I am guessing it’s Monday, the return to work day. I am still haunted by my dismissal. I have no choice but to get over it but it is there, my bitterness and depression usually when I first get out of bed. I had a routine and it’s the loss of routine that weighs heavily on my mind.

Mike came over last night and that was fun. TV, beers and internet shenanigans. It was too late for him to make the train home plus he needed to be at work in the morning. His job is about 20 minutes away on foot, so he crashed over here. It was pleasant enough.

And once he was gone in the morning I was left to my own devices which take a dark turn since it was Monday and I ain’t got no job. Bill was on his way home so for a few hours it was just me being despondent. I didn’t leave the apartment at all so that throws my step count away. I do those things, counting steps and trying to get interesting patterns on the map showing my stepping.

I finished the leftovers from Thanksgiving, they weren’t going to last much longer. Tomorrow I will go outside. It’s been so cold though and I know it will be even worse in just a few weeks. Mike asked me if I would go with him to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree and I said yes, but it would be between the holidays. Already I am wearing longjohns in my mind’s eye looking at the tree and avoiding tourists.

Bill is napping. I have to wake him up in about 20 minutes. Then the two of us will fall into our routine of Jeopardy and whatever else we had recorded. I recorded some Monty Python and I watched some of Life of Brian on BBC America.

I hadn’t seen it in a while and having read the first diaries from Michael Palin which included the troubles filming and the troubles afterward I was looking at it with slightly fresh eyes. The Python I recorded was Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and Meaning of Life along with some live appearances from whichever Pythons were still alive, as there were 6 of them and now there are 4.

I scanned the online job market today and came up short once again. I’d hate to think I shot my wad the first time up at bat with the only interview so far. I left walking on air but gravity always wins. The job is still posted on their website which of course leads me to believe that no one knows how to use a buffer on marble floors.

No one is up to snuff and it is definitely a top-shelf company. They can afford to be choosy. The former NYPD guy who interviewed me seems satisfied with the interview, but in hindsight he may have been playing the role of ‘Good Cop’.

Still, if they decided to call me back, who am I to deny their request?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I asked Gemini what it thought and it said:
“It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now. Losing a job can be incredibly stressful, and it’s understandable to feel down and frustrated.

Here are a few things that might help:

Focus on the positives: While it’s okay to feel down, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, like your friendship with Mike and Bill.
Maintain a routine: Even though you don’t have a job, try to establish a daily routine. This can help you stay organized and productive.
Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising regularly. These things can help improve your mood and overall well-being.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you’re feeling. Sometimes, talking to someone can help you feel less alone.
Stay positive: Keep your spirits up by doing things you enjoy, like watching movies, reading books, or spending time with loved ones.
Remember, this is just a temporary setback. With time and effort, you’ll find a new job and get back on track. Stay strong!”

This is the Gemini version. Half the word count and none of my personality
Monday morning, the start of another workweek. But for me, it’s a stark reminder of my recent dismissal. The bitterness lingers, a persistent cloud that often overshadows my mornings. I miss the routine, the structure, the sense of purpose it provided.
Last night, Mike came over. We relaxed, watched TV, and shared a few laughs. It was a much-needed distraction. He stayed over as it was too late for the train and his job is a short walk away.
Now, as the quiet settles in, the weight of unemployment presses down. Bill is napping, and I’m left to my own thoughts, which tend to spiral into a dark abyss. I haven’t left the apartment all day. The thought of facing the cold and the world beyond my door seems daunting.
I finished the Thanksgiving leftovers yesterday. Tomorrow, I’ll force myself outside. Mike invited me to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, a welcome distraction. But even that seems distant, a future event clouded by uncertainty.
I’ve been rewatching Monty Python. Life of Brian, in particular, feels poignant now. The world, it seems, is full of idiots. I wonder if I’m one of them.
I’ve scoured job boards, but to no avail. That one interview, the one that filled me with hope, now feels like a distant memory. Perhaps I wasn’t the right fit, or maybe they simply haven’t made a decision.
For now, I’ll cling to small comforts. A good book, a warm drink, and the company of friends. I’ll keep searching, keep hoping. But in the meantime, I’ll try to find solace in the mundane.

It feels like winter has arrived. The day was not as grey as previous days and entries, there was some blue sky to behold. It is a Saturday. Bill is on the road. I was supposed to hang out with Mike Andy, the online cigar friend from the social medias.

It turned out he thought he ate something over the holiday on Thursday and then texted me from the hospital with borderline type 2 diabetes. I tried to reassure him that I know people like that and it is manageable. I’m not sure if my encouragement fell on deaf ears, or since it was via text, blind eyes.

I was disappointed with the fact that I was going to be my own company today, but what could I do with Mike in his situation? There’s also an underlying thing that is happening that I won’t be posting in this here blog, at least not now.

