Author Archives: johnozed

About johnozed

I'm 50+ years old, 210-ish#, 6'2", reddish blonde, blue eyes with glasses (and without) masculine, funny, relatively intelligent, enjoy the company of assorted friends and family especially sordid friends and family. I love music, reading, writing, conversing, laughing, going to films, shows, concerts and smoking cigars. And I also enjoy looking nice in a suit and tie. Looking more like Lewis Lapham than Tom Wolfe. I'm sure there is more, but we'll just have to find out when I write about it. In a lifetime relationship with partner Bill Vila.

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues

Today is Sunday which means yesterday was Saturday. I worked yesterday, today I have off. It’s been a productive day, cleaning the apartment, which Bill started yesterday. Perhaps if we both work in tandem we will have a really clean apartment. But for today we will settle for functional.

Work was long and slow yesterday and I did not want to go in. My resolve to get out of this retail circus remains strong. I waited for about 30 minutes in the cold for the 10:30 bus which did not arrive until 10:50.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to Chaz’ party that night. I wasn’t feeling on top of my game and I was staring down the barrel of a 10 hour shift. I texted Chaz letting him know I wasn’t sure and also texted Rand with the same message.

Bill was going to be driving a bus to Atlantic City and I also didn’t feel like going by myself. As things turned out, Atlantic City had a big snowstorm and so bus trips down there were canceled. So Bill stayed home and cleaned the apartment while I watched the clock move ever so slowly from 11:30 AM to 9:30 PM.

Somewhere in the middle of that I read online of the shooting of the congresswoman in Arizona, as well as the murder of a 9 year old girl, a federal judge and four other people. It was terribly sad and I didn’t know how bad it was since the cigar smokers in the man cave would rather watch college football on the TV than watch the events as they unfold.

Of course if they did watch the news, it would be the same regurgitated mess repeated over and over. It was reported that Rep. Giffords was shot in the head and had died, but then another report came online saying that she was not dead, just in intensive care.

And the latest is that she has been able to respond to simple questions from her doctors. It’s been a sad story all around, for the victims, their families and for the United States overall.

The work day continued on, working with Calvin and Sean. Sean helps me out a lot with sales, usually ringing things up on my register so that I get more of that 1/3 of 1% commission. But Calvin caught on and made sure than any 3 figure sales that Sean was about to complete were done on Calvin’s register. Calvin is the boss you see and doesn’t do much of anything for Sean except for threatening him, whereas I usually buy Sean food, like a burger or some pizza.

I do feel pity for Calvin, for here he is an assistant manager with a wife and kid to support and I really don’t mind him getting whatever commission happens. It would be nice if I got that 1/3 of 1%, but I’m not going to sweat it. And I’m sure Calvin gets more than 1/3 of 1% anyhow.

Calvin split at his appointed hour and it was Sean and myself for the remainder of the day, or by this time, night. Finally it was time to go.

Bill decided to go to the party and even rented a car so that we wouldn’t be at the mercy of a car service to bring us back to Hoboken. I got the latest Mojo & Uncut magazines for Chaz and gave him 2 passes for the American Museum of Natural History.

I met Bill after taking the Path train to Journal Square in Jersey City and we drove up to Chez Chaz. Most of the usual New Year’s crowd was there, Andy, Deborah and Rand & Lisa as well as a few other people that I see year to year but forget their names and too embarrassed to ask after all this time.

It was all rather adult, sitting there, chatting and having beers. Chaz made some excellent vegetarian chili which hit the spot after being outside waiting for Bill to arrive in the black Beetle he rented. Many laughs and stories as well as information about Representative Giffords.

We left around 12:30, giving Rand & Lisa a ride back to Hoboken. I came home to find Bill had done an awful lot of cleaning which impressed me enough to do my share this afternoon.

It’s been a good day, though I did watch a lot of news concerning Tucson, AZ.

Sad sad sad.

Christina Taylor Green 9/11/2001 - 1/8/2011

I Got Plenty O’ Nuttin’

It’s Friday for some, for most, for me it’s just another day. It was an alright day overall. I slept well and even though there was a snow storm outside, it didn’t really bother me too much. I took my time getting myself together, a slow easy breakfast, a nice hot shower, a few cups of coffee. I also watched both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report recorded from last night. Both were very good, very funny.

A walk to the bus stop, smoking a nice cigar. It found shelter from the snowfall underneath an awning, away from the other commuters. My bus pulled up and I got on, staring out the window as the snow fell. It was falling hard enough that I couldn’t see the Palisades or make out Troy Towers as we approached the Lincoln Tunnel.

It was the last I saw of the sky for a while since once I got into Manhattan it was off the bus, walk through the bus terminal, down the escalator to the subway and finally getting on a train that dropped me off by the cigar shop.

I was soon inside from the cigar shop after picking up the latest Mojo and Uncut magazines nearby. An annoying fact- in the UK, Uncut features Roxy Music on the cover. Here in the states, it’s the Allman Brothers. I would much rather look at Bryan Ferry, Brian Eno, Phil Manzanera and Andy Mackay rather than Gregg, Duane & Dickey and the other geezers. But Roxy is unknown mostly in the US, whereas a few dead guys from Macon GA are more recognizable.

The day went alright, Marcus in for half a day, Calvin and the not so brain dead Bradley for the rest of the day. Fred the other part timer came in later in the day. We got along fine, all of us. Many jokes made. Due to the snowstorm, the back room man cave filled up and filled with smoke. It was too crowded to sit back there and enjoy a cigar myself on my lunch hour so I opted out.

By the time it was my lunch it had stopped snowing so I went to a nearby diner and had a decent lunch. It was Friday after all. The afternoon didn’t move as fast as I would have liked but it wasn’t exactly crawling.

Not much was done in the sales department. Calvin left at his appointed hour and left the Bradley and Fred and myself to man the shop. It was going well between the three of us.

Around 8:15 a well-dressed customer came in and I complimented her on her tie. I then asked if there was anything I could do to help her and she mentioned she was interested in lighters. I got the keys and opened the showcase and showed her the lighters, expensive lighters.

But she was vague and said she wanted a thin lighter. So I show her the thin lighters and she’s hemming and hawing as if she was waiting for SAVAK to leave the rest room. I show her some newer lighters, still expensive and this disappoints the shopper, since none of the lighters I show her are gold.

With a heavy sigh she says she’ll take the black lighter. Then she wants to see some cigars so I show her into the humidor. She doesn’t know what she wants, something mild, something light, something expensive.

Nothing was good enough for her so with yet another sigh she eventually decides on 2 cigars which weren’t as expensive as she would have liked, but the really expensive cigar I did show her was too hard for her delicate fingers.

It wasn’t over yet, she wanted to see some expensive ashtrays so I show her what was expensive enough and I try to explain a certain ashtray, built for cigars with an adjustable sliding part for the cigar. Not good enough for this woman, so she decided the cigars and the lighter were enough.

As I ring up Sardar Biglari’s items, she asks if I ever worked retail before. I explained that I did, I worked for Farfetched downtown. She asks if it was a high end shop and I said no, it had the common touch. Then she goes I might want to work on my selling skills in a high end shop.

Then the daughter of a friend of the Shah, this former rug seller, turns on her heel and walks out the door leaving me in hysterics and giving the Bradley and Fred and I enough material to get through the rest of the hour with many jokes to be said about Miss Cardoor Hellolarry.

She proves, though you might have money, you will always be an asshole.




das Frau Sardinaaaarrrgh.