Monthly Archives: November 2009

Back Door Man

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Well it’s been yet another odd day in the course of a weird week. Let me also start off by saying that I was upset yesterday and decided to post directly to the people that comment frequently, namely Annemarie and Harpy.

It left me with a strange feeling, enough so that I relented and posted on the blog today, what was written yesterday. I’m feeling slightly better today despite somethings that have happened in the last couple of days.

It all started Tuesday night. Around the close of the business day for those that are still engaged in business, I saw an ad on Craigslist and sent my resume to the email address posted. I didn’t expect to hear anything until the next day, but to my surprise, I got a call back within minutes.

Cathy Cline was her name and she told me that she had received a job posting that I would be perfect for, and could I come in to see her the next day, Wednesday? She mentioned that timing was everything and I chose the 9:30 appointment in the morning.

I got there, right on time, filled out paperwork that I was told I would not have to fill out since I filled it out online. I meet with Cathy Cline who mentions that she’s worked with Teresa Scalisi & Janelle Rintrona, both former Wanker Banker employees.

It seemed like I was in good company. Cathy Cline had some requests, to revamp my resume, using bullet points. She gave me a memo with the company’s name on it, Selective Equity. Selective Equity is located at Great Jones Alley by Lafayette Street. I could definitely work there.

I called Bill afterward and asked if he could help with the revamping. He started doing it when he got the chance and I continued working on it when I got home. Emails between Bill and myself and Cathy Cline went on for an hour or so before we agreed on a bullet point resume.

All I had to do was wait. The day progressed into the evening, no problems. I had a good feeling about Selective Equity and hoped for the best. The next morning I was in the shower.

I heard the phone ring but couldn’t get to it. When I dried myself off I checked the phone. It was Cathy Cline asking me to call back. It’s all in the timing. Cathy Cline seemed pretty happy.

I called her back. She told me that the company, Selective Equity liked my resume and wanted to see me either that day or today, Friday. Timing being everything, I said today, meaning yesterday.

I was excited and started to think about what I was going to wear when the phone rang again a few minutes later. It was Cathy Cline. This time she didn’t sound so happy. She tells me that Selective Equity changed their minds, something about tossing out all the resumes and going to start all over again.

It seemed that Selective Equity was revamping their job posting. That was crushing. And from that point I drifted into despair. And while despairing, I decided to not post last night. I was that unhappy.

The day went on and it dragged for me. As I shuffled about here and there both inside the apartment and outside in Hoboken, a dark cloud hovered over me. I did whatever it was that I did yesterday when I finally had an idea.

I decided to call Selective Equity directly. Their website was quite lame, just a pitiful logo with no information available but I did have their phone number from the memo.

It was around 5:00 when I called and spoke to the receptionist. I mentioned that I had applied for a job and was told that Selective Equity had decided to do the job search a different way and threw out the resumes they had gathered.

The receptionist didn’t know anything about it and asked how I knew about the job, what company did I sign with? I told her I was reluctant to say the company’s name. She asked the counselor’s name and once again I was reluctant. She asked my name and I said, John.

Then she put me on hold and I thought to myself, ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ and hung up. I had a feeling I had gone too far. I did my best to put it out of my mind.

No harm, no foul, right?

Watched the usual Thursday night comedies, couldn’t get into them. My phone call lurked in the back of my mind. Bill came home but I didn’t say anything about it. We watched Jurassic Park, which I rented from the library.

I had seen it a few times, and I still really enjoy it. Bill had never seen it so we watched it. I was still enjoying the intensity of the whole thing. Spielberg, if anything truly can do suspense really well.

Bill went to bed afterward, I stayed awake watching TV. The day started as usual, Bill kissing me goodbye, me getting out of bed some time later.

Once again, I showered and once again the phone rang. Once again I checked the voice mail. Once again, Cathy Cline. Not so happy. I called Bill.

