O, Possibilities…

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Funny, now that I have been home the past two days, instead of dictating, I sit and write. I admit getting a bit lazy; I usually dictate into my phone, since I’m not in front of the computer. I’m usually in the city or at work, which is usually the reason for being in the city.

Mike was here once again last night. We had a good talk. Bill came home safe & sound, and he joined whatever conversation or viewing that was going on. After Bill went to bed, Mike and I shot videos. I was up later than expected and had no trouble sleeping.

I woke up this Tuesday morning, the penultimate Tuesday, a few minutes before 9:00 AM. Bill and Mike were both awake and puttering around. Mike was going to leave in the afternoon, but a call from his parole officer had him heading home sooner rather than later, and Bill was taking him in a Zip Car.

They left in a blur, and I wound up slowly starting the 23rd day of December. About an hour after Bill returned, he got a phone call. He’s going to be on the road, leaving this Friday and possibly gone for two weeks. That spent my spirits crashing.

Last night, Mike told me his beloved that he might be flying in next week for New Year’s. That news was dispiriting, and my showing that made Mike start to look for the door. I explained that I needed to eat, and my feelings would likely improve. Mike explained that his beloved procrastinates, and it’s unlikely that he will actually follow through on his travel plans.

I was somewhat reassured, but in the back of my mind, as Jimmy Chile calls ‘the evil Jiminy Cricket’, chirped, but there is always a possibility… that it’s not 100% certain. The return of the superstitious atheist.

With Bill, it of course hit harder. I just folded into myself and was anxious about Bill being away for so long. Yes, I have separation anxiety, but this also concerns his health. Bill, like myself, ain’t gettin’ any younger…

I took an unneeded nap and then walked around Hoboken by myself, the weather a mirror of my emotions, gray with dampened spirits. Bill and I did talk, and his plan changed, as it will. Things are usually set by the time Bill walks out the door. This trip seems to be more complicated, and the balls are up in the air, even when the rubber hits the road.

Bill, with his superpower being travel plans, thrives in this and contacts other drivers about what the itinerary is and picks their brains for what they might know about the excursion. Bill might be here for New Year’s Eve and leave once more on New Year’s Day.

It’s all up in the air. Between now and then, things will likely be changed and or dropped. Mike is scheduled to return tomorrow, then the Garfield expedition. Things are changing. Always.

fare thee well Brady

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Monday, December 22, 2025

Winter has arrived officially, and all the autumn lovers are silent. Darlene Love sings Marshmallow World. Well, sang actually. Now I am playing Scritti Politti, ‘White Bread Black Beer’.

It’s been a good weekend. Mike came over on Saturday, and it’s been good. He returns to his crib tomorrow. We sat around and talked, Bill, Mike & me on Saturday. Good talk, though, about what I couldn’t remember right now. More than likely, it was about theater and plays, and show business.

Sunday had Bill sitting at home while Mike and I walked around Hoboken. We looked at plants and went to the 503 Social Club, which had an art exhibit with various artists in Hoboken and some musicians playing. It was brief, and then we walked up past Frank Sinatra’s birthplace to the really big supermarket.

We came home, had some frozen pizza, and watched One Battle After Another by Paul Thomas Anderson. Bill and I watched, Mike was preoccupied with his phone. That used to bother us, but it doesn’t anymore. Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn, with a great supporting cast. I can see why it made the top spot for a few film critics end of the year poll.

Mike got Bill and me nice Christmas cards with handwritten notes in them. Heartfelt and touching, they hang on the door to the apartment in place of a wreath. Bill was off on the road for a day trip, and Mike and I headed into the city. We are planning on going to Garfield on Thursday for Christmas dinner with Elaine. Very much the same as Thanksgiving, only this time Brady won’t be there.

Brady was a dog that was given to my niece Corinne by her ex-boyfriend. They split up, and she got the dog. Corinne moved to Colorado and was going to take Brady with he,r but her father, my brother Frank, talked her out of it since he had become so attached to Brady.

Frank and Brady were pals until Frank died, and then Brady became Elaine’s responsibility. Elaine did well, taking excellent care of Brady up until yesterday, Sunday. Brady was 98 in human years, and his kidneys were not functioning. Elaine knew what had to be done and scheduled it for today, but things took a turn on Sunday, so Brady shed his mortal coil on the first day of winter.

Elaine is understandably sad, and perhaps having company over this week might help lift her spirits or distract her from them.

So I bought a gift for my grand niece, Shelby, and picked it up with Mike. We picked up lunch, which we ate in my office. I didn’t have to be there and didn’t expect to see anyone. But Jimmy Chile was i,n and we exchanged holiday greetings before heading out once again in the cold.

There has been a plan to have Mike here for New Year’s, but tonight he talked with his beloved, who said he was going to try to fly here during those days. Mike has little faith in it actually happening, but knowing it might be a possibility gave me the blues. That Irish thing, where you have had a great time and all it takes, in this case, was a remote suggestion to sadden me.

And I recognize the bullshit since Mike is not mine, I do like having him here, as does Bil,l and in my mind palace plans were made and suddenly shaken up by something that could very well not happen. I do love Mike, but I am not in love with him.