It’s Tuesday, a spring like Tuesday, 63° & sunny. I’ve gathered my steps for the day, nine thousand and change. I’ve been borderline depressed. Walking around in the bright sunshine helped somewhat, but it would have been better if someone had been with me.

And then there was the surprise resentment I found for some people. No names offered, just grudges since it seemed that I did not have enough on my mind.

Yesterday had me getting a few spam calls. I screened them mostly. I also change my voice if I take the call. If they hang up I call them back to find the number is out of service. But what appeared to be the biggest scam was Rafael Banta from XSPS USA External.

I’ve been dealing with SPS lately. They had me interview in an office at 23rd Street and Park Ave South. I thought it went well, they didn’t. Despite that, I called their office at 10 East 40th Street, a building I used to work in.

Left voicemails stating this Rafael Banta was calling on their behalf. I can’t imagine a staffing agency in midtown Manhattan would outsource recruiters from Marikina, Philippines, but with XSPS USA External anything is possible I would guess. I used the ‘not normal’ voice to speak with Rafael and I took control of the interview.

The thing that pisses me off is that I made arrangements to be available for this interview which seemed to be a scam, calling from 12 hours away. I had a request for my availability for some production which I gave and rescinded since I thought the phone interview was a real thing.

There are more unemployed people today than there were back in November 2024. Going as far back to FDR, every President tried to lower the unemployment rate, every President except for the resident, L’Orange Merde.

While walking around I remembered a class trip in 1975 to Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts. I didn’t remember much about the Village, I remember the songs on various AM transistor radios riding back to NJ.

The trip took longer than expected and we did not get back until late, much later than I had been accustomed to back then, parents sitting in a cold parking lot at St Francis de Sales grammar school in Lodi, NJ. The top 40 song that played in my head was ‘Take It to the Limit’ by the Eagles.

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it is part of my DNA which might have a few questionable songs playing on that double helix of mine. I do love ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’ by The Captain and Tennille. My memory of that was hearing synthesized music in 1975 in a pop song and my brother Brian and I marveling at it in the Rochelle Diner in Rochelle Park having lunch with our mother.

Another song that creeps through the sponge like top 40 playlist is ‘Gimme Dat Ding’ by the Pipkins. That came out when I was 8 years old. These pop songs weren’t all diamonds. I don’t think I took music ‘seriously’ until 1973.

Also concurrently in my mind is something that family members sometimes do, which is ‘I’m not calling them, I called them last time’. It’s bullshit and I found myself doing just that. All it took was the picking up of the phone, no need to dial just hit the profile pic and having done that, making a phone call to someone I wanted to talk to but a misguided sense of Irish pride was stopping me from doing so.

I threw the pride away and called. It went well. No need for that nonsense.

I am in that Limbo area. Purgatory. The Bardo. Looking for a new job while dreading having to start all over again at a new job. It usually crops up on a Monday and that is where I am right now. Bill has returned, and Mike is back in his crib.

Things are OK. They could always be better. I’ve been sleeping well since Bill has returned. Last night I had a dream where I was a Luigi Mangione type, then I was in a movie about Luigi Mangione starring Oscar Issac.

When I was the Luigi Mangione type I had started a fire, which was a fireball. I ran around shutting doors making sure that damage was minimal. I am pretty sure that the dream took place in a compilation of offices I had worked in. I was on the run and lucky that I had quite a few people helping me out.

Some people were not though. I was climbing trees in a very suburban area of Washington Heights, Inwood, or the other side of Lodi where I grew up. That is where I was climbing trees. I was grateful for the help I was getting and did go back to the scene of the crime.

There was an intermission when I had to go to the bathroom and was able to get back into the dream somewhat, but this time it was the same location but I was about to go on stage with a weird version of the Rolling Stones. I didn’t see their faces as we waited in a hallway to get on stage.

I think Oscar Issac was in that dream as well. There were still vestiges of the fireball dream but this seemed to be a reboot of sorts. I had seen a photograph of Oscar Issac and Pedro Pascal cuddling earlier in the day so that is probably where Oscar Issac came from.

Plus I noticed that Ex Machina was on TV though I did not watch it having seen it before. It’s a very good movie but I was not in the mood. I think Oscar Issac is very easy on the eyes. I do prefer him to Pedro Pascal, not to denigrate Pedro at all.

The spam calls are coming in this morning. Two calls in five minutes. Neither left a message. I called back both numbers, one replied the other did not. I told the one reply (who was in Virginia) to send me an email with the info and they haven’t yet. I doubt if they will.

So it’s a Monday which is a drag if you are working and even worse if you are not, and I am not.

I may have given up on the concept of doing a podcast or a series of YouTube videos. It’s been a while since I had even thought about it, and there was no support at all from anyone. By support, I also mean anyone that I talked to about this concept and there were no queries or input about it.

Maybe it is dead, maybe it isn’t. I am also beginning to realize that I will have to aim lower for the salary and jobs that I have been trying for. A bitter pill to swallow and I still resent the pieces of shit at Bratty McGrotty.