Tag Archives: Cigar Shack

I Can’t Let Go

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I tell you last night was such a nice time that today was bound to be a disappointment. And it certainly was. I left the apartment, shirt and tie, suit jacket hanging over my arm. When I got to the street I realized I did not brush my hair. Luckily, I carry a hair brush, so no biggie.

I crossed the street and saw a phone number for a store in the neighborhood that hasn’t been open for a while. I thought I would give a call to find out what was up. That’s when I realized that I did not have my phone on me.

I knew I needed my phone, just think of all those applications I filled out on line, those resumes I sent out. How are they supposed to ignore me if I don’t have my phone. So it was back up four flights of stairs, each floor up with a higher temperature. By the time I was back on the street, I was sweating like a whore in church.

That is how the day started and it was just the way things go. It’s a drag, in general and not just for myself but for millions around the world I suppose. Not much going on, I worked today with both Calvin and Thomas and both were quite hungover from a cigar event they ran last night.

Well Thomas was hungover and Calvin was still drunk from the night before. He left the event and then had about one hours sleep before he had to return to the cigar shack and deal with a fire safety inspection at 5:45 this morning. It took about a minute and it was a complete waste of time.

The landlord of this building which houses the cigar shack is a corporation run by dicks. So Calvin continued being drunk and left when possible, around 1:00. Thomas got himself together and once again did aces in sales, being hungover seems to not be a deterrent for him, whereas me, as dry as a bone, face Sisyphean struggles nearly every bleedin’ day.

Still I break my personal goal of at least one thousand but it pales in comparison to my co-workers, especially Thomas. I have been getting all of the strange customers today and also been luckily enough to not deal with customers that I don’t particularly care for. And those customers seem to be increasing in number.

Thomas is a good guy to work with, but he thinks I write about what a horror show he is to work with but that’s not true. Jerry Vale and the Bradley are probably the most difficult to work with. One seems to be afraid of Thomas and myself and the other with his mole like eyes is just a pain in the ass most of the time.

And guess who I will be working with tomorrow? Well much to my surprise it won’t be Jerry Vale. Thomas and the Bradley which isn’t half as bad as I thought it would be.

Something interesting happened the other day, don’t know whether or not it’s permanent or not, but basically, nothing turns me on. Sexually that is. I can appreciate a nice male body but what to do with it- I have no concern anymore.

And you can’t just keep them in the corner and stare at them, you have to do something. And what that is simply does not interest me at all. I do not regret it, feeling the way I do (or not feeling anything). I have been sexually active since I was a teen and probably had more sex than a lot of people. Just don’t ask me their names since I never asked for their names and if I did their mouths were full and I wasn’t able to understand them anyhow.




I Can’t Hear You

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Another other day another doofus. That was my Facebook status in the beginning of the day. Woke up feeling hungover, but not from alcohol since I did not have a drink. More of an angry hangover and that anger met with despair this morning.

Last night was the staph meeting and it went relatively well, the only problem was the fact that someone (more than likely Jerry Vale) threw out my bottled water. I didn’t get home until after midnight which did not make me very happy.

Bill once again kissed me goodbye, telling me he loved me that I was beautiful and I said in return that I loved him too and asked him to be careful. I walked to the bus stop and sat waiting for my bus, smoking a cigar that I started last night and feeling such depression. Nothing happening job wise, no responses from real people or companies, just bull shit from Career Builders and the ilk.

I was so trapped in my own head as I stared out the window. My neighbor Deborah got on the bus and talking with her certainly helped me out. I was avoiding talking to Bill, not calling him while waiting for the bus though I did call him once I was near the cigar shack. He noticed the despondency in my voice and I did my best to lie and just say everything was awesome. Word to the wise, if you ask me how I am and I say ‘awesome’ I am more than likely not awesome.

I of course had to bury my feeling and my state of mind when I started work which may have convinced Calvin that I was OK but Thomas knew. Of course Thomas knew. I confide in him and hope he is trustworthy. He is a gentleman. Or at least his blog states that he is.

As the day progressed my spirits had gotten somewhat better. I spoke with Bill again and also with Pedro. And made plans for a beach trip with my niece on Monday. Something to look forward to. On Sunday I am scheduled to go to Millbrook NY and represent the cigar shack at some event that to my dismay does not involve LSD.

I volunteered for it thinking that it would be nice to get out of town and since I am off Monday and Tuesday it seemed like a near perfect getaway.

At last I am home once again. And once again I am, if not down in the dumps, in the vicinity of them. At the cigar shack, the area around the cigar shack was shut down due to a suspicious package found nearby. No evacuation, just a lot of people walking past, a lot more than usual and drivers and pedestrians yelling at each other.

I ordered food since I was hungry and hadn’t eaten since 2:30 in the afternoon. Of course the delivery was late and the order was incomplete. I have to remember to not order from Good Burger anymore. They always fuck up my order.

A day off tomorrow and my only plan is to see the Guitar Bar All Stars as they play by the Hudson River. It will be good to see the funniest woman alive once again as well as her husband Mr. Wonderful and their kids. And I get to sleep later than usual tomorrow morning.