Tag Archives: Bill

I Never Learnt to Share

Termination without cause is what they said and termination without cause is what happened. I suppose budgets should have been checked beforehand, and now this. It’s wasn’t that great an investment in time but I do have to confess my disappointment. I certainly do appreciate the time spent and still think highly of them, enough to not harbor any bad feelings. That’s the way things go I guess. I stopped by the morning and received the official news. There are still days left on the schedule and where they stand on this remains to be seen. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

A beautiful day today though. I’m heading into the city in a few hours, Bill is taking part in a staged reading about the Proposition 8 trial in California, about same sex marriage. It was written by Dustin Lance Black and when first put on in Hollywood, had bold faced names in the roles. Bill is my bold faced name. It’s a few hours from now and I just have to figure out how to fill my time until then. I’ve already done laundry and ran a few errands. I could always watch my clothes dry I guess.

Bill and I have been taking a break from politics and the news, opting to watch comedies on TV. A few weeks ago when I was hanging out with Rand, he asked me what shows I watch on TV. I realized that I don’t watch programs, the channel has usually been set on MSNBC. And that has been stressing me out. So a conscious decision was made to laugh, or at least watch something amusing. So we watched The New Girl and The Mindy Project, both were actually funny. Then for old times’ sake, Lawn Hors d’œuvre SUV which was pretty good. Then we watched The Soup and Key & Peele on Comedy Central. Bill loved Key & Peele a lot.

That’s the TV roundup since Bill went to bed soon after that I followed a little while later. Quite boring isn’t it?

Today is also National Coming Out Day. That’s a way of showing support to people in the closet about their sexuality, showing them that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that life is better once you stop hiding yourself. Staying in the closet does not help anyone and in fact makes a lot of problems.

I was outed myself and once my sexuality was revealed, some people were fine with it and others dropped me as a friend. Nothing had changed really, something I had kept hidden was revealed. People who were friends on Friday were no longer my friend on Monday. Nothing I could do about that. There was a betrayal involved, the ‘friend’ I had come out to, told his girlfriend who had a big mouth. Luckily I did find new friends who were quite supportive.

It’s all about support you see. It is a necessary thing, considering that there are so many people against coming out. They seem to prefer a person living a lie.

I just got back from seeing Julio for a few minutes. It was good to see him. He is going to a wedding tonight and needed a pair of cufflinks. He knew I had a pair to loan him and it was good to get out in the sunshine and talk. He was disappointed with my turn of events and offered a few words of support. We had a few laughs, it’s rare that we see each other these days and he is hardly ever online, spending more time in the real world.

And now I just came home with Bill. Bill played the role of Paul, one of the plaintiffs in the Proposition 8 Trial reading. He was excellent and quite passionate, drawing tears from members of the audience, not just me. Well done, excellent cast, excellent reading of an excellent script by Dustin Lance Black. I am quite glad I made it, walking up to 80th Street and Lexington Avenue from 33rd St and Sixth Avenue. I was early and it was a good walk. With all that walking (in dress shoes no less), I wore a suit & tie for the occasion.

Kudos all around.




09 Feels So Good

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Yet another cloudy and rainy grey day both inside and out. It hasn’t been an easy day that’s for sure and with each passing minute it seems to get worse and worse. Things don’t seem to be going in the direction I had hoped for. I couldn’t do anything about it yesterday since it was Columbus Day but today I was able to make a phone call and my worst suspicions were confirmed. Now my hand or rather my wallet is being forced to do something that I really don’t want to do. That’s about all I will say about it for now.

Today was spent in Secaucus and Hackensack. Training for the new job. I was anxious about it and met up with my co-workers at the designated pick up spot. Some of us were off to Secaucus and some were off to Hackensack. Then at midday there would be a switch. Two buses were involved. I rode out to Secaucus where I wound up helping a co-worker out with the computer program we were learning. I was surprised at how resistant to new things she was, everything was wrong. It wasn’t like she wasn’t getting it, she did not want to get it at all.

Then a lunch supplied by a local deli. The Hackensack crew came in and ate with us then the Secaucus crew hopped on the Hackensack bus. Dismal Hackensack, even more depressing in the rain. We drove by the Bergen County Jail, past where the Bergen Record used to be. White Manna is still there and once again I sailed on by. The place where we went was a nondescript building, must have looked good in the 1970’s when it was built, now it is basically described as shabby. Not in disrepair, not yet.

The whole thing was over soon enough and we were riding the bus back to Hoboken. Some people got out earlier, closer to their homes. I rode to the end. It was drizzly as I walked home and climbed the stairs. I relaxed when I got home, but the relaxation did not last.

Less than the daily quota of 500 words.

Here I am again. Still forlorn, but Bill is home and he makes me feel better.

Since October 7, 2005 I have posted 2,386 times. I’m sure at least a dozen were very good. I would like to think so at least. Life sure has changed since 2005 though. Bill and I were on the outs then, separated but not really. We were still in constant contact though living apart for a spell. Now we are together for life, taking the good and the bad and it’s times like this that make me realize that it is definitely good to have someone there.

Tomorrow will be the day that something will be done, one way or another. A talk will be had and what follows depends on what was said by them and by me. I truly wish things were different but reality has a way of jumping in.

510 words, not bad.

18 Being Alive