August | 2012 | johnozed

Not a good day at all. In fact it basically started last night. Bill was on his way home and I made plans to meet him at the Path train. I also had tentative plans to see a friend do an acoustic set here in Hoboken and when I asked another friend if they were going, they said no. So I didn’t feel like going by myself plus this friend told me that lately all these people doing short acoustic sets around town have been playing some really depressing songs. I didn’t want to hear that so I just killed time at home.

My niece and I texted about going down the shore today and her itinerary involved being on the beach between 9 and 10 this morning. That meant I would have to get up early, catch a train with a beach chair and an umbrella and be out in Bergen County by 7:30. I wasn’t into it and told her that it was too early for me, but to have a good time. With that being taken care of I put it out of my mind and practiced my guitar a bit before heading out to the Path station.

It was a beautiful night with a beautiful moon and I enjoyed a cigar taking some lunar snapshots as I walked towards the Path train. Of course I was early and sat on a bench by the station steps and just waited with a few other folk. A couple of trains deposited people and eventually Bill made his appearance. I walked over and gave him a kiss and a hug and we walked along River Street towards home. Bill was full of details about his trip. This cousin, that aunt, his uncle, their kid, which of course was to be expected.

And also every little detail about the flight, the seat he sat in as well as the train trip and the near dilemma he had with his ticket on his smartphone which was rapidly losing power. When I heard him about to go off on a tangent I did my best to steer the conversation back to where it should be going rather than a discussion on the most minute details. Of course I had things to say but I wasn’t going to have my chance to say them, at least not while walking down the street.

After all my day was almost comical with the key dilemma. I got my chance to tell Bill about my day as we were walking through the apartment door. The GOP convention was on and that was stressing me out somewhat and I was curious to find out what happened when Clint Eastwood took the podium. We came home and Willard Romney was making his speech with quite an unenthusiastic audience. I knew I could find the Eastwood story online so that was no big deal.

Bill had settled in as we watched and we were both glad it was over since we wanted to watch the 11:00 news. Then came the Facebook messages. A message about why wasn’t I going to the beach with my niece and her husband. My answer was not satisfactory and the pressure was on. I explained that it was too early and read that there was no such thing as being too early. At 11:45 I was too stressed and took a Xanax since I knew if I didn’t I would more than likely be dwelling on the fact that I wasn’t going down the shore even though I had reconciled myself to the fact that I wasn’t going hours earlier.

Bill went to bed and all I had was a bad feeling and the Xanax was not working fast enough. It did kick in and soon I was fast asleep in bed. I barely remember Bill saying goodbye as he went to work this morning and as bad as I felt last night, I felt even worse this morning. The depression has lasted all day. Not because I wasn’t going down the shore, but the undue pressure that was applied to me last night. I know they meant well, but I was resigned to the fact that I was not going and the attempt of being pressured into it was not helping.

Chaz came by once again this morning with a bagel and more photos to scan. I decided to put them under his Facebook page rather than mine since they are his pictures and I’m not in most of them. It was the smart thing to do. I can’t say I was good company though and Chaz headed out about 90 minutes later. I ate my bagel and headed out to go busking. And busking was a bust. I was not into it at all, not feeling very outgoing and more than likely scowling as I strummed. After about 45 minutes I was done and headed back home.

I didn’t want to have anything to do with people at all, and that included Facebook which I am not on today. No pics, no posts, no sharing of memes and photos and whatever. And now that I am done with this entry, I am done for the day. No plans until tomorrow and that is more than fine with me. The ringer on my phone is off so if anyone calls me, I won’t hear it. I just want to be left alone and have this day put to rest as soon as possible.

Yes indeed, this has been a strange day. It started out normally enough, waking up before the alarm clock. I slept fairly well despite Bill not being around. I was up and shuffling around doing my usual morning routine, shower, coffee & breakfast before heading out to deal with the world. A trip to CVS where I ran into Martin Kelly again. He was working and very funny as he usually is. Good to see him. Then it was off to the nearby supermarket and on the way I ran into Julio outside of his workplace. He was funny as well.

We texted each other last night and mentioned that Stine wants to have me over for dinner again. Julio of course joked that I eat all their food and drink all their wine. I remarked that I show up with a bottle of wine which Julio called rat poison. Still he drank the rat poison and it wasn’t so bad after all it seems. He went back to work and I ran in and out of the supermarket. No Isis to be seen. I haven’t seen her the past few times I’d been there so I guess she is on vacation.

More resumes sent out, revamped resumes. I decided to go with details rather than bullet points. I have a feeling that the detailed resume would go over better rather than the bullet points which require a quick scan before it goes into the circular file. Of course my detailed resume resembles something on par with James Joyce’s Ulysses. If there are no responses then perhaps I will hybridize the two and come up with something closely resembling a Brion Gysin cut up. If I put it to music it could sound like an outtake from David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs.

I decided to go busking this afternoon since I hadn’t since Tuesday. I was all set to go and had the guitar case and my shoulder bag as well as a bag of garbage. I eyed the keys hanging on the hook as I walked through the door and as soon as the door closed I realized I had locked myself out. I knocked on the neighbor’s door on the fifth floor, with the hope I can go through her window and into my apartment via the fire escape. But there was no one home. On the fourth floor I knocked again.

No one there either, nor on the third floor or the second floor and I knew no one was on the first floor. Apparently I am the only one home. I went outside and effectively locked myself out of my building. I texted Julio since I have a copy of his keys from the third floor apartment and he has a copy of ours. He knew he had a key but didn’t know where it was. He contacted Stine and instead of me standing around I started to walk to the waterfront to do my busking. I also tried calling Stine myself but there was no answer.

I walked past Tariq who was on his cellphone and set myself up about 20 yards away. I started tuning my guitar when my phone rang. It was Stine and I missed the call but got back to her right away. She was by Julio’s workplace and since I wasn’t around she was going to leave the keys with Julio. So I packed up and headed towards Julio’s place of work. Sure enough, there was Julio full of wisecracks about me getting old and forgetting my keys. We’ve been calling it ‘going Hawaii Five Oh’ since that will be my age soon enough.

I had the keys to the building and my apartment and climbed the stairs once more, putting away the guitar since it didn’t seem like busking would be part of my afternoon activities today. I did some practicing at home instead and dropped some change at my feet for effect.

Bill is back on the mainland, winding up at Dulles Airport and taking a train from Union Station to Penn Station. I was planning on seeing my friend Alice play tonight but I think I will stay in and wait for Bill to come home from his 24 hour journey.

And there is a chance I might go to the beach tomorrow. My niece Meghan and her husband Rob are going to Sandy Hook and I’ve been asked. They plan on going early and that’s fine by me. Meghan mentioned a while back that if they were going down the shore and if I wanted to go it would be easier for me to go out to them via public transportation rather than have them come to Hoboken. I don’t know if that’s the same plan. I would have a chair and a beach umbrella to bring with me and it could be cumbersome.

But it’s not that big a deal and I am sure I can make the most of it if I have to.

And now I have a key in my wallet.

This just in: there will be no beach for me tomorrow.