mark E. Smith in it. Also picked up a Katrina and The Waves cd/dvd combo. I needed Bill’s prodding to actually buy it. The rationale of I’d be thinking about it over and over was a good reason to buy it.

And now that I’ve uploaded it into my Itunes and Ipod, I’ll never play the cd again, though the DVD is cute. Much like how they were when they played Maxwells was back when. I remember getting into a fight with a triceratops that night. Horny fucker he was.

Came back home and took naps. Bill slept for a few hours, I only slept for one. Called for cabbage.


The driver was high on what I guessed was Non Drowsy Robitussin. Wide turns and slurred words was his game. We surprising made it to the party which was lower key than previous. Nice, but it wasn’t to last. More people soon arrived. We walked in with the fabulous Martha Griffin, a great friend from way back when.

She looked great as she always did. No wonder I had a crush on her back then. Nothing sexual, just a purely platonic love for her. I greatly admire her. My ex roommate William, B, Vaseles, Billy et al. was there and it was great to see him too. A great part of the time was spent in the computer room that we converted into a VIP lounge filled with the air of jazz cigarettes.

Once again, Dave McKenzie saved some turtles from death in Chinatown. 12 of them.

I should go to more parties, though I should be invited to more parties. After a few hours, William etc, drove Bill and myself home.

And here are some random pics.
JOZ and host, Charlie
Kathe, Hostess
Lovelies
B. former room mate and still a friend
Lovely Martha Griffin
Chaz Lampin’
Bill and Turtle
John O’Zed
Tree

New Years Eve. Still in Saigon. Shit. No wait, strike that. Hoboken. Home of the homos. More apt, I think. A horrid morning today. Not enough sleep. Bill’s new cellphone kept buzzing and beeping. Every time I’d start to drift off it would buzz and beep. Every single time.

And I’d get farther from the elusive goal of actual sleep. Initially I thought it was his new alarm clock, but it was the phone. I did get up at one point and put it in his nightstand drawer, but I could still hear it. Oh how I wanted to smash it to the floor. But I maintained, I took it out of the floor and put in on the couch two rooms away.

That worked. I couldn’t hear it. But the pier of sleep was so far away and I had a long way to swim. Eventually I did sleep. An hour or so later Bill started to stir. Not in that way. I tried that earlier and it simply wasn’t happening, which of course caused depressing thoughts in my frazzled head.

But as he says, he was that tired.

So when he started to stir and get his day started I grimaced under the covers. I was finally sleeping, not REM sleep, but a reasonable facsimile. But too wracked to stay in bed I had to tell him about his damned phone. Which wasn’t a good way to start the day for either of us.

He was a trouper. He apologized. It was anew phone, he didn’t know all the functions and he was sorry about being tired about that. Fine, I made my coffee, said my piece and went back to bed. He came back with the papers and bagels. Awfully kind thing to do to a shit heel like myself. I got back out of bed and thanked him.

He eventually went to the gym and I sat in the apartment filled with self loathing. And that’s how a part of the end of the day at the end of the year went for me. Self hatred. Oh it was bad. It was bleak. I suppose it’s better to end a year feeling that way than starting it, right?

I couldn’t bear to be in the apartment any longer. Dark thoughts, better to get out into the gray area of Hoboken, which is basically a gray New Years Eve.

So I went into the city. Thought about sex but that was depressing to think about. So I walked around Soho with a scowl. A scowl comes in handy because people really do get out of your way, especially on Canal Street. I really felt alone. No one around, no one to turn to. Sad huh?

And I felt like I was a piece of shit.

I went to Toys In Babeland and hung out with those classy women, lesbians. Went to Old Navy and bought a pea coat with the gift card that the great Julio gave me for my birthday way back when.

I started walking up to Farfetched. On the way I saw a woman with a scrunched up face, literally. It was sad. She must be a strong person to go through life like that I thought. My heart went out to her, and some pity, which she probably would’ve outright rejected. She didn’t need my pity. She didn’t need anything from me. I didn’t have my life anywhere near as bad as she had, and it didn’t mean shit.

As I walked up Lafayette to Farfetched I got a call from Annemarie. The roads from San Francisco to Arcata were closed due to mudslides that had a hella time getting back home. And after they got home, the next morning they had no heat or electricity due to the mudslides I guess. Everyone in Arcata was in the same dark cold boat. Suckez vous.

Despite all that we had a good talk, Earl got his Nirvana magazine, Rex got his Cultivate Peace T shirt. I felt good after talking to Annemarie, almost back to normal.

Went into Farfetched and chatted for a few with Lois and Jessica. Bought yet another gift for Bill. I know this will be used though. The words on it are his, the contents within will be mine. If it’s the thought that counts, I was half thinking.

Went to Virgin, giddy sales people. I was getting into it, after the phone call from sis and the Farf women. Relatively giddy. Had the Ipod and listened to Rufus which was also part of the malaise of the day. Juan and I watched a documentary on Rufus that just recently came out and we seem to both be affected by it. Me more so since I love Rufus, Juan could care less, but still…

Hopped on Path, first car first seat which I gave up to a family who wanted to see how a train snakes through the ground. They were thankful, I was courteous. See? I was getting some sort of vibe.

Came back to the apartment where Bill was cleaning. I apologized for the nth time for this morning, Bill was understanding. I think he was secretly glad I didn’t trash his phone.

Julio called from Copenhagen where somehow he was elected Mayor of Detroit. An inside joke. It basically means while it was 7:30 PM New Years Eve in Hoboken, it was 1:30 AM in Copenhagen and he was ROCKED. As in Detroit Rock City. If you have to explain it, it just ain’t funny. That’s why some jokes should remain inside.

Phone Call From Copenhagen

Stine said hello and also said yes to Julio’s marriage proposal. WOO HOO!

Bill and I made plans to go set some steaks at a restaurant and we did.
JOZ @ Arthurs
Bill @ Arthurs

We wandered around Hoboken, smoking cigars and talking.


Count the bats. Win a Prize.

And now I’m here writing this playing my Ipod while Bill watches TV a few feet from this keyboard.

Happy New Year.