Tag Archives: Cigars

I Shall Be Released- Tom Robinson Band

Oh Shlomo is having his frozen scrotum attacks once again. Another text, another request to come in and help out. I’m saving money that I would be spending on cigars by helping them out. Sometimes it’s good and fun and then there are times that Shlomo is in. He’s not much in the communication game. He shows up, says one or two things, goes out and is never seen again for hours. Doesn’t ask if I need anything or if the shop needs anything. I’ve been helping them out so much lately that people think I am the owner of this disorganization.

Today Shlomo comes in followed by two friends a man and a woman who immediately start speaking Hebrew, though the woman apologized for talking Hebrew in front of me, saying that it’s rude. She said that in English then went back to talking Hebrew. Shlomo gives them cigars which they immediately cut and light up. I tell them they can’t smoke here and Shlomo tells me it’s alright, despite me standing next to a No Smoking sign. This is one of the reasons why people think I am the owner and not Larry, Moe and Shemp. I enforce the rules, they allow the rules to be broken.

Hey, it’s not my shop and if they get shut down due to infractions by the city of Hoboken’s department of health then I lose nothing and would go back to ordering cigars online. It would be a shame though to see the three of them losing their business, their investments due to their negligence and basic lack of communication. So Shlomo and his Zionist hoodlums went to the cellar and puffed away there, smokers candles lit and air purifiers plugged in and running. After about 90 minutes they had left.

I had to go downstairs and found their smoker’s candle burning brightly. I suppose the adage of never leave a candle or flame unattended was never translated into Hebrew since it was left to me to extinguish the flame. But hey, who ever heard of a cigar shop going up in flames anyhow? I do have to admit I was very glad they left and I am on my own once again. It gets harder to look the other way, but the promise of free cigars for my problem is a welcome excuse.

And over the weekend I heard from a couple of former co-workers. They texted me individually about how they missed working with me. I replied, wondering what brought this on and it turned out they were listening to music, music they knew I would have something funny to say about. Then a photo was sent to me, of a Crosby, Stills and Nash playlist.

I remarked how I wouldn’t play that hippie crap to which they replied that that was the response they had been missing. Laughs on all 3 ends of the smartphones I reckon. I was glad I could help them get out of their Sunday morning doldrums since Davy & Goliath doesn’t get broadcast anymore these days.
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I Shall Be Ever Maiden

Last night was very quiet, almost dull but that is how I wanted it so I am not complaining. Bill was driving to Atlantic City and if he were around it would have been perfect. But someone has to make the donuts and Bill enjoys driving a bus so I guess it will work out. I watched It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World and it was just as silly as I remembered. When it was originally broadcast on TV when I was growing up it was always an event, a 3 hour event at least for boys around my age.

I watched with one eye on the TV and another eye on the computer, reading about the making of It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World and I almost looked like the illegitimate offspring of Sandy Duncan and Marty Feldman. I also was able to pick out a few cameos, like Don Knotts and Buster Keaton and to my surprise, Joe. E. Brown. I say surprise since I don’t believe I had ever seen Joe.E.Brown in anything except for maybe a Drew Friedman cartoon. Joe E. Brown plays the union organizer outside the hotel slated for demolition.

I’ve been on Facebook lately. I know, how unusual. I am never on Facebook. I’ve reconnected with some old friends from back in the day and saw some other friends and almost reconnected but thought, it’s been 20 years. Do we have anything in common? It’s a crap shoot I guess. You might be able to find a common ground, or you might not. They might have become an ultra conservative and a gun fetishist where as I am not. That was directed at someone in particular that I hold dear but who has been pissing me off a lot lately.

And now I find myself at the cigar shop. Shlomo has a bar mitzvah he needed to attend in the Bronx and begged me to sit in the shop. I suppose it’s easier for me with the setup we have than to find someone they can trust, someone who knows cigars and could sell cigars, and also someone with a key to the cigar shop. Oh and not paying me is a plus for them too. Bartering for cigars works fine for both of us and maintains the legality of the whole schmear. And since I know the River Street crowd fairly well it’s a win win.

Of course it’s a slow start to the day. And when I finally have a cash sale,there is no change in the till. That means a walk to my bank since banks just won’t give you a roll of quarters if you don’t do you business at their bank. I’ve written it before, I like Shlomo, Brandon and even the invisible Semite Israel but they do not communicate with each other, much less me and though it’s their business it seems like they do not know how to run it. I guess it’s a good thing I am here.

It was alright working at the cigar shop. Certainly more busy on weekends than during the week. I guess nannies and au pairs aren’t smoking many cigars these days. I did run into Liz Gall a former Maxwell’s employee. It was funny to run into her. I was outside the cigar shop having a quick puff and I saw her walking by. I wasn’t sure if it was her so I said ‘Liz’ in a quiet voice. She stopped and from then it was hugs and kisses. She was off to dinner with mutual friends and I had to get back into the shop. We made plans for a coffee at some date in the future.

Now I’m home, Bill is driving again. Not much going on, but I’m glad I could help out my Hebrew friends at the cigar shop. And the AVO’s aren’t as bitter as I remembered.

Shlomo and Israel's fave Kosher cigar

Shlomo and Israel’s fave Kosher cigar


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Strawberry Letter 23