I might have posted previously something called A Question of Degree. I did that yesterday, and it might have been the same title that I posted a long time ago.

It’s Autumn that’s for sure.
It was up and out this morning around 5:30 I still had another hour to go, and I woke up and it was dark out, and I had a little bit of a headache, so I said, ‘You know wha,t I should take a mental health day,’ and so I did, and I informed the authorities of my intentions.

And I slept another hour, and then I woke up and I felt guilty, and I felt worried about my PTOs dwindling away. I have almost 40 hours, which is a week, and it would like to take that time off. I only have until the end of the year, which is only two and a half months away.

And I went back and forth in my head, should I go in, should I stay home, should I go in, should I stay home? Eventually, I contacted Bill, and I asked his opinion, and he said I should probably go in if anything, I will show that I’m a trooper, so that’s what I did.

I told my supervisors and the powers that day, and I took some Pepto-Bismol and was going to lie down, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, road construction happened outside my bedroom window, rendering me unable to relax or feel better, so I thought it best to come in cuz I am a trooper.

So instead of taking 8 hours PTO, I took 2 hours PTO, which I will have to figure out how to work next week. It’s been a strange day. I’m not too happy about it, but I’m in the thick of it, and there’s nothing I could do but to get out of it and that’s merely a few hours away

Bill might be going away for a few days this weekend. They bring me alone, which is fine, I suppose. I’m not sure; anything is possible. Mike might come over tomorrow, and anything is possible if that’s the case.

Frankie dear Frankie is losing his grip on things and pleading with me to help him via text, which I’d love to help, but I don’t know how to help or even if I can help. Last night, he said I should get in touch with his ex-boyfriend and tell him to get in touch with Frankie

His ex-boyfriend Pat, who had been together for 10 years and broke up, and someone I have never met, I don’t know him, and it would be very awkward for all parties for me to be a complete stranger advising him what to do with his life. Frankie’s at wit’s end.

It’s definitely hitting him hard, so much so that he might have put himself in an institution for a few weeks.

3 hours ago via text, I asked Frankie what happened? Why did you break up? I still have not heard anything since.

He responded that it was a long-distance relationship, and Pat cheated and is now with whoever he cheated with.

Thursday, October 16. It’s autumn. The days are shorter. It’s still night when I wake up in the morning. I do not like it, but I have no choice but to get through it. And so I do. It was the proper temperature to wear the pea coat this morning. No sweating like a horse this morning, more like a pony. An undershirt beneath the cardigan while the button-down shirt dried in the closet out of sight.

Work was alright today. A well-known rapper was in to promote his book with an interview with his wife and the co-author of the book. Apparently, the rapper had problems with drugs what and he recovered from the episode, which is also the title of his book. His new release drops at midnight tonight, and a book signing in Midtown tomorrow. He was a nice guy, said hello and thank you when I told him that his interview went well.

Mike is the one I turn to with regard to these rappers, and I mentioned who was coming in, which got him somewhat excited. But he’s also dealing with his beloved, who once again will not be coming over this weekend. Never mind the fact that the beloved didn’t book a hotel room. He needed to transfer money from his savings account to his checking account, and he told Mike that that takes about 24 hours. Mike believed him, though I did tell Mike that the whole transfer takes about one minute when done online.

I don’t think Mike wanted to hear that. He usually calls when he’s about to go to work in the city, and even though he had about 20 minutes before clocking in, he abruptly cut the call short. This afternoon, he told me the latest setback with the beloved, and I said that I did not trust the beloved. I tried holding my tongue when he discusses matters involving the blevoed’s plans, but I’m sure I crossed a line.

Mike was upset by that, and I tried to explain that this was the fourth weekend where the beloved had backed out. Mike explained that it was actually his own idea this time, and the beloved agreed. There would not be enough time together, maybe one day, and that day was supposed to include going to the Statue of Liberty as well as a visit to a cemetery for the beloved to honor his fellow soldiers.

So, Mike offered a way out, and the beloved readily agreed, perhaps seeing the chance to kick the travel plans down the road a bit more. I sort of see what is going on, but Mike doesn’t, or doesn’t want to. I have to remember to keep my thoughts to myself and just hang back and wait for the angry, disappointed phone call again. He wants to be in love so badly that he doesn’t see what is happening and occasionally realizes that a 3,000-mile relationship is not easy to maintain despite FaceTime.

Maybe it’s easier if both parties know each other and have spent time together in person instead of on camera. Bill is taken aback when he hears this going on when Mike calls. Mike sees what Bill & I have and wants the same for himself. Bill and I tried to explain that it’s taken us 25 years to get to where we are. But it seems Mike does not want to hear that either.