Oh so many fucked up situations going on and they’re not just mine. Marcus Mike Bill and his play Lord have mercy. It’s all going on around me. I gotta duck and make sure that I don’t get hit by the bullshit.

On the plus side I ordered a salad that should be ready in about 2 hours which I will pick up. There was a paranoid thought in the back of my head yesterday that Mike was going to do damage to the apartments but that’s paranoid thinking in my head.

I came home and everything was the same as it ever was. There was a protest or a rally regarding the benches on Washington Street and I promised to attend and when I got home I realized that I forgot and after climbing those four flights of steps to my apartment I wasn’t about to go outside.

So I feel bad for Kurt who is recovering from a stroke a few years ago and was quite irate that street benches were taken from the sidewalks. I sympathize but cannot show up. There is a feeling of guilt. But with what was going on in my head yesterday I had to get home.

Time is crawling and I’m trying to busy myself at work

Bob Huff his birthday was yesterday Martin Chambers drummer of the pretenders his birthday is today. I do this x amount of candles for so and so on social media and I have to do that again when I get home tonight

Things are better between me and Mike as I wrote last night I suppose. High school hijinks perhaps.

Well Bill had a nice phone call with Mike and it went well. Bill is in love with the enthusiasm that Mike has for the theater world and realizes that it’s a different relationship that they have that I have with Mike. Mine was based on cigars which is limited as I know quite a bit more about cigars and Bill’s is an ongoing theatrical day thing.

Changes day to day I suppose that’s the nature of our relationship. Some days are better than others but he doesn’t understand or didn’t understand and I think he’s coming around now.

Work is the usual oddness mixed with pleasantries. Marcus, aloof when he walks in and hour or so later He’s telling me what’s going on with his life and I try to be supportive with him. His drama is everywhere it seems where yesterday was mine. Today is Marcus’ day for high drama.

Jimmy Chile is out at another office so I’m doing a lot of flying solo which is fine I suppose so interacting with somebody is usually better and helps the day go by but until then I’m a solo act.

I just listened to the first Cars album as well as a few songs from their second and third album. I am a bit embarrased at how I greatly admired Ric Ocasek lyrics back in the day 48 years ago. Now I look back with some embarrassment and a lot of laughter towards those lyrics ‘I’m flying like a cement kite’, now I mean WTF?

Xavier High School is near. It’s a Catholic High School, a boy’s high school, and I’ve just seen at least 30 or so students walking by, so full of life and energy. They have to wear uniforms that involve a tie, which I did not.

This is the third attempt that I have made to post to Google Docs. I’m quite annoyed. Mike’s phone is unavailable since he did not pay his bill. He asked me to send a Lyft because he thinks his paycheck might be in his mailbox, and he did not set up direct deposit.

He texted me on Facebook asking me if I could arrange a Lyft I figured that he needed it right away and so I booked the car right away. The driver showed up, no Mike, driver pulls away, I’m eating $20 for lunch.

Meanwhile, he’s able to post videos on Facebook. I’m quite annoyed with him, very much annoyed with him. Bill is annoyed with him, very much annoyed with him. Bill, Mike, and I must have a conversation about this. It seems that I am being taken for granted.

His priorities are having to post smoking cigar videos on Facebook rather than getting his shit together and getting to what he has to do. I get a voice text saying Oh, you ordered it too soon. I needed it in an hour. Motherfucker if you needed the car in an hour, you should have said I need a car in an hour, but no, you said you needed the car, and I jumped to it, and now I’m eating that $20.

And I’m the stupid mother fucker who even looked into having a round trip since he only needed to run up his steps, check the mailbox, and then get back in the car, but that would have been $50, which would have meant I would have been eating $50. $20 is bad enough, but $50 is insane.

Homeboy is going to have to take the bus from now on because this Lyft nonsense is not going to happen anytime soon again. Yes, I think the whole house of cards that Mike and I built has collapsed upon itself, and it is all for the best. I feel I was taken for granted, perhaps even used, but then again, I allowed myself to be used. There was a physicality to the relationship that does not exist anymore.

Despite all that he’s gone through 12 years behind bars, He’s childlike and in many ways naive in many ways, innocent in many ways. And yet on the other hand, he’s a big slut, so perhaps not so innocent.

But this was the last straw, and that straw had a price tag of $20 on it. I can’t even say I’m sad about the whole situation, perhaps relieved that I will not get so upset or pissed off anymore. Did we match? I thought we did at the beginning, but that match was usually used to let a cigar. Intellectually, not so much; financially, definitely not. Not that I am made of money or have a lot of it, but I did hook him up many a time. And let his thousands of followers online assist him the way I had.

Everything is more complicated. More people, more complications. Mike is complicating things. I don’t like it
He did not pay his phone bill, so he does not have a phone, so he’s not really able to communicate. He asked me to get a Lyft for him, and I did just that. I saw a text saying he would let me know when to send a Lyft, but he sent it after I arranged for the lift.

We just got off the phone after an hour. Things are better; we’re not physically attracted to each other. The guy in his videos is definitely not the guy sitting on my couch, looking at his phone, watching awful videos of police being horrible and people in general behaving badly.

The cool-off period has set in. And I’m fine with it.

We’re still friends, perhaps good friends. He wants to be around for my birthday next week, and I’d like that too. I’m glad he’s not a reader, especially not a reader of this here blog.