Ran Dumb

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I was born in 1962, I am 62 and I am 6’2”
I play guitar moderately well. I have not played with anyone in ages and I think I am too rusty to do such a thing nowadays. The guitar is nearby but I have not touched it in weeks. I should since I generally feel somewhat better once I do, if only for a few minutes.

I write, a few times a week with a minimum of 500 words. Whether or not it is good or bad is up to the readers who are unknown as well as few and far between.

I take nice photographs sometimes. I’ve been told that I have ‘eyes’ which is what Jack Kerouac wrote in his preface to the Robert Frank collection called ‘The Americans’. I fantasize about having an exhibition somewhere but the fantasy stays in my head and goes nowhere.

I used to post my photos on the social medias where they would occasionally get a thumbs-up, but I haven’t done that much lately. Sort of like how I write things for this here blog but I don’t tell anyone about it. Bill, Rand & Lisa know and I think that’s about it. My stalwart readers are in the dark.

I have a collection of photos, some from construction sites where it seems I saw beauty where no one else had. Lately, I have been photographing things left outside of buildings on the sidewalk of items that people are giving away or throwing away.

How can I monetize these paltry talents I claim to have? I never made much money when I was busking but then again it was just practice outdoors. Sure the guitar case would be open but I don’t think I ever came home with more than $5.00 which was $5.00 more than I had at the beginning of the day. And I was fine with that.

Today I photographed a leaf that was an indirect homage to Peter Saville who designed the covers for Factory Records like Joy Division and particularly New Order, hence the leaf.

With my employment status and the election, I feel like I am in a dream I can’t wake up from.

Regarding the employment status, in the texting between Daisy and myself the past few days she mentioned that Chono Atto. Chono is from the other side of the world, an emigre like Joselita Semen, Ishmael, and Godfrey.

Chono stated that they were afraid of me so they never had to work with me again despite there was never any reason to be afraid of me. It seems that Chono is a big fat liar.

On Monday they announced their spouse’s grandparent passed away. I had used that canard years ago. My grandparents had died decades before and if I needed time off from work, then it was time for a grandparent to die again.

Technically it was not a lie. It’s an effective lie since people would invariably relate with a dead grandparent and a sympathetic largesse was soon to appear.

And Chono is the recipient of such largesse, transforming a 2 and half day work week into 5 days off, with pay. When I first met Chono they asked me if I knew of an apartment that was available in NYC. I asked how much they were paying and they said $6000.

That seemed outrageous and in hindsight, it was probably another lie. Chono lies and they certainly get over each and every time. They got over on me with that whopper. But ultimately Chono is just a piece of excrement that must be scrapped off my shoes.

The law office isn’t going to call me back and say it was an awful mistake they made by letting me. Brianna Calamari, the thing that was hurt when I responded incredulously to an intraoffice text with ‘Really’, Raoul’s offspring lying about me bad mouthing the company in front of a client, they can all go to hell.

I don’t think I will ever see them again and if I do I am not sure I could hold my tongue. I think the tongue that these so called people are afraid of, will slice them into slivers of offal.

This is what could be the first of a series of random things that I post as notes on my phone but never made it to post, or just a continuation of things I did post or just me with an axe to grind.

Where is the box?

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Last week, when Bill and I went to see the Luther Vandross documentary we were chatting before it started. I don’t remember the exact conversation but it involved zombies eating brains. I said something quite witty and quick and I was astounded at how I didn’t even think about what I was saying but it was funny and apt. It happens from time to time, my mind reacting to a conversation in a humorous way.

I mentioned to Bill that we should do a podcast. With my employment status and the election, it feels like a dream I can’t wake up from and I am thinking of ways that I can take my meager talents and perhaps make a living from them.

A podcast seemed like a thing that might work, though we don’t have the expertise to get the mechanicals together to do such a thing. I do have an old friend who knows of these things and eventually sent a text about producing and directing a podcast.

I mentioned it being like the Mike Douglas Show from the 1970s but that was just a fleeting reference since the concept seems so much larger than that. It’s been about a week and I had hoped this friend’s eyes rolled back into place rather than the eye action that accompanies when hearing of ‘yet another harebrained scheme by John’.

The idea is still there and I have all these entries from this here blog that could be referenced and spoken of for broadcast. Bill came up with a very good idea of 5 actors that we love and or hate and why we feel that way about them. I suppose we can just do it ourselves without said friend.

I see so many others doing these things so why not jump on the bandwagon? Perhaps it would be better if we just do it ourselves. It might take longer but we would have no one to rely on but ourselves and if nothing comes of it, at least we tried.

I was thinking also of how another old friend, Steve Fallon told me years ago that I was born 10 years too late. I didn’t think much about it, it did seem to make some kind of sense. I mentioned it to the previously mentioned old friend who expressed some sort of disdain, saying it was a rotten thing to say. I didn’t get that at all, but perhaps old friend one was indignant on my behalf.

I was texting Daisy today, she was offering her belief that her god will do right bby me, all I had to do was believe and be positive. I told her it was difficult to maintain positivity when faced with so much negativity.

I had to tell her that no one wants to hire a 62 year old man, which is the main reason why I am thinking of podcasting or writing or selling prints of photos that have taken for years that friends and family remarked at how good they were. I have to think out of the box it seems.

It’s taken me long enough to think so, but I have to find the box first.