Topaze mon amour

Bonjour,

Je suis actuellement employée par Mohnki Cee Mohnki Dew depuis juin 2021. Lundi dernier, le 21 octobre 2024, j’ai été menacée de violence par une employée, la matrone enfermée dans le placard. Cette employée m’a contrarié au cours des 3 dernières années et j’ai fait de mon mieux pour l’éviter.

Lundi matin, il a commencé à me crier dessus dans la cuisine, en disant que j’étais une connerie, et m’a défiée à plusieurs reprises.

Au moins une demi-douzaine d’employés à proximité ont entendu cela. Alors que la matrone enfermée dans le placard passait devant mon bureau, je lui ai suggéré d’aller chercher de l’aide, ce qu’il a entendu comme si je lui disais « d’aller au diable ».

J’ai alerté la directrice des ressources humaines, Barbara Shorten, de ce qui venait de se passer, et elle a demandé les noms des employés qui auraient pu entendre ce qui s’était passé. Je lui ai donné les noms et j’ai également parlé à un superviseur à proximité, qui a pensé que je plaisantais.

Certains employés prétendent avoir peur de moi, mais je ne sais pas pourquoi, car je ne suis pas une personne violente et je doute que la matrone enfermée dans le placard agisse en leur nom.

J’ai exprimé ma crainte que la matrone enfermée dans le placard puisse venir à mon bureau avec une arme à feu ou un couteau et tenter de me tuer. Je ne sais pas si cela a été pris au sérieux. On m’a dit qu’ils avaient parlé à la matrone enfermée dans le placard et aux témoins et qu’ils m’avaient recommandé d’éviter la matrone enfermée dans le placard, ce que j’essaie de faire depuis juin 2021.

Une fois de plus, je ne me sens pas en sécurité sur ce lieu de travail. La matrone enfermée dans le placard a eu des rencontres négatives avec d’autres employés et le personnel de l’immeuble du 11 Park Place et lundi, il a déclaré qu’il avait une capacité potentielle de violence à mon égard.

This is something that I am working on as suggested by a family member. They were most alarmed when I told them what had transpired earlier in the week. I didn’t really think about it before but it seems that I have no choice.

I do fear for my safety unlike those claims of coworkers being afraid of me. I have never challenged them to a fight as I am not prone to violence. I have said it before and I will say it again, I have a mouth on me. That’s it. I am all bark and since I wear prosthetics in my mouth, aka ‘dentures’ I have no bite whatsoever.

The Legume did think I was joking when I said I felt threatened and his folly showed his disregard for my well-being. What comes of this I couldn’t say. I think that this is, more or less, a matter of it being on record. What happens to la matrone enfermée dans le placard does not matter to me.

I am waiting to run this by Bill and my family member is also showing it to their spouse. Once their opinions are given, then I will decide what to do. I can easily see myself at work, doing my job, with one finger hovering over the ‘Send’ button should I decide to proceed with this action.

It’s my only recourse it seems as I am not one to challenge anyone to a fight. And I am definitely not bullshit.

Hangry on the Telephone

988. That’s the number to call. Suicide and Crisis hotline. I was in crisis today. I called and spoke with MoDee. She was in California. It was good that I called. It was a rough day.

The Legume and I, the thaw I thought we had on Monday was just a mirage. Things are still awkward. Does the Legume realize I am being railroaded? Is railroaded the correct term?

Regardless, MoDee was most helpful. She listened to me and it really helped. So much that as I was talking to her a great weight felt lifted from my shoulders again. I did call 988 earlier this year and that was helpful but I did not pursue the suggestion that I seek therapy.

It’s funny, I do have friends, but not the type of friends where I can sit and talk to them about what’s on my mind. I’m sure they have things on their mind as well.

I posted previously about lunch with Nancy and Bob. Of course, that’s not their real names. During the lunch I mentioned that I had been having problems with depression and the look on their faces said a lot, basically, ‘We’re not THAT type of friends’.

Years ago when I did ‘do’ therapy I had friends that said ‘Why are you going to therapy? Don’t you know you can always talk to me? But those friends can’t provide objectivity and that is a major part of therapy.

Sometimes it’s a frustrating part. You talk to the therapist but you don’t get any feedback. MoDee suggested some physical things I can do, such as placing my right thumb on the right collarbone and the index and middle finger on the left collarbone. It seemed to work.

I was at work talking on my desk phone from about 5:00 PM with MoDee till about 5:25 PM. Right now I do not feel heavy, not laden with work problems, and also dreading the upcoming election which can involve terrifying thoughts. It’s been relentless.

Bill is great but tonight Bill is on the road again. He hates to see me like this and I hate to be like this. I certainly do not want to tell him how I am feeling when he is far away and unable to help. Once again if he were here I could and would focus on him, diverting my attention away from myself.

It’s these moments when I despair. But not tonight. I did have a sandwich which helped put away those blues. Bill does notice that I seem so much better once I have eaten. I guess that’s the same for anyone, hence the slang term, ‘hangry’. Angry when hungry.

Now I sit in the apartment, having done my laundry. That means my clothes will be hanging on racks and hangers for the next 36 hours. I’ve even turned on the heater to aid in the process and that makes the apartment quite humid, yet lemony fresh.

That’s all I got for tonight. Tomorrow is a bicycle day. That clears the head as well. And that is good.