Tag Archives: Nail Biting

I Love Your Smile

It’s a Monday. I hope you all had a good Sunday. Mine was alright, nothing too special. Just another day, yet a day when I went to town on my fingernails. I’ve had a nail biting habit for most of my life and finally got it under control until yesterday. Fingernails in mouth. I didn’t bite my fingernails but I did clip them pretty low. I don’t know why, a nervous habit perhaps. Luckily I still had some Mavala, a nail polish that is designed to stop one from biting their nails. It’s a bad habit and once I got home I was able to apply it to my fingers.

It’s a nasty habit and I’m hopeful it’s behind me once again. Perhaps it was spurred on from playting the guitar and needing to trim my nails. I usually have a nail file or a clipper nearby but still there are moments when it wasn’t enough. I wish I knew why I felt the way I did so I could avoid situations like that. But I don’t and they’re growing back as they should. I always felt there should be a support group for nail biters, a Nail Biters Anonymous perhaps.

A group of people sitting on chairs in a circle or however those anonymous groups do their meetings. “Hello my name is mumble mumble” “What? Speak up. We can’t understand you. Take your fingers from your mouth!” That’s as far as I have gotten in my plan for a support group for nail biters. A good routine maybe for somewhere down the line.

I walked around the waterfront again, strolling the promenade. Dark clouds seemed to follow my every step but I had hope that they would roll on by. I sat under a tree on a bench and read some more from the Love & Rockets collection, The Education of Hopey Glass. It wasn’t all about Hopey and it was once again stories I had read years ago. I read about Ray Dominguez and his regret for splitting up with Maggie Chascarillio, the mechanic. It’s bittersweet, how romances fade all set with a punk rock and comic books backdrop.

As I sat and read I looked out on the Hudson River and saw a rain storm, a wall of rain steadily approaching. It came and since I was under a tree I kept relatively dry. I knew it wasn’t going to last, staying dry, so I got out my umbrella and put my books away and stood there for about 20 minutes waiting for the heavy downpour to let up somewhat. I was hungry and determined to get a slice of pizza so I walked over to the boulevard and stood in a bus shelter for the rain to stop.

It did and I was able to get my slice and bring it home without getting wet. And that was it for yesterday, just watched TV after that and went to bed a little after Bill turned in. This morning was a beautiful morning and I did some grocery shopping. Then I was back on the waterfront, strumming my guitar. I’m having a better time busking lately than I did in previous attempts. Tariq made an appearance, then stepping off saying he’d be back.

He did come back with a sketchy character friend. Tariq didn’t play guitar, seemed to be nodding off before walking with his sketchy friend to find some food. I told him I would be leaving around 4:30 and he said he would be back so we could play together. I left at 4:45 with no Tariq in sight. I did enjoy playing for the toddlers again, who get so excited hearing music and seeing a guitar that they do a little up and down dance while squealing with delight and constantly saying hello.

It really makes my day.

here comes the rain

I love your smile

Too Much Monkey Business

Friday has arrived. Took it’s sweet time getting here. It was a relatively productive day, but first, last night’s TV. Yes, Lost was on and yes it was good. All about Desmond. No barrow. No marketplace. Not much in the memory department either. It was good and the scene with Penelope was sweet. A happy ending of sorts. Talked to Annemarie on the phone for a while last night. Just family drama, too personal to write about here. How’s that for a tease?

Things have been very tense in upper Bergen County for a while and they all came to a head. Fucked up teenagers, damaged parents makes for a emotional maelstrom. And then in lower Bergen County, my sister in law Elaine is having an angiogram, and Frank is stressed. With the cutbacks in state employees I wonder if Frank will be affected. He’s a country employee you see, and shit rolls downhill. Annemarie is trying to organize a laughter yoga group and that’s slow going. I hope it works out, though all you need is one person. Or maybe one other person. You can laugh by yourself, but it’s easier to laugh with someone else.

I laughed loudly watching the Daily Show last night with Jason Jones jonesing for Starbucks coffee, going so far as rooting through garbage cans and drinking a used condom filled with coffee. Yes it was gross and it was also hilarious. I slept incredibly well last night, woke up really rested and in a decent mood. I timed myself and I can wake up and be out of the apartment in 45 minutes, including a shower and coffee. I didn’t shave today, since it’s Friday. Also cut my forehead with my thumbnail. Not used to having nails, you see.

For most of my life I bit my nails, and for the past couple of months I haven’t. I haven’t even used the bitter nail enamel that I was using for years. It’s bitter, it’s probably poison and it did deter me from biting my nails for a while, until I washed my hands a few times and the poison would wash off. Now I compulsively file my nails and that seems to be the tact that works. I still want to write something about Nail Biters Anonymous, which involves someone like me, or actually me, going up before the group and saying , ‘Hello I’m John and I’m a compulsive nail biter’ only to get the response of ‘What? We can’t understand you, take you fingers out of your mouth!’. That’s as far as I got. If anyone else has an idea on how to follow that, I’d like to hear it.

Bill is hoping to come over this weekend, if just for the opportunity to sleep in our bed, he’s been couch bound for a few months now, and not sleeping well. I’m looking forward to sleeping next to him again. Hopefully I won’t hit him while I’m sleeping. It’s been known to happen. Got my Guinness for the weekend, I’m set for what comes before Part B.