Tag Archives: Bill

Maybe Your Baby

It’s certainly not a good time to be working in the financial world. Unfortunately I work in the financial world. Fortunately I don’t make enough to be worried about but things do change. What I have to my advantage is the fact that the people I work for are hopelessly inept and can’t do much for themselves.

That’s where I come in, making coffee, filing, distributing mail, making sure things are tidy and ready to go as well as knowing who to call when something goes wrong. It’s really easy to do but like I said, they’re inept. Total deja vu feeling, even writing about the deja vu was deja vu like.

Thank you Mr. Reagan and your cronies for the deregulation of banks. May you rot in the ground you wrinkled fuck.

So after eating last night I felt a lot better, and even sat on the stoop reading Alan Bennett’s Untold Stories. He finally touched upon Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. Dudley had insecurity to deal with, Peter had major alcoholism. Alan Bennett felt that part of Dudley’s insecurity was from the fact that he wasn’t a writer.

An entertainer, an actor, a jazz pianist but not a writer. He wasn’t a funny guy it seemed. Thanks to the movies he became more famous but it didn’t really help matters much.

Bill showed up as I sat outside enjoying a Padron. He was tired and carrying groceries that were perishable so he made it upstairs while I sat and read and puffed on my cigar.

Got a phone call from my sister in law Elaine last night. Initially I thought it was a belated birthday call but no it was bad news. My brother Frank had a seizure on Saturday night and was rushed off to Hackensack Hospital. By the time he got to the emergency room he was relatively normal and Frank and Elaine were back home at 4:00AM.

He last had a seizure in April. It seems stress might be or is a major factor in this situation, but what could be done about stress? I know there are many things that could be done regarding stress, but we’re talking about my brother and for him a lot of things are a chore.

Things such as taking a walk is a chore. As much alike as we are (and we are) things like that, walking, riding a bicycle are just some of the things that make up the difference between us. I called Annemarie and Brian and left messages for them.

Eventually they both called me back and I told them the news. Frank was home today and I spoke to him briefly and I could hear how annoyed he was with all this, the seizure and the medications.

Last night Roda came over. I had invited him a few weeks ago to come over and watch True Blood anytime he’d like. Last night he liked to come over and I couldn’t say no, nor did I want to. He’s always good company and it’s great he and Bill get along so well.

It was a rather low key affair, the two of them on the couch, me sitting where it seems I always sit, close to the computer. He stayed for Entourage then split, before heading down the stairs, telling me that he was going to be a father again, this time they’re having a girl.

I didn’t ask who the mother was, thinking it was Elly the mother of his son Logan. I’m sure I’ll find out eventually and how does one ask that question anyhow?

Tonight Bill and I are going to an art show at McSwells. It’s a show for the artists in the Neumann Leather building on Observer Highway. They’re in danger of losing their space, what maybe the last frontier from the artsy bohemian days of the late seventies, early eighties when I came into the Hoboken picture.

Bill’s having a nap right now, so there is a good chance that he won’t make it. I was surprised when he said he’d go with me this afternoon, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to go after napping.

Here are today’s New Yorkers.

Ventilator Blues

Well I am looking forward to work tomorrow, it will be something to do. Though I will be dreading and perhaps lying when asked how my birthday weekend was. The past two days have been quite dull and the highpoint of the day so far has been a walk to the Hoboken post office.

It was not supposed to be the highpoint of the day. The highpoint of the day was to be me going into the city to my office to drop off a few pounds of coffee that I bought this morning.

Yeah it’s been a rather pathetic weekend. It’s close to 90 degrees out right now and it’s muggy as all hell. I had had enough of being cooped up inside today and decided to head into the city. The sun was beaming on the side of the street where the buses into the city ride so I was opposite, walking down in the shade, keeping an eye out for the buses.

The bus showed up when I was between stops and the bus drivers do not pick up people that are not at the bus stop so I was screwed. I found myself walking around Hoboken carrying three pounds of coffee and whining to my sister on the phone about what a pathetic weekend this has turned out to be.

I’m just so annoyed at myself that I postponed drinks with Rand and Lisa. They didn’t give me a set time and even though I have nothing but time on my hands my mood had turned considerably rotten and anti-social.

I thought it would be better if I just went back to my messy apartment and sat in front of the computer since my life wasn’t pathetic enough. Bill was upstate yesterday then at his mother’s last night. Juan said he was going to stop by after seeing his family but he didn’t. I’m just a lonely guy it seems.

Once again I find myself depending on others to get me through, to show me a good time. And then when there is an offer I bail. Now I’m hungry and cranky. I bought a half pint of heavy cream and I will more than likely make some more sub-par pesto with pasta and chicken. This time ignoring Annemarie and Harpy’s advice since heeding their advice yesterday left me wholly dissatisfied.

Annemarie had the right idea on her birthday weekend. She went away on a yoga retreat. My problem is, I don’t do yoga. She suggested following one of my interests, but what are my interests? When pressed for an answer I come up blank.

Music? That’s about my main interest, but how could I pursue that? I have a ticket for My Bloody Valentine on September 22, but right now I’m thinking about selling it. I don’t want to go by myself and I could use the money and I did see them back in 1991 at Studio 54. I think those are three pretty good reasons not to go.

Another interest of mine would be the movies. But I don’t like going to the movies alone. There are plenty of movies that I want to see too. Yeah I’m in a situation of my own doing. I could call people up but when I do they have other plans or simply can’t make it so I end up not even asking and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

I’m annoyed with myself, with my computer, with just about everything that crosses my path. It’s just as well that I sit here next to the open window sweating in a warm breeze.

Oh right, I have a dental appointment tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to. Nothing major, just some x-rays and periodontal charts that need to be done again and then sent back to the insurance company so they could deny my benefits for the third time.

Last night I watched The Brave One starring Jodie Foster and Terrance Howard. Oh it sucked. Easily forgettable. Another DVD rental that when it ended I couldn’t help but yell BOO. Bill is in it for about 2 seconds, in the building that I worked in when I worked for Golden Staffing on 44th street.

You have to slow down the DVD considerably and zoom in order to catch Bill getting into an elevator.
All in all a crap movie.

Also caught SNL last night which was funny. Tina Fey ‘surprise guest’ as Sarah Pallid. She had the whole accent down perfectly, the long flat tones as she speaks. Lil Wayne wasn’t all that. Easily ignored.

A little while later.

I’ve eaten. Used olive oil, a dash of heavy cream, a lick of butter and two and a half tablespoons of pesto sauce, maybe three tablespoons. A definite improvement over last night and a definite positive effect on my mood. When I don’t eat I tend to turn into Joan Collins. Or my father. Or Joan Collins father.

The pasta was good, the sauce a wee bit creamy but not creamy like I would get on 57th street for lunch. A happy medium it is. Not feeling so sorry for myself. I don’t have it so bad, as bhikkhu states in the comments below.

Hoboken Sunset