WTF | johnozed | Page 13

Oh just got back from the cigar shack today and once again it was a bear of a day. It started out in a blasé way, grey skies, falling rain. Not much inspiration to get out of bed. Bill headed off later than usual, only about 45 minutes before I got out of bed. Shower, cereal, coffee and whatever.

And soon I was out on the street walking to the bus stop, talking to Bill on the phone. I love our routines. No Deborah on the bus, just the friendly bus driver and quite a few unfamiliar faces. Broke away from the herd in the bus terminal, going my own way.

Despite just missing an express train I was still early enough for work. Iced coffee, a trip to the bank and another phone call to Bill. Then I found myself in the cigar shack. Calvin was sequestered in the office trying to manage a budget for the next quarter.

This is probably the reason why he turned down the managerial position way back when. He was off yesterday trying to make sense of the budget, during which- a slurry phone call was had in the afternoon. He told me he did not want to be disturbed and I did my best to avoid him at any cost and I was mostly successful.

Of course there are customers who claim to be Calvin’s best friend who popped their heads in and distracted Calvin from his job at hand. There were three of us on staff today besides Calvin. Bradley and Jerry Vale were in as well and Bradley kept grabbing the lion’s share of sales, even Jerry Vale had passed me by.

I was too busy doing menial tasks so I didn’t really care. These things had to be done. When they were done, Calvin emerged from the office and felt that I was loafing about and suggested that I send out some emails to my clients and try to drum up business. Apparently we’ve gone in the past seven days from doing so much better than the year before, to hardly anyone coming into the cigar shack. Since the last year/this year announcement was made, things had definitely fallen by the wayside.

And I did not really need to know the gauge of Calvin’s Prince Albert. Bradley split at his appointed time leaving Jerry Vale and myself with Calvin crunching numbers in the office. Since I was off the floor I was way behind, but it could be explained away.

As I was outside cleaning the window some Europeans came in and were looking around. I tried to help them as best as I could and to my delight we got along quite nicely despite the language problem, thanks to the overworked interpreter in the entourage.

They decided on a nice paperweight and a letter opener to go with it. I set about getting it all ready, and while trying to find the boxes for the items. I found the letter opener box but the paperweight box proved elusive. I didn’t want to but I had to ask Calvin if he had any idea. He didn’t, only saying it should be where I couldn’t find it.

So it was on my knees I went looking for a nonexistent box. A few minutes later Calvin emerged from the office and with an air of authority told me to ring up the item while he found the box. Only he didn’t find the box, he found a box similar to what I was looking for. A different paperweight would now be without a box.

I rang up the items as well as wrapping them and they thanked me before heading out the door. The sale put me in second place right behind Bradley.

Calvin mentioned that Thomas and I will spend tomorrow matching the items in the showcases to the empty boxes nearby. Calvin planned on leaving the cigar shack at 7:30, at 9:19 I left him in the office with a ‘see ya tomorrow’ and heading out the door to my life.

Have another drink drunko!

Yesterday, being the magical day that it was, the bar was set quite high. Of course anything that followed would be bound to be a disappointment. Maybe it’s a Catholic thing from my past, ‘You’re having fun today, tomorrow you will be sorry’.

Just thinking about sitting with Bill, eating some really big burgers, walking around afterwards and smoking cigars, then going to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert certainly warms my heart a day later. Today was different. The magic of course had faded somewhat.

I had an interview scheduled for today, something a friend had set up for me. I mainly went on behalf of the friend for putting herself out there (Thanks Elizabeth). I was a bit anxious as I got myself ready. All I had to go on was a nice chat on the phone this past Sunday and that went especially well. Still I tried to not have any high hopes regarding what may happen.

I took a quarter of a tab of Xanax and as I approached the building I bought a banana from a fruit vendor on the street. Wanted to be in the best of all possible moods and it turned out I was. With the Xanax/Banana combination working through my system I took the elevator to a very high floor.

Lazyteat@gmail says that 1/4 tab of Xanax is being pumped full of drugs.

Apparently “I have found pumping the body full of drugs prior to an interview usually does not work out in the favor of the applicant” so it seems that Miss Greg has gone to interviews pumped full of drugs which did not work out well at all for Miss Thing. I suppose that is why she hasn’t responded to my email asking what it was that they do for a living. Perhaps they don’t work, perhaps she’s not living.

I was astounded by the view, and I could see the Statue of Liberty, and looking over Brooklyn I could even see the ocean in the distance, as well as my neighborhood in Hoboken. I found myself thinking that I would love to work in an office like this with such stunning vistas.

After a short wait, I met with the gentlemen who were friends with Elizabeth, and we walked into a conference room. They had my resume and we ran down the jobs listed. Why did I leave there? What happened here? What do you think of our firm? The last one threw me but I think I recovered and answered with a modicum of relative intelligence.

The interview ended sooner than I expected and was told they would tell me whether or not I got the job. I felt a bit deflated and was soon on the street. Bill’s office was nearby and I gave him a call. He came down and I told him what happened, how I felt the question about the company was probably my Achilles Heel.

Bill was reassuring and suggested that I send an email, thanking them for the meeting. I told him I was already planning on doing that. Then Bill had the added idea of sending an actual Thank You card, a cherry on top as it were. I thought it was a good idea and bought a card in the bus terminal.

I walked home, feeling a bit disconsolate back in Hoboken. After all I did get a haircut and shaved my goatee for this interview, which wasn’t so bad since I did need a haircut and the goatee had a little too much grey in it.

I changed out of my suit and back into shorts and sneakers. I spoke with my brother Frank and that was good. He suggested taking a walk by the river and I explained that I had done that so often lately it is starting to mean nothing to me. Still I had filled out the Thank You card and decided to walk to the post office and drop it off.

I did take Frank’s advice and sat by the river, enjoyed a cigar and read about Zooey Deschanel in the latest New York magazine. After reading all about Zooey, I decided to head home. I made a playlist of the original songs covered in Priscilla Queen of the Desert and listened to that as I walked home. Then my phone rang.

I didn’t recognize the number but saw it was a 212 area code. I answered it and it turned out to be the guy I interviewed with. He was being truthful, telling me that I did not get the job. He explained to me why I didn’t get it, which is something I never heard before.

Basically, I was too good for the job and would have been bored in 15 minutes. I explained that I actually thrive in tedium, in fact I would love a boring job, and it’s where I do my best work. He laughed but once again said that I was basically overqualified.

Perhaps it was telling him about the jobs not on the resume, which would be the music business and People Magazine. Two jobs that people would think would be fabulous and glamorous, therefore rendering any office job to be extremely boring.

‘On the contrary’ I thought, but the gentleman’s mind was made up. He did mention that he was on an HR Council and a friend of his, also on the council might be looking for someone just like me, so he asked if it would be OK to forward my resume to the friend. I couldn’t really say no to that, now could I?

He ended the call telling me he was sorry that it didn’t work out, adding that he ‘wasn’t saying no, just saying not now’, and once again saying I was just too good for the job. I told him that I was disappointed, but I was smiling nonetheless.

So like I wrote earlier, after such a magical day yesterday, lunch with dear friends, dinner and a show with Bill, my spouse (more than a mere roommate), basically anything that followed was bound to be a disappointment, and yes I was quite disappointed today.

At the very least I have some great memories and a whole lot of good friends and family who sincerely love me, as I love them. I am a lucky guy, for some people don’t have that.