It is a damp Thursday afternoon, the last Thursday of May 2025. It seems I’m quite helpless today. Started around 2:31 last night when the clothes rack that I found on the street a couple weeks ago collapsed, waking up Bill and me, and of course, rather than leave the clothes lying all over the floor he did our best to clean them up and put them somewhere in the middle of the night.

And doing that, my sleep is disrupted, and I was having a good night’s sleep. I liken my sleep situation as having to go through one of many doors, each door leading to something, and one of those doors will lead me to sleep, and I frantically tried to open as many doors as I could but yet unable to sleep. And it seems that when I was able to sleep was only going to wake up minutes later to go to work, so there wasn’t much rest, and I was so very discombobulated.

Discombobulated it’s a word that doesn’t get used often enough, and if it is, perhaps it’s incorrect what it is used. Got to work early as I usually do, but my mind was so fried from the lack of sleep that I could not remember my password on the iMac that I use daily. I answered whatever password I thought was and got locked out.

First, I was locked out for 5 minutes, then 15 minutes, then an hour, then 3 hours. Of course me being me, I think I really fucked up and they’re going to be tired of me and the shit that I do or lack thereof. Of course, they told me that everybody loves me and they like the job that I’m doing which of course they would say rather than you keep fucking up and we are getting tired of your shit.

Yance was summoned to my office from the office where he is and said he wouldn’t be able to do it until early this afternoon. Much to my surprise, he showed up before noon and was able to set things up. Things still aren’t at 100%, but they might be getting there, as far as I hope. I have a good team that I work with, and maybe they’re picking up the slack that I am dropping because I can’t find things to do, but like I said, they might be picking up the slack.

Bill was supposed to be on the road for a charter for a few days, and that was canceled so he’s disappointed. I do love having him around, but when he’s not around, Mike does step up, and I think Mike might be disappointed as well.

Today, I am wandering around just north of the village, trying to figure out what to do and where to go.

The song Turning Japanese plays in my head. It is a song by a band called The Vapors, and the song is 45 years old, older than my coworkers, hahaha.

It is not raining right now as I sit on 5th Avenue outside 100 5th Avenue. Still, I feel obligated to go in as soon as I’m done with this mini-cigar that I am smoking.
It is just one of those days, and of course, I am paranoid.