It’s Wednesday and it’s usually the day that is the hump, but for me, it feels like I’ve been humped. And it’s not a good feeling. I suppose it all started last night, coming home after 3 Heinekens with well dressed suit and tie wearing gay men in a lounge in Chelsea. These guys were nice, no funny business or groping, just a social thing. They looked good and they in turn told me that I looked good. Yes, those compliments carried me home. Karma paid off in the way that the train appeared at the station soon after I showed up on the platform and there was a bus waiting for me at the bus terminal.

I came home to find Bill who was close to flat lining a zombie sitting in front of the TV. He had tried to sleep and got an hour or two but woke up and couldn’t get back. Now, I was buzzed when I came home and Bill remarked how good I looked. I replied, ‘I know. I’ve been hearing it all night.’ Then I proceeded to tell him about what I had done and where I had been and I wasn’t rubbing it in his face, but I have a sneaky suspicion that he took it as that. I tried to make things better by telling him that the underwear I washed for him was on the keyboards.

Being a zombie, he grunted and kissed me good night before shuffling off to bed again. I sat and wrote. Didn’t really think about how he might have taken my going out and having a good time. He does his thing and I do mine. I’m sure he envisioned the bacchanal that used to happen at the men in suits parties we used to attend and where we had met. It wasn’t. Everyone kept their clothes on and their members tucked away. I didn’t see any erections and I wasn’t looking for them either. Soon enough, I too went to sleep.

Woke up ok this morning, Bill was off and running and I did my shower and breakfast routine reveling in the glamor of it all. I finished up and started walking to the bus stop. The bus pulled up when I was across the street from the stop but couldn’t cross in time due to the unusual amount of traffic on the street. It was unusual since there is hardly any at 7:30 in the morning. The bus pulled away and I waited for the next one due a few minutes later.

I got to the office on time and started things up. Since there’s a new program on all the computers things are a bit askew. I’m supposed to know when people come in for an interview but I haven’t lately. That’s generally ok except for one applicant. She comes in and I give her the rundown, sign in here, fill out these forms, here’s where you can hang up your coat etc. She goes, Oh I’ll keep it on, I have so many things in my pockets. Whatevs.

I give her the paperwork when she goes, ‘Oh I just hate filling out forms, don’t you?’ ‘Uh, no. It doesn’t bother me.’ ‘You don’t have to be so rude.’ Rude? I said this at 3:00, I was tired, not rude. I said it in such a lackadaisical way too. I figure this chick is a nut job. I excuse myself and tell the guy she’s supposed to meet that this one is crazy. It’s one of my jobs to suss people out and this one was in the red. He met with her and after she left he goes, she was nice. Another counselor mentioned that the nut job must have been ok, she smiled at the counselor.

Oh, ok. It must be me then. I know it wasn’t me. They will send this nut out on an interview and she’ll be rude to the next receptionist. I have to get out of this place. I think Annemarie was right. Once again.