Seems like it’s another strange, awkward day this September 24th, Wednesday. Have a small cigar for lunch while Mike presents his side of things regarding his new Paramore, which is not coming this weekend due to something that has come up. The new Paramore is blowing up on Facebook so much so that someone posted that he’s posting too much, to which Mike responded that it was racist. I saw it and I said I don’t think it’s racist. I thought it was rude and disrespectful.

Mike stated that the guy complaining has no black friends, and I almost mentioned that neither does Paramore, how he does not have white friends. It’s made me reluctant to request his friendship, and I did withdraw my request the other day just because it’s taking so long and I don’t really care. Plus, I’m looking at dropping out of social media for a period of time for such yet to be determined.

And though things ended on the physical side between Mike and me, it’s still a twist of the knife somewhat to hear of his infatuation with this guy from the other side of the country. I mentioned earlier that I did look him up, and I saw a missed as this and the listing as that and doing this and being that.

I found that that didn’t add up, but then again, you look at my social media info, it really doesn’t add u,p but I wasn’t putting stuff up there to meet guys I was putting stuff up to be funny as people lower their age online I added 30 years to mine so I am 93 years old on the social media.

Mike, being Mike, is oblivious to how I might be feeling. He called us up last night. It was a schedule posted for his job for October, which only had two dates of work listed, and he was freaking out, which in turn freaked me out, thinking that I’m going to have to help him look for another job again.

Turns out it was a computer glitch, and he’s working more than 2 days. He really loves me and Bill and feels comfortable enough to call when things like that happen. But like people are sometimes available when you need them, and sometimes they are not available he’s really not available when needed.

So Yancey came in today, and it was okay the one has to look at him carefully and try to figure out what’s going on in his head. There were a few issues that he had with the condition of the desk, which was not clean enough for his white gloves, and he promptly did some dusting. He reminded me that there are some apps and routines that I should do with regard to visitors.

It really shouldn’t be my job to do it, it should be the host and their requirements, but we know how that will turn out, so it falls to me.

I really don’t like autumn.

I sit at my desk listening to Elton John, Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. It’s 50 years old. I remember getting it a week or so before it was officially released, from my brother Frank, and I played it incessantly. I recall one time fighting with my brother Brian as I was listening to the album on a close and play GE record player. He caused the table to shift, and the record player was on, causing the album to scratch and causing me much despair.

Of course, he had to replace it. I remember my brother Frank giving me a CD, I guess in 2005 when it came out, and I was remarkably psyched, and he might have thought I was putting him on, but I was actually blown away.

I played the CD and much to my surprise I knew every note and nuance that I heard, even though I hadn’t played the record and at least 30 years. It truly is a classic, the ending of the Elton John band of the ’70s with Elton and Dee and Nigel and Davey, and Ray with Bernie, was the last gasp for that crew. Elton kicked Dee and Nigel out of the band. The reasons are still unclear; I would love to know, and I probably never will.

10.60 – 4.56= 6.04
I always order the same thing and try to have the correct change when I go to this Dunkin’ Donuts on 14th Street. There’s a girl there in her hijab who always has the look of a deer in the headlights when I walk in.

I take a daily survey so I can get a free donut, and I have mentioned Miss Deer in the headlights a few times in the past today. She really outdid herself, where it seemed like she was a deer in the headlights, having a stroke.

My items turn out to $4.56. I gave her $10.60, saying out loud how much I was giving her. She could not figure it out, even though she probably could enter the amount in the computer/register; whether or not she did, I don’t know, but she did not give me the proper change. I remarked, “People, we have done this time and again, almost every day of the week, why can’t you get this right?” I did not raise my voice, but I’m sure I registered my frustration.

There’s a man there in the store might be a manager, I don’t know, but he stepped in and took over, and I took him two attempts to give me the right change. They have a register; it probably does the math for them unless they enter the wrong amount, and Little Miss Deer in the Headlights could not figure it out.