Now here is the basic difference between Bill and myself. I’m hesitant to call Cathy Cline back, and I explain what I had done the day before. Bill says I should call, that she might have a different position for me.

For Bill the glass is half full. For me, the glass is being held by Hiram Monserratte and he’s coming towards my face.

I thought the best possible thing I could do is deny, deny, deny. I get off the phone with Bill and call Cathy Cline. Oh how Cathy Cline was upset with me.

How could I betray her like that? She trusted in me, giving me the name of the company, since I knew Teresa Scalisi and Janelle Rintrona that I must be alright. This is why companies hire recruiters so they don’t have to deal with applicants like myself.

I explained that I was desperate and just wanted to find out about the job. She didn’t need to hear that, telling me that she knows how hard it is out there. Only a few jobs and way too many applicants. Her own son is unemployed so she knows all about that.

Oh she was disappointed with me and basically left me feeling that she would not doing anything else for me. Oh, and she wished that I would have a good weekend.

I actually felt a little better once I knew where I stood. The day wasn’t as heavy as it was yesterday. I went out, walked around. Enjoyed the sunshine. Texted a lot with Rand and when I got home sent out more resumes.

Hopefully Cathy Cline won’t blacklist me, sending my name out to other staffing agencies and letting them know of the egregious sin that I performed.

If she did, well the news hasn’t reached Jersey City, where I have a job interview set up for Monday morning for yet another agency.

Nothing is guaranteed, they’re just going to meet me and see what skills I have.

I will be there at 10:59.

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I’m going to do something different. I could be doing it for a day or two or I could very well continue doing it forever. There is no end date in sight you see. Once again, I’m tired. Not of writing. Unfortunately it’s one of the few things I do well.

Other things I do well is self censorship. Keeping my true thoughts and feelings hidden. So I might not be doing that. No, for now, for today, I am only writing this for 2 people, Annemarie & Harpy.

They can do what they want with this. Delete it, spam it, or even repost it somewhere else. It’s up to them. I don’t really care. Just writing at least 500 words to keep up my end of the bargain. I’ve written 1,463 entries since October 2005. All with the promise to myself that I will write at least 500 words.

I’m not breaking that promise.

Harpy, one of the recipients might have a clue as to why I’m not posting anymore. That is, I told him last night why I was thinking about not posting anymore. Whether or not he remembers, is not my concern.

I’m feeling despondent today. Professionally and creatively. Professionally you will understand with me being unemployed. Creatively stems from what I wrote the other day.

Thinking I might get some words of encouragement and support from the 5 subscribers (who never, ever comment and probably do not read those things that I posted), or from people who have told me they read what I write every day.

That would include some family members, mainly my brother Brian and his wife Karen. I understand they have their own dramas going on, dramas that are probably more important than me feeling sorry for myself. My brother Frank did call, surprising me and telling me that he had read the previous entry, but not in so many words.

And it’s obvious that without the support and encouragement that I actually hoped for, I was able to do whatever it was I had to do. Which was to go on a interview.

The interview went well. I was comfortable but that could be from the Xanax that I took yesterday morning.

I’m sure Bill doesn’t read this forsaken blog, but he is supportive in real life. He helped me out yesterday, revamping the resume, and editing things down. I had a really good feeling about this job, despite my trepidation.

After a few edits working with Bill and the counselor I met with I hoped for the best. That was probably a mistake, getting my hopes up.

This morning while taking a shower, I heard my cellphone ring. After I dried myself off I checked the message. It was the counselor asking me to call her back which I did immediately.

She said the company had my resume and would I be available to meet with them either today or tomorrow. I said today since I had such a good feeling about it.

I did not expect a call back about 5 minutes later, the counselor saying that the company has decided to forgo the whole process that was set up and they were not seeing anyone after all.

So it’s been one of those days.

But it was also one of those days that I actually used common sense and didn’t do something that I was going to do. It might have actually made me feel better but ultimately it was foolish.

So I stayed home.