Today made for my three month anniversary at McMann and Tate. It went well. Very interesting situation, very busy not put off by certain people and I kept getting job offers, or job postings from Lawrence, Virginia and Michelle’s company. Virginia has me set up for an interview tomorrow but I’m not so sure I could make it. It pays well but I don’t know if I can get out of the office in time to do it. I’m already thinking of excuses to get me out of that. Next week, I may have other interviews, but since I have notice of the possibilities I can get out of work when needed.

There of course is a twisted aspect to the whole thing. I’ve been getting along with some new employees and I think I may have hit my groove at work. It’s starting to be a walk in the park, but Bill reminded me about how I felt last Tuesday going to have dinner with Annemarie and Earl. Sometimes I hit the groove and everything goes well, and other times it is nothing but shit. The thing is I feel I will let them down if I leave, and these are the people who’ve told me to think about whether or not I want to continue working there only three weeks ago.

That is the actual event that started the new job search. I cast the fishing lines out and they seem to be biting right now, actually it’s more like they’re nibbling. On one hand I feel like I’m fitting in, and on the other hand I still feel like the rank outsider. It’s a strange position to be in. And with everything happening on the third month anniversary it truly makes for a strange brew.

Of course, nothing could happen at all. Yesterday I thought I’d be given a hero’s welcome at Michelle’s office, and I wasn’t (though that 10:30-6:30PM gig she told me about today was mighty sweet and tempting). This could all be me building this up in my head. It might just be a good day at the office. I think there is the other shoe waiting to be dropped. So much on my mind.

I’m glad Bill was here to talk me in off the ledge. I was a bit out of sorts, alone with my thoughts walking down to the World Trade Center Path train, listening to Talking Heads and smoking a Padron, it’s was all I could think of. I’m glad Bill was home tonight, not just for his support, but we are watching a documentary on the drug culture and music from the sixties and I’m pointing out who’s who. It’s an eye opener for Bill, learning about the sixties culture. Not that I experienced it first hand, just had easy access to the information, I experienced the sixties twenty years later, and in some ways I still am, but with a touch of punk sensibility and the whole DIY thing. Then again, Do It Yourself (DIY) is probably a hold over from the sixties. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

No really, it’s like 99 degrees and the surreal feel is like 105. Not a good day for anything except bemoaning the fact that it’s very hot out. A dense heat and the odd thing it’s not humid. That would make it worse. It’s a Monday and that means back to work. I didn’t realize what magical time I was living in while off from work and spending time with Annemarie and Earl, with Rex joining in the next day.

The magic time spell faded away when they flew off to California. I tried to hold up my end with Julio and Stine and we had a good time but there were those moments when I was in the water thinking about how much I wished Earl was there trying to trip me up and dunk me. I didn’t need his assistance on that thank you, I could trip myself up and I often do.

At one point, after a few beers, a jazz cigarette and cigars I was sitting under the umbrella, reading the New Yorker when all of a sudden I just had to close my eyes and put down the magazine. I sat there and went into a deep sleep for like a minute. When I came to, I was relatively refreshed and recharged. The drive back was loaded with traffic, but since I was playing DJ with the iPod I didn’t mind much.

I admit I was a bit raucous with the volume to Stine’s dismay and tried to keep things reasonable. I had to put up with Julio’s comments on whiners, Morrissey (yes he whines) and Rufus (no he doesn’t whine). Julio really knows what buttons to push to get to me and hits all the right buttons at the right time. He picked that up from me, no doubt.

Came home and made chicken sandwiches for Bill and myself. They were quite good. We settled in watching Deadwood, Entourage and the Louis CK show which I don’t remember the title of. Lucky Louie? Very good shows, all three. I think Bill has gotten into Deadwood, just in time with only a few episodes left. Went to bed soon after the insane war that Israel has against the Palestinians and now the Lebanese. They should chill out, like a wise man once said, or will say.

I woke up feeling ok, got my shit together and out the door, leaving Bill on the couch. He was staying home, no work for him. I hope that doesn’t interfere with him going to the beach this weekend. I had a good attitude at work, the magic spell from my sister’s visit continued in the form of memories. I was able to look at Felicia differently. Hard to describe, a feeling of knowing how she is. Linda came back from abroad and there was a nice note from Paula who replaced me last week, hoping that I had a good weekend.

The heat was oppressive enough to make you think the air conditioning wasn’t working. Lot’s of water consumed by myself and lots of water expelled though the skin amongst other parts of the body. Not that you needed to know that. Well, maybe some of you did.

Now I sit in the apartment, with Juan as we alternate D.J.ing songs from his iPod and from my iTunes library. He has tons of cool stuff, making my treasured classics sound torturous. I didn’t know Elvis Costello wrote power ballads. I like about 99% of the stuff Juan plays for me. He doesn’t play everything he owns. He tries to be discreet.

Happy Birthday Brian