Yet another odd day today is August 1st Friday. I just spent the last hour shovelling salad into my mouth and running around the building looking for a fan that I bought the other day. it was delivered to my building just as the freight elevator was closed nobody knew anything nobody knew where or what and I was on a wild goose chase. those wild geese are crazy

Took a while but I finally got it but in the midst of running Marcus informed me that Livia oh Livia was looking and made a phone call that no one picked up and I texted him back and I said where or who did she call I haven’t received any word from him so I don’t know what’s going on with that
More paranoia fuel to add to the paranoia fire. Like I said yesterday there’s some things I shouldn’t talk about and since I found the mistake before anybody else did I’ve been on it like a hawk today but still I don’t know if that achieves anything I just look and look and look I wait and wait and wait and I don’t know anything.

Mike is going through some terrible tooth problems and with no insurance and no money He’s left to deal with it on his own he might be going to the emergency room for an extraction. This happened months ago and he didn’t do anything about it and now it’s back and it’s worse.

I’ve been through that myself but it was over 30 years ago things were different I went to a place in Union City to doctor said I could pull it it’ll be $100 or I could do a root canal which it cost $700 and I said pull it and he did any warned me that it would do damage to my teeth later on he was right about that. And now here I am with prosthetic teeth but it wasn’t so much the removal of the teeth was more of a gum thing.

Now I sit in my spot. The rains came last night and cleared everything like the heat out so it’s comfortable and balmy at best. When I get back to my desk I’m going to find out whether or not I should contact Livia oh Livia, I’ll ask Marcus about that.

I don’t think they realize that I do take a lunch but I usually eat my lunch at my desk going over various things as I am eating. That might be frowned upon I guess I’ll find out. And here I thought today was going to be an easy day and now I am not so sure.

As soon as I’m done adding 51 words to this I will give Mike a call to see how he is doing and probably throw away the cigar which is a good cigar but not the best cigar. Other than that it makes me want to holler throw up both my hands.

I did hear from Jimmy Chile who advised me that Livia oh Livia’s call is nothing to be worried about and yet I’m worried. And of course Jimmy was correct there was nothing to worry about since the call was all about Marcus and had nothing to do with me.

I wish I was not so insecure but I am. Doubt frequently creaps up on me causing an existential crisis in my head. It’s crazy hot out but you knew that already. It’s 89° and it feels like 95°. I don’t understand but I’m in the thick of it. I’m sweating up a storm even though right now at an indoors in air conditioning.

Rain storms are expected today. I’m prepared. I’m wearing pants, work boots and I have an umbrella. Mike was supposed to come over today and once again the can has been kicked down the road until tomorrow. It’s too hot. The fan that we’ve had for the past couple of years is circling the drain.

I ordered the new fan which should be delivered tomorrow to my workplace which means I’ll have to drag it home hopefully it won’t be too cumbersome. I went to bed early and slept fine thanks to my regimen of melatonin sleep aid and gummy.

The world is a mess. Wars and fighting going on all over the world. Major earthquake yesterday causing tsunami warnings along the Pacific. And how I do wish I was down in Ocean Grove though today would be the day would be returning from Ocean Grove. Nobody’s fault but mine I suppose.

Bill is just wonderful and I am so happy to have him in my life at my side. He is a good man and I’m glad that he likes me and I’m even more glad that he loves me.

I am looking East and seeing rain clouds passing over and those clouds usually go from west to east. I think that is what is going on here so I really can’t say I guess I’ll find out at lunch time.

“When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy you know he was a no good kid / but when he threatens your life with a switchblade knife- what a guy makes you cry and I did”

Apparently I’m giving out duffel bags this afternoon. I don’t know why but here I am waiting for them. I guess that’s something I’ll do when I come back from lunch which consists of me sitting on the wall smoking a mini cigar in the shade.

And like I had predicted I am outside smoking amnes cigar. The sky is not right but the sun is still out there somewhere. It feels like I’m more of an observer than a participant today so that’s not necessarily true. I do look forward to sleeping this weekend. I do hope I’ll have a good night’s sleep tomorrow or tonight or both nights or for the rest of my life. Perhaps I’m asking for too much, perhaps I’m asking for not enough.

Sorry I just sighed. Not for any particular reason just to see if I could dictate the word sigh into this machine that sometimes works when it wants to and doesn’t work when it doesn’t want to. It doesn’t work right away at least halfway through the day it doesn’t.

The second half it does.