Just got back from Manhattan. Just wandered around, stopped by Farfetched saw Lois and Harpy. It’s funny, usually when I go there it’s often Harpy by himself. Today Lois was there and I love Lois but it was like there was no cutting up while Lois was running the show. Lois, I guess plays the more mature role, the schoolmarm. Susan I suppose would be the hip teacher and Harpy plays the role of Karen Valentine, the substitute or rather, the student teacher. It was a nice chat with the two of them, Lois asking about various people in my life, who happen to be going through tough times of their own.

After that I wandered over to Whiskers, the holistic pet store and visited with Kathe, my former next door neighbor in Weehawken, also Chaz’ estranged wife. It was great to see Kathe, it had been a number of months. She was glad to see me as well. But it being a nice Saturday afternoon everybody seemed to be shopping for holistic items, lambs lung and other disgusting items that dogs like. Too hectic to hang out so I said good bye, agreeing to meet for a drink sometime one day when she’s not working.

Before I went into the city I watched Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. I saw it when it came out in the theaters and I liked it but didn’t get most of it, one of the first instances where there was so much going on, on the screen that I couldn’t figure out or even remember different parts of it. The first Lord of the Rings movie was the same. So much going on, but seeing it years later on video made me ask where was I when I first saw this in a theater?

Cloverfield was the latest movie, though I think it would be better to watch it on a TV since it was filmed on a digital camera. Watching it on a big screen was a little too much. That bothered Pedro when I told him about the movie after I finally saw it, weeks after he saw it and months after I originally hyped it up. He really wanted my opinion and all I could say was I’d rather wait for the DVD. It would be better to watching it on his giant flat screen TV in Otisville.

Tonight is the infamous Black Party at Roseland in midtown. It’s a 36 hour bacchanal,and for me occasionally tempting. But I always remind myself that it is nothing but club music and I generally dislike club music. That would be hell for me, though when in the act, I’d rather hear something I don’t know. But me and club music? Forget it.

One blog that I read had an article about the Black Party, the blogger had gone a few times already and posts something about it every year. This year while hyping it, he followed that entry with one about HIV infections being up 48%. Now there’s a reason NOT to go.

Potential anonymous sex with a thousand men? Hmmm… and even if you don’t get HIV there are a few other STD’s that you might catch. Not to mention the headache of club music. I don’t know what it is, but I am out of step with most of the human race and definitely out of step with most of gay men. I don’t dress like them, I don’t listen to the same music, I don’t go to the same bars. Just about the only thing I have in common with them is a predilection for play mates of the same sex. And it’s always safe, by the way.

It’s always been like that. From the early 80’s when I was attending meetings for the Gay Activists Alliance of North New Jersey or GAANNJ, even though I tried, I just couldn’t connect with my fellow gay men on a social level. True, I was young and impetuous and they were in their 30’s and 40’s but there was nothing at all that could form a bond. I never really talked to anyone, they didn’t talk to me. I would sit in the back and listen to whatever was going on, close to the exit.

It was there that I first heard of AIDS, in 1982 when it was called GRID, or gay cancer. But no one asked my name and I didn’t ask for theirs. I am usually the invisible man at gay bars, that is when I actually go. I’m often ignored by bartenders. It generally provides me with a reason never to go back to that particular bar again, only I rarely go to bars these days. Maybe once or twice a year.

McSwells was a cool bar, listed in the Gay Yellow Pages back then as a gay/straight bar and it was. Most of the guys there were gay, and there was some cliquishness but overall it was a friendly spot. Never had any hook ups there, by the end of the night we were all more interested in getting party supplies to the after party. I started out going to McSwells for the music, and while it was the main reason, at some point I was spending more time socializing in the front room rather than the back room where the music was.

Still I am a gay man and the LGBT are my people. I will march with them or cheer them on and stand with them should the need or outrage arise. I am also part of the generation of LGBT people that have buried quite a few friends.

And here is my gayest look for Jay Leno

cut n’ paste
http://www.mygayestlook.com/