Category Archives: WTF

I Never Said I Was Deep

A rainy Monday. It hasn’t been raining all day, just started a few hours ago when I was off to the bibliothèque to do some volunteering. Just a few hours putting away DVD’s and CD’s and a ton of non-fiction books and also helping out customers who couldn’t find certain items. One guy had an interview tomorrow and was looking for a book on how to ‘ace’ the interview. His thing is at Conde Nast and I wished him well. He kept calling me ‘sir’ which I found unnerving but it is something that I should probably get used to.

Yesterday was also spent volunteering at the bibliothèque. It was a quiet day inside, and I helped in when I could. Saturday was the busy day and I heard several times how grateful they were that I was there to help out. They’re good people and I don’t mind helping them out. The staff there likes me and I like them so it all works out. It would be nice to get a full time job there but we’ll see how that goes. It’s a civil service job and that’s a job one does not walk away from.

There was the chance to work part time but that salary would pay considerably less than the unemployment insurance I get. If I was collecting from NJ then NJ would make up the difference between the part time pay and the unemployment benefit. But since I am collecting from New York State, where I worked, it’s not that easy. For each day you work, it is a 25% deduction from your already low benefit. So if you work 4 or more days, you are screwed. In NJ they’re willing to do the math, in New York State they really don’t want to.

Today I had an interview finally. It was with a staffing agency in midtown, an agency I signed up for years ago, perhaps when I was still living in Weehawken. They sent me out on one gig, I showed up in a suit and tie, working for a publisher that puts out legal newsletters and books. They had me in the mail room and I was dressed more like the executives than the mail room personnel. That made everyone uncomfortable and the job ended only an hour or two later, not the full day I was told I would be working.

It was unnerving, the agency visit. I showed up early, suit & tie, looking fly. The appointment was at 1:00, I was there at 12:45. I brought the attachments they sent in an email, all filled out, plus proper identification and the resume with references attached. An hour later I hadn’t seen anyone. I mentioned that I had somewhere to go downtown at 2:30 and the receptionist said something that I didn’t quite hear since they play Pandora quite loudly in the reception area. Not relaxing stuff, not music, but ‘what the kids are listening to nowadays’.

That meant One Republic, Maroon 5, Gusttavo Lima, Muse and Spoon (whom I do like) all at a really loud volume. People are stressed to begin with looking for work and while they stress out sitting for their counselor, they get to listen to alternative Top 40 radio with songs picked by an algorithm in Kansas. I was certainly stressed when they set me up with some tests and I did not do well at all. I did better than I expected but overall, I was just above a passing grade.

My counselor did come out and we talked. He told me he would send me the test again to do at home and practice to that I could get a higher score. At the elevator he told me to stay in touch, maybe email him twice a week to let him know if I am still looking. It seemed like a brush off but I remain hopeful. So far there is nothing from the counselor in my mail box. I just found it, it wasn’t from the counselor it was from a third party and therefore wound up in the Spam folder. Now I have something to do tomorrow.

Last night Bill did not come home from driving until late. I watched Rent on HBO and it was good, not as good as when I saw it with Bill. A little too earnest and watching the opening 15 minutes I was reminded of the scene from Team America, Everyone’s Got AIDS, because of the first four characters in the movie Rent, 3 of them have AIDS. Still it was good to see Jesse L. Martin singing and it made me wonder whatever happened to the Marvin Gaye bio that he filmed a few years ago. Never released, not even straight to DVD.

last of the sunflowers?





no title

Yet another cloudy and rainy grey day both inside and out. It hasn’t been an easy day that’s for sure and with each passing minute it seems to get worse and worse. Things don’t seem to be going in the direction I had hoped for. I couldn’t do anything about it yesterday since it was Columbus Day but today I was able to make a phone call and my worst suspicions were confirmed. Now my hand or rather my wallet is being forced to do something that I really don’t want to do. That’s about all I will say about it for now.

Today was spent in Secaucus and Hackensack. Training for the new job. I was anxious about it and met up with my co-workers at the designated pick up spot. Some of us were off to Secaucus and some were off to Hackensack. Then at midday there would be a switch. Two buses were involved. I rode out to Secaucus where I wound up helping a co-worker out with the computer program we were learning. I was surprised at how resistant to new things she was, everything was wrong. It wasn’t like she wasn’t getting it, she did not want to get it at all.

Then a lunch supplied by a local deli. The Hackensack crew came in and ate with us then the Secaucus crew hopped on the Hackensack bus. Dismal Hackensack, even more depressing in the rain. We drove by the Bergen County Jail, past where the Bergen Record used to be. White Manna is still there and once again I sailed on by. The place where we went was a nondescript building, must have looked good in the 1970’s when it was built, now it is basically described as shabby. Not in disrepair, not yet.

The whole thing was over soon enough and we were riding the bus back to Hoboken. Some people got out earlier, closer to their homes. I rode to the end. It was drizzly as I walked home and climbed the stairs. I relaxed when I got home, but the relaxation did not last.

Less than the daily quota of 500 words.

Here I am again. Still forlorn, but Bill is home and he makes me feel better.

Since October 7, 2005 I have posted 2,386 times. I’m sure at least a dozen were very good. I would like to think so at least. Life sure has changed since 2005 though. Bill and I were on the outs then, separated but not really. We were still in constant contact though living apart for a spell. Now we are together for life, taking the good and the bad and it’s times like this that make me realize that it is definitely good to have someone there.

Tomorrow will be the day that something will be done, one way or another. A talk will be had and what follows depends on what was said by them and by me. I truly wish things were different but reality has a way of jumping in.

510 words, not bad.

18 Being Alive