Well it’s the first day of the New Year. It’s a Monday. Woke up at a decent hour, 10:00AM. Went out in the rain for bagels and the papers as well as eggs. Bill was sleeping in on the new sheets that he doesn’t think I noticed. I only noticed a few minutes ago actually. Bill went to sleep around 12:30 after we watched the fireworks from the bedroom window. I watched the New Years shows on TV afterwards, eventually going to sleep around 2:00, after two contrasting phone calls from Juan who was at a party in the city.

The first was a bit despairing, the second was more rambunctious, the life of the party as Juan is sometimes known as. For me, gone are the days of DJ’ing on New Years Eve. It was something to do but hanging out with Bill the past two New Years Eves have been quite nice.

I have some anxiety about tomorrow, this being my last day of free dumb. I had two weeks off and didn’t do much of anything which was fine but in hindsight I should have done something, anything. Then again, that is basically what I wanted to do, veg out, so I guess it was a success. Today was the perfect day for imitations of vegetation. Grey and rainy, almost Arcata like. I stayed in and watched the Monk marathon on cable.

Wouldn’t you know it though, that I’ve seen most of the episodes they’re showing today which takes a lot of fun out of a detective show. But it’s so well written and acted that it’s easy to forget who did it. It is a lot like watching any of the Law and Order shows with Bill. After the first five minutes, one of us usually says that we had seen it before, yet still we watch. Since Bill went to work today, I’ve just been avoiding the Law and Orders, preferring to watch Tony Shaloub instead. Beats the Gerald Ford funeral anyhow.

And there is the anxiety of tomorrow, worried about fitting in though I did feel comfortable when I interviewed there. It’s a smaller office, filled with humans, in midtown, an area I know really well. And I’ll be back in the suit and tie, which is something I’ve wanted for a long time. Anxiety lurks in the corners of my mind, fear of failing, yet almost like going to a new school in a new town, needing to start all over again. Bill was trying to reassure me, but now he’s working and I have my self-doubt to keep me company.

I guess everyone has anxiety about tomorrow, tomorrow in the abstract sense. I’ve been thinking about various jobs that I’ve had and the places I’ve work and the people I’ve worked with. I’ve made a lot of friends that I continue to be in contact with over the years. Some jobs ended, some jobs I quit and some jobs I was fired from. This is just another in a series I suppose, though it could turn into a nice long term job which would suit me just right. Wanker Banker turned out to be long term though personally it went terribly wrong at the end, I had to leave since nothing was being done about the situation I was in. Wound up at McMann & Dishrag which as we all know turned out to be a big mistake.

So here’s to hoping to a better job and better opportunities for the New Year, not just for me but for you too.