I am quite a lucky guy. So lucky. No sarcasm intended. Sincerity. I have a good man who loves me so much. Bill is my rock. As much as I bitch sometimes about him, he is there for me, supporting in me and believing in me.

He is so happy that I am employed again, thrilled that I am working at a cigar shop. I can depend on him for anything. True, sometimes in my petulant moments I whine about him driving me crazy but I take a step back and see how miserable my life would be if he wasn’t in it.

The people in my life, Annemarie, my brothers, my sisters in law, Julio, Roda, even Roda’s mother are happy that I’m working again and sometimes they’re thrilled that I am working again. I am happy to be working again.

Sometimes.

The times that I’m not are when I am not at the job. I like the people I work with. It’s going to and coming from the job, where I find myself looking back at my life is when I wind up taking big gulps from the well of despair.

And it’s not my life per se, it’s the jobs that I had. Working at Wanker Banker, and Bio-ID. I left the Wankers at the right time inadvertently and Bio-ID collapsed from the economic climate and the lawsuit following the dismissal of a managing partner.

I know I’m not alone in this situation. Thousands, millions of other people are out of work.

I have a job and like I said when I am there I am fine. I am busy or trying to be busy. I like my co-workers and they seem to like me. The customers like me as well. I’ve been introduced to dozens and almost immediately have forgotten most of their names.

I have a lot to learn besides names though. I have to push the product and be very knowledgeable about the cigars. Try to form relationships with new customers and steer them to the brand of the store. It’s a good brand, internationally known.

And there are many cigars with the brand name on it, from mild to medium to full bodied. I have to know what they taste like, whether it has a spicy flavor, a creamy taste, things like that. Calvin, the assistant manager has been showing me these things but I am a bit overwhelmed.

At some points during the day he asks me what do I know so far and I generally draw a blank. Yesterday being my first day I didn’t know much but did my best. I was given a DVD about the founder of the company and had to watch it last night.

Now I have other homework to do, which is visit the company website and learn some more. Unfortunately I am toast right now. And I was toast when Calvin decided to see what I knew with regards to the brand’s cigars.

I drew a blank despite taking notes about what he was talking about earlier in the day and even read those notes eating a sandwich on a park bench at lunchtime. I was good with the customers, steered them to the brand, encouraged them to give it a try as I chatted with them in the humidor.

But at 6:30 when Calvin asked I came up short.

I also took the smart move and brought my suit and shirt and tie in a garment bag and changed when I got to the shop. I could have dressed better but chose black jeans and a dark shirt for some reason.

But I got through day 2 and will return for more. And I love my family and I love my friends and I love Bill Vila so much.