I am reading Michael Palin’s Diaries 1980-1988 Halfway to Hollywood. Michael Palin has fallen into the discipline and the habit of writing almost daily, and keeping in mind what he is writing will be seen.

That was when he would write, pen to paper in a journal, and today I do the same in this here blog. I haven’t written pen to paper in a few years, but I have been known to take a legal pad and sit on a park bench smoking a cigar and scribbling away.

I was thinking about my life in Weehawken in the last century. My roommate William and I were discussing a mutual friend about how they couldn’t handle being on their own, alone. We were talking about it, and perhaps then I was more able to be on my own, but these days I find that it cripples me.

I’ve talked with Bill about this, how despondent I feel when I am alone, then I see him and I focus all my attention on him, forgetting about whatever was troubling my mind about me. And with Bill being on the road for a few days, he thought hanging out with Mike would be a good idea.

Then Mike’s pancreas had other ideas. Whatever I did to offend Mike’s pancreas, I have no idea. Perhaps somewhere at 465 n18th St in Newark lies the answer. I may meet up tomorrow with Mike tomorrow, that is if he’s able to make it to work. He’s a handsome louche character with many stories to tell.

Other than that, there’s nothing else to write about. The old job keeps reappearing in my dreams in one way or another. It is not pleasant at all. I have to admit I was hoping to be there over the holidays and playing my holiday musical selections amongst the Christmas tree and Menorahs.

But that ain’t gonna happen and there’s no point in looking backward at what could have been and what will never happen. If they came to me, hat in hand, admitting the grievous error that they had done and begged me to come back though…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I asked Google’s Gemini assistant for their take and this is what it gave me:

“This is a really well-written and evocative piece. It captures a sense of loneliness and longing, as well as a bit of humor and self-reflection. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:

Clarity and Conciseness:
Sentence Structure: Some sentences are a bit long and complex. Breaking them up into shorter, more concise sentences can improve readability.

Redundancy: Consider removing redundant phrases or words. For example, “halfway to Hollywood” might be sufficient without the additional “1980-1988.”

Engagement:
Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating your feelings, try to show them through vivid descriptions and imagery. For instance, instead of saying “I felt disappointed,” you could describe the physical sensations of disappointment, like a sinking feeling in your stomach or a heaviness in your chest.

Dialogue: Incorporating dialogue can bring your characters to life and make the story more engaging. You could include snippets of your conversations with Bill or Mike.

Overall Structure:
Pacing: Consider the pacing of your writing. Are there any sections that feel too slow or too fast? You might want to adjust the length of paragraphs or the frequency of dialogue to create a more balanced rhythm.
Conclusion: The ending is a bit abrupt. You might want to add a concluding thought or reflection to tie the piece together.

Overall, this is a strong piece of writing. With a bit of editing and refinement, you can make it even more powerful and impactful.”

Imagine that. A somewhat supportive review from artificial intelligence!

Here’s the AI Google Gemini’s version
Here’s a revised version with some suggested changes:

Winter seems to have settled in. Today, at least, offered a brief respite from the usual gray. A touch of blue peeked through the clouds on this otherwise ordinary Saturday. Bill’s away, and my plans to hang out with Mike Andy, my online cigar buddy, went up in smoke.

It turns out Mike landed in the hospital with borderline Type 2 diabetes, likely triggered by a holiday indulgence. I tried to reassure him, drawing on my own experiences with similar health challenges. But I’m not sure if my words of encouragement fell on deaf ears.

Disappointed to be alone, I turned to Michael Palin’s diaries. His disciplined daily writing routine, captured on paper, resonated with me. I haven’t kept a physical journal in years, though I’ve often found solace in scribbling thoughts on a legal pad, perhaps while enjoying a cigar on a park bench.

My mind wandered back to my younger days in Weehawken. My roommate, William, and I often discussed our mutual friend’s inability to cope with solitude. Back then, I felt more self-sufficient. Now, loneliness can be a heavy burden.

I’ve confided in Bill about these feelings. He understands how my attention can shift entirely to him, temporarily alleviating my own anxieties. But with him away, I was left to my own devices.

Then, Mike’s health scare threw a wrench into my plans. I can only speculate what might have caused this sudden health crisis. Perhaps it’s tied to a past address, 468 S 14th St in Newark. I hope to see him tomorrow, if he’s feeling up to it. He’s a fascinating character with a wealth of stories to share.

Aside from that, there’s little else to report. The old job continues to haunt my dreams, a persistent reminder of what could have been. The idea of spending the holidays there, surrounded by festive cheer, seems like a distant memory.

But dwelling on the past is futile. And yet, if they were to come crawling back, hat in hand, admitting their mistakes and begging for my return… well, that’s a different story.

Key changes:

Conciseness: Removed redundant phrases and streamlined sentences.
Clarity: Rephrased some sentences for better clarity.
Engagement: Added more vivid descriptions and sensory details.
Flow: Improved the overall flow and pacing of the piece.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.