Author Archives: johnozed

About johnozed

I'm 50+ years old, 210-ish#, 6'2", reddish blonde, blue eyes with glasses (and without) masculine, funny, relatively intelligent, enjoy the company of assorted friends and family especially sordid friends and family. I love music, reading, writing, conversing, laughing, going to films, shows, concerts and smoking cigars. And I also enjoy looking nice in a suit and tie. Looking more like Lewis Lapham than Tom Wolfe. I'm sure there is more, but we'll just have to find out when I write about it. In a lifetime relationship with partner Bill Vila.

I Believe In Father Christmas

Just had a nap where I was in the southern part of Lodi, waiting to get a Frappuccino at Starbucks. A cover version of What’s My Name by the Clash played as I found myself trying to find where the Starbucks was that I left to escort a young woman from the coffee shop.

It was a rust belt version of Lodi, old machines decomposing in the deserted industrial areas. It should have been easy to find since it was across the street from Immaculate Conception high school. Inside it was dismal, with a few people milling about waiting for their beverages.

My server was actually someone who used to work at a pub in Saddle Brook called Gleason’s. I was doing some leaping and running as well as scaling down some iron walls designed like steppes while trying to get back to the Starbucks.

My knee was no trouble at all in the dream. Lots of running and jumping but still no Frappuccino.

I guess the Frappuccino was in my subconscious after getting an email from the corporation telling me I could get a free download of summer songs if I just go into the Starbucks. Although I wound up in Lodi in the dream I believe the Starbucks was actually in the vicinity of the cigar shack. There is no escaping the cigar shack.

A nap when the weather is close to 100 degrees outside is very nice. A fan blowing on my half dressed body as I lay on top of the bed was quite nice. I didn’t sleep too well last night and that helped with the nap. A Xanax that I took earlier in the day certainly helped quite a bit.

The Xanax came in handy when I made a phone call to someone. It was a day off and I tried calling them twice in the past week, left voice mails both time. This person usually calls me up and is generally upset that I never call.

Of course I never take into consideration that they have a phone that cannot dial out, they can only receive calls for some reason.

A few weeks previous this person contacted me about going to see a benefit show at Maxwells on June 29. I explained that it’s Bill’s birthday that day and depending on my work schedule I wasn’t sure at the time whether or not I would be able to make it.

It turns out that I was able to request that day and the next day off, not actually days off but when Calvin does the schedule I would like to be able to be off and make up those days off later in that week or around that time.

Well the person on the phone seemed harried as I walked around outside in the record high temperatures answering his questions concisely. He asked if I was upset about something, remarking that it sounded like I was angry with him. I explained that I wasn’t angry or upset, far from it, thanks to the Xanax.

Well it turns out that I wasn’t able to buy the tickets locally in Hoboken, that I would have to make the purchase online when I got home. That was no problem.

But what actually did upset me was the fact that me and the guy at the other end of the phone were once quite close and I do make an effort to rebuild what past we may have had, but sometimes it gets so hard to do so.

It’s not always like this but on occasion there is such a chemical reaction between the two of us that it almost always ends badly. And today was just like that.





Farewell to Harbor House, the Hoboken rehab center. Must've been some party...

I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Another hot day before the start of summer. Tomorrow I am off and the temperature expected is supposed to be around 94 degrees which is crazy. It’s been a somewhat busy day at the cigar shack.

Thomas opened up the store, Bradley was off today and probably still ill. I came in at 11:30 and was followed by a new part timer, Jerry Vale. Jerry came in a little before his appointed hour, 1:00 and immediately set about going to work.

He’s older than me by the way which makes him the oldest employee at the cigar shack. After Calvin, I’m the oldest serving employee, or rather the longest serving. He’s a nice guy, affable and of course nervous.

Nervousness when starting a new job is certainly understandable. Last year I had a near perfect meltdown when starting. My personality (or lack thereof) was so tied into what I was doing as an employee that after 11 months of unemployment I had no clue about who I was and what was expected of me.

Not that I have any clearer picture now, but I think I am closer to knowing something about myself. And that is I simply don’t like working retail. Still it’s preferable to driving a truck for US Beef, casually turning vegetables into vegans.

It’s almost summer in the city and the area where the cigar shack is has a declining population lately. The guys I work with are enjoying the scantily clad women walking by and I have to say the men walking by have been an eyeful as well.

And now I am home. It was a long-ish day, not necessarily long, but it felt that way. And getting home at the end of a long-ish wasn’t easy. Too many people, too hot, crowded buses. Really not my cup of tea.

Tired of writing, hitting that wall.

This time last year, I worked my first 11:30 to 9:30 shift. I had gotten tickets to see The Colbert Report taping but had to turn them down since I was working. When I requested the tickets I was out of work, but there I was, employed.

The night before, June 6, 2010 I saw Bill at The Theater for the New City in a play called Tiger Tiger where he played a super creepy father who molests his daughter. Really Ewww.

Bill went to the cast party and I came home and exchanged emails with a friend of a friend on Facebook who told me that I was more that my job. That’s something that I seem to always have difficulty remembering.

At the cigar shack last year, Harold the guy who I would be replacing in July was fired. The cigar shack received a letter a few weeks later after the firing while Harold was collecting unemployment benefits that Harold was working as a male escort or at the very least, showing off his muscles to be worshipped.

Calvin received the letter which directed him to Rent Boy, a website that has that type of stuff. Definitely not safe for work.

That’s it. I’m beat. Tomorrow is a day off.





Moon Hooch