35° on a Monday evening. It’s been quite a day. Had a dream last night or rather this morning that included a guy I hadn’t thought of in about 9 years and I never thought of him sexually but in the dream, it was quite sexual, and surprisingly he played the role of a top.

In the dream, I was quite forward when meeting him. He was not as tall as me in the dream or real life. In retrospect he may have been a mash-up between 2 men that I worked with, both from the financial worlds, Wanker Bankers or Putnam Lovell NBF or the Algerians from Alger Mgmt.

In any event, I did try to make this guy happy and he seemed indifferent. Then once again I found myself thinking of Bratty McGrotty and that spoiled whatever good feeling I might have had and flipped the script to depression and disdain. Yes, I am still reeling from my dismissal on November 4.

I really have to get over it. I discussed it with Bill and he was bothered by the fact that I never sent the email to the Department of Labor, OSHA, or Leticia James. It’s still in the outbox and could be sent at any time.

I did hear from a group that I had been in contact with for the past couple of weeks. They express interest, I reply in kind and then they say ‘Forget about it’ It’s a pas de deux we’ve been doing for a while now.

Well, today they said they were interested and it went further than it has gone before. And it all seems to be set up. I cannot say anything more about it not but you, dear reader of this here blog will eventually find out.

It may involve a lot of waiting around and I intended to buy a notebook to write notes in but did not when I had gone to the supermarket. So I found a blank book that I was given in 1981, 44 years ago. I just checked and the first entry was from the first night of driving across the country with Perry Dedovitch.

We stayed at a KOA but skipped out before paying. Not out of malice but more of not knowing what to do. I wrote about my dislike of corn since we had seen quite a lot of corn fields not knowing how many hundreds of miles we would be seeing.

My memory outside of my written word was hearing Billy Squire’s ‘The Stroke’. Since I have to get up crazy early tomorrow, that means I will be going to sleep crazy early tonight. The body clock gets thrown out the window. The things I do for a buck.

I am of course, anxious. It’s my first time and I want to get everything right. Bill has been down this road before and has been most helpful, guiding me through the signposts and also blocking my access to the ledge.