Category Archives: WTF

I Cheat the Hangman

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Forgive the language, but today has been a mother fucker. Such a dumb ass day. It started at 6:00 this morning, with Bill kissing me goodbye and making sure I was getting out of bed. I had to get up early since Calvin had scheduled a re-certification class for tobacconists in NYC.

Now last year in June 2010 I had to go to Inwood on Long Island and sit in a room with gas station attendants and learn how to check identification cards. Today was scheduled for the same thing. I got there early enough, on time actually and saw Calvin as well as Ralph the tobacconist certification guy.

Ralph mentioned that it had been three years since the test was taken. I spoke up and said that I had done it last year and Ralph said then there was no need for me to be there. I looked at Calvin, and the supreme dumbass said ‘Well you’re here already anyhow, ha ha ha…’ Oh right then and there I wanted to throttle him.

I had to get up early for something that I didn’t have to. Stupid ass apparently forgot about my test last June. In fact he forgot about it last June, calling me up while I was online at Penn Station wondering where I was, how come I wasn’t at work. I reminded him then that I was headed out to take the test that he and Marcus had set up.

Luckily Thomas was there to diffuse my tension and after 90 minutes of a power point presentation as well as a test where most of the answers were letter ‘D’, both Thomas and I were on the street off to get our shoes shined. Thomas had the day off and they insisted he come in to take this stupid test.

Bradley was supposed to be there but he spaced and that was just alright with dumbass Calvin. Oh I’ve been carrying around this bitterness all day, on my sister’s birthday as well as Jerode’s birthday, a nice guy and nearby shop assistant. To offset the bitterness I am playing the Clash’s first album.

Yesterday was Joe Strummer’s birthday and I played Sandinista and Joe Strummer and the Mescalero’s Global A Go Go. Calvin left about an hour ago and Bradley left 30 minutes ago. Yesterday was cool with Thomas and Jerry Vale, today it was Dumb and Dumber. I didn’t care about the sales, I didn’t care about much of anything really.

My day was shot at 8:00 this morning and it was all downhill from there. Things being what they are, surprisingly I did alright on the sales front, maybe it was because I did not give a damn. Of course it was the luck of the draw, or in my case, whomever answred the phone. In this case I answered the phone. Someone from Beverly Hills wanted to buy a humidor and two boxes of cigars to send to New Orleans.

It was done over the phone and I have to admit, initially I did not think the sale would go through. But it did after a few games of phone tag.

Now I am home, and quite happy to be here. I don’t think I will have trouble sleeping tonight, having been up since 6:00AM. Sleep should be no problem, but having written that… Rest in Peace Jerry Leiber and Nick Ashford. Anyway, happy birthday to my sister Annemarie, the richest gal in Northern California!

Hard to believe it was only seven years ago Bill and I flew out to San Francisco to wish her a happy birthday on her fiftieth! Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have written that!




I Can’t Tell You Why

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New day, new document. It’s amazing how a good night’s sleep can decide the kind of day you will have. Since I slept soundly last night, the day has been going on an alright level. No dark moments of despair while waiting for the bus. No looking for reapers happy or grim or whatnot.

Weather wise I think the day can be described as splendid. An enjoyable lunch hour spent on a bench near the park, reading a book about 1970 by David Browne, in which I found a few errors. It was a decent summer read but ultimately as boring as it sounds.

It was about The Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel breaking up, the disarray that Crosby Stills Nash & Young found themselves in along with a lot of cocaine and the rise of James Taylor who was doing a lot of heroin.

I met and worked with James Taylor in the the 1990’s and he was clean and took it upon himself to lecturing me about my then Gauloises habit. Apparently he had a French tobacco monkey on his back as well at some point.

It was back to the cigar shack for me today and it wasn’t bad at all. It was Calvin & Thomas and me, a good team. Things worked effortlessly. Thomas is the great white shark of course and Calvin plays the role of Black Friday admirably. Me, I’m like Gilligan I suppose. Things happen somewhat awkwardly and a few laughs are had. As long as nobody gets hurt it is alright I suppose.

45 minutes left in the shack and I am ahead in sales which puts me in a good mood. Bradley stopped by the cigar shack, his wall hitting hand no worse for wear. Jerry Vale also made an appearance picking up something that he had delivered to the cigar shack.

I am happy to report that as of now, all systems are go for Monday. Bill, my niece Corinne and I are headed to the beach. Plans are to leave early enough, like maybe on the road at 11:00 in the morning. Bill even texted me telling me that he’s looking forward to some relaxation on the beach.

I myself am looking forward to Bill being relaxed and just spending as much time as possible looking at the horizon. And I am pretty sure that Corinne is feeling the same way. Can’t bring Brady the dog with us though. No dogs allowed where we’re going until after Labor Day.

Two more days after today before I get two days off. A goal to reach and attainable. I just made Thomas blanch with my use of an MLK comment that Juan used on me a number of years ago. 34 minutes to go and I’m felling alright. Bananas help.

I watched Stardust Memories again last night. I saw that on it’s opening weekend at the Century Theater in Paramus. A full house on a Saturday night and I was the only one laughing. That sums up my life in Bergen County. Good to watch again and interesting to see how many jokes have made it into my day to day life.

And the establishment that I wrote about previously, where I interviewed in June with the woman with a European accent, well it was the Hoboken Library. They turned me down. I knew it was a 50/50 chance and I also knew that one needed to have an ‘in’ to actually land the job.

I got a poorly written letter from Pina Lodles, the library director. Now as much as I like the Hoboken Library, I was actually hoping to work there and make it something that is not so badly run. The audio visual room is atrocious. Not that I was gunning for Pina Lodles job, but as a director Pina Lodles has surely dropped the ball.

And this bullshit of sending out letters, a waste of money and paper. If you’re going to notify people they did not get the job, then email or a phone call would be more economical. I suppose that isn’t the library director’s concern, then again, neither is writing a letter that is grammatically correct. It’s a shoddy, poorly run operation.

It’s just as well. I suppose that BCCLS doesn’t need a literate person in their employ.

Their loss!