Sunday. A very lazy day. Last night I programmed 4 talking gnomes on sale at Farfetched. They are about 5 inch dolls and you press the foot and record something then you press the chest and what you’ve just recorded plays back at a fast, Chipmunks like sound. I recorded on all four gnomes variations of ‘I’m Going to Kill you Harpy’ and ‘Die Harpy Die’ since Harpy was going to be working at the store alone. I wasn’t sure whether or not he would notice and thought I would have to call before the store opened to tell him to check them.

I did it last night before the store closed and a customer did press on the chest of the gnome and heard, ‘Harpy, I’m going to kill you and chop you up into little pieces’. The customer was surprised and a little put off and I had to reassure you that unless her name was Harpy she would have nothing to worry about if any gnomes were saying things like that. I don’t know if she got the joke since she left soon after. Jessica laughed through her scarf though. I didn’t have any need to call since Harpy did call me up laughing about the whole thing.

He told me he leaves messages for Susan and Lois but they generally go unheard. It’s their store and there’s no time for fun and games like that which is totally understandable. But Harpy laughed and I know I did good. I wound up walking to 33rd Street last night, smoking my Padron. I could have caught the Path train at 14th street but decided I wanted a seat and felt the main terminal would guarantee that. Plus it was a nice evening to stroll around and smoke a cigar. I read the New Yorker and was back in Hoboken soon enough. Bill was home already watching TV, what it was I don’t remember.

We did watch a documentary on the History Channel about Caligula. Basically it was all stuff I knew from watching and reading I, Claudius though I did forget that Caligula was dead by 28. Nasty guy. Nasty enough that Claudius who succeeded Caligula as Emperor had all statues of Caligula destroyed. I suppose it’s a testament to John Hurt’s acting that every time I think of Caligula I think of his performance from the mini series. Same goes for Claudius as portrayed by Derek Jacobi.

Tonight Juan is expected over, and I plan on watching Rome which is the early story of Augustus Caesar. I, Claudius takes place at the later years of Augustus’ life. During Rome he is still known as Octavian and Mark Antony is still alive. I’ve finally gotten into the show, which has been called by the critics as ‘I,Claudius for people who like the Sopranos’. Which definitely makes sense, bigger budget for sets and special effects, but lacks the gravitas of I, Claudius but still it’s better than a lot of other stuff out there right now.

Andy Rooney just recommended starting the draft again.

Well today is Saturday which makes sense since yesterday was Friday. Didn’t do much last night, hung out with Juan, had a few pints, got a little jazzy. We watched Tales From the City on Logo. Juan didn’t know anything about it so I had to give him a little bit of background. I think he liked it. There really wasn’t much of anything on TV. Don’t get me wrong it was good on Logo but it was great when it was originally broadcast on PBS in the nineties. It was uncensored. Everything on Logo is censored for language and ahem, sexual situations.

Juan left after we watched Bill Maher. It was a good show but Bill Maher could be tiresome sometimes. Juan hit the nail on the head comparing Bill Maher to Ann Coulter. They are good friends and may have had a relationship a while ago. My friend Rita saw Bill Maher at Caroline’s Comedy Club in Manhattan and said that he was all smarmy showbiz and not in a good way. Juan left at midnight just as my eyelids were too heavy to keep open. So enough I was asleep in bed listening to Bill sawing wood.

I got up at 7:00 for some strange reason. Actually I just couldn’t sleep anymore. I was working at Farfetched today, They must have been in trouble since Lois and Sharon were sick and I’m usually the last one they call. Not out of any spite, just that they have workers like Jessica and Harpy. Jessica works Saturdays and Harpy works Sundays so I guess Harpy needed a day off. I didn’t mind. I enjoy working there and helping out. It’s a real social situation where I get to be the DJ though I prefer Selecter. Jessica had a cold sore and kept a scarf over her mouth most of the day.

Jessica at some point came up with the idea that Bill and I should adopt her so that we would have a biracial daughter. That would be something. It would also give Juan an older sister. I told her I’d think about it. She also wants to learn how to skateboard and asked me if I knew how. I told her I used to skateboard and that if she got a skateboard I would show her how to do it. Though it’s has been over thirty years since I had last done it, but I think it might be like riding a bike. All you need is balance and some coordination, which oddly enough I have.

According to Susan at Farfetched, I am the only person the Jessica lights up around. She doesn’t really communicate with anyone but me. It’s a nice position to be in, to be the only person she can relax around. I don’t know why I’m that guy but I’m happy to be able to do that for her. She was nice enough to buy me an ice cream after we closed the store and I walked her to her train then I walked around, smoked a Padron and headed back to Hoboken on the Path train.