I did write yesterday, but never posted so today might be a double header. I don’t really know until I get home and edit this, and also edit yesterday, I was overwhelmed by distractions and a foreboding feeling.

Yesterday started with a very heartfelt sentimental text from Mike, which was nice to read, and we talked yesterday, and that was it. Things are what they are, and that’s fine. I don’t expect much to change. I’m not sure if I want to change much
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According to some people, today is the date of the rapture. I’m not sure if I’m still here. I haven’t heard of people vanishing or planes crashing or trains running off the track, which is what would happen, I suppose, if somebody who was operating those machines would suddenly vanish.

I slept well last night, but I have to go to bed earlier, and I did last night, which is 11:15. Some idiots in North Carolina gave you a call at 12:30, somehow getting through my two not disturbs so I will have to do something about that tonight because I do not want to be disturbed without trying to sleep and fuck that shit

I’ve talked about it enough, but I could have sworn Sunday or Monday would have been the day to do it, but a social media break is definitely in the works and much needed with everything heading to be so horrible, or at least sad or ill moods.
Jimmy Chile has come to the rescue once more. I had been wrestling with a plan that the company that placed me at the fruit stand wants me to do with regard to a development plan. Basically, what you want to do with your Future?

Being happy is not a good answer at least not in a professional setting, because there is no room for happiness in a professional setting. Capital it fails us now. So in my attempts to post and repost and re-edit them over and over and over, I started to get snarky, which will not help me get a raise or a bonus or whatever it is I’m doing this for.

Gone are the days of just showing up and doing your job and going home; now you have to jump through hoops and tell people that you are a team player and going to do everything you can to make life better for them.

Jimmy Chile might be near the end of his rope with regard to my snarkiness. Yancy is expected in tomorrow, and no one is happy about that. He said he was going to send me a calendar invite, but that has not happened.

I am gravely disappointed in everything today.

I just saw a social media post about the movie Clue, which came out 40 years ago today. I remember working for a messenger company but saving the ads in the subway for the movie Clue.

The messenger company was En Route, located just around the corner on 15th Street between 5th and Union Square, which is where I am now. So much has changed, so much has not. The great Martha Keavney was working as a bike messenger, and she got me in there as a foot messenger. It was not as glamorous as you’d think.

I lasted almost through the season, the holiday season, which was crazy hectic, giving me nothing much. Soon after that, I think I got a job at Friedman Alpren and Greene, an accounting firm.

Jet Watley interviewed there and didn’t take the job, and suggested me, so I did and I got it and I think I left it there about a year before winding up at San Loco, where I left for a few months, and then wound up at Murdoch magazine for a few years. All that from finding out about the movie clue being released 40 years ago today…

Am I the bearer of bad news? At least let’s talk about jobs? I worked in the recording studios and music business, and that world is gone. I worked in publishing for People Magazine, and that world is gone. I worked in finance, and there was a financial collapse.

It’s about to happen again, and then the 9/11 victims’ compensation fund, which is hanging on for its dear life because their man L’Orange Merde is swinging a knife around the webbing that is supporting that VCF.

Now I sit outside smoking a small cigar, a mini cigar actually, bigger than the ones I used to smoke, get smaller than the ones I smoked last week.

It’s definitely like a summer day and I am remembering things from 49 years ago specifically a blue Panasonic cassette replayer at my sister gave me for my birthday that kept getting tapes and I thought it was something wrong with the player it was probably the tapes I returned it two or three times and eventually gave up lose the store at the same street in Rochelle Park.

But it was the beginning of my interest in recording things, and how far I’ve changed. It was also 49 years ago that I saw Gerald Ford, who was President at the time, give a speech at the Garden State Plaza, and I came thisclose to shaking his hands, but they pulled him away before it was my turn, so I did not vote for him that year in 1976.

I have just come to the realization that she loves you by the Beatles is a song that makes me happy. Even thinking about it lightens my spirit somewhat.