Category Archives: What’s it doing outside?

I Love The Flower Girl

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So tired. Been a long day. Close to 10 hours on my feet. Now, Bill is in Washington DC, supposed to be dead heading back to Manhattan, estimated time of arrival 6:30 tomorrow morning. I wish he were here, but he isn’t so I am enjoying a little time to myself.

Juan is around somewhere, he could be making the trek up from Trenton back t Union City. He said he might stop by if it isn’t too late. But what is too late? Now is too late. Still I would welcome him here, no matter what.

I heard from the former president of my former job this morning. He asked for the info, a copy of my resume so he could tailor a letter to mail to my prospective employers. He’s using snail mail, not email since he’s not that computer savvy. I have no idea what he is writing.

Perhaps he’s writing that I am the absolute worst and the company would be smart to change their address lest they receive contact from me again. But I doubt it. Harpy made an appearance at the cigar shop today and that was nice, it was good to see him. Not much time spent, he was off doing things and I was off standing on my feet for the first of many hours.

Marcus split the scene soon enough, leaving Bradley and myself. And lately Bradley has been pretty funny. Funny ha ha, not funny strange though he is a bit strange in a funny way as well. It certainly was a busy day, lot’s of people, the majority were men, buying cigars for a long weekend.

I remember those long weekends. And quite a number of those guys sat in the backroom, and drank and smoke the afternoon away since they were off of work early. It got so crowded that we had to turn people away from the boisterous, smoky scene.

Sean came in and worked but mainly talked on his phone, out of the view of the cameras. If we wanted him to do something, like his job, we had to ask him. Large packages came in, quite unexpectedly as well as cigars ordered earlier in the week.

I put a box on the side and called a customer who asked me to call him when the cigars he liked came in. Got his voice mail and after a few hours figured he wasn’t coming in so I put them back in stock. The time did not fly by, it was quite a long day.

Eventually I left the store, closing the register and ignoring a $0.40 discrepancy in the receipts. I was too tired to figure it out and it would have taken some time. I just wanted to go home. I’m sure that will come up in a week or two.

I made it to the bus terminal, listening to Mezzanine by Massive Attack. At the gate was Hyman Gross and we chatted while we waited and as we rode on the bus to Hoboken. He expressed doubt that Bill would make it back in time for dinner and I took exception to that, and told him so.

Until then, I had no doubt that Bill would make it and if it wasn’t for Hyman’s negative attitude I would have had 100% positivity that Bill would be there. I suppose if you make it to 80 something years old, you can be as grouchy and curmudgeonly as you’d like.

I did speak with Bill a few minutes ago, and he said he should be back here, in the NYC area on time. Hyman might have picked up on my discomfort and changed the subject to Marcel Proust, Thomas Mann and James Joyce. He recommended that I read The Dead by Joyce, it’s supposed to be quite beautiful.

So I just requested the DVD from the bibliothèque as well as Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Will I have the time to watch the DVD or read the book? Will you have the time to read this?

What are you looking at?


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I Don’t Know What to Do with My Life

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Well here it is Tuesday forme, Wednesday for you. Not much I can do about it. Not much I can do about anything. I’m in the same boat as a lot of people and as far as I can tell, we are all pretty much miserable.

At least I have Xanax to get me through the day. Others use booze, heroin, whatever may be handy.

The latest twist in the saga of working retail, is that next month, I’ll probably have to participate in Monday Night Football. Not playing it, not watching it, just having to be in the store while the game goes on.

And if there is any one sport that I don’t like, it’s football. I already plan on having a good book to read and I’ll likely be writing at the cigar shop and posting it when I get home, which should be sometime around 2:00 in the morning.

I certainly wasn’t asked, but the new schedule is out and one of those games is on my late shift. I’m not happy about but who the fuck cares? I have a job don’t I? So shut up and stop complaining.

Still I continue to look elsewhere for work, hopefully getting out before the holiday rush, but no one is hiring. No word from CVS, Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. And no word from that guy Ian who offered me a job last month.

Perhaps he’s a flake. He did say I should hear something mid- September or by the end of the month and that is rapidly approaching.

Work was the usual stupid nonsense. Redundant? Perhaps. The ride to work was more of the banal. Sat there at the bus stop as the 10:15AM rolled past me, opting for the 10:30 bis instead. It wasn’t a crowded bus, still some familiar faces got on.

No Angie Baby, but the tattooed guy from the summer walked on board. His birth date is tattooed in a digital manner and it surprisingly matched the small tea cup saucers embedded in his earlobes.

I got off the subway with about 25 minutes to spare and just sat on a bench across from the cigar shop. The Xanax had kicked in so I didn’t really care much. It was Marcus, Calvin and Don with Sean coming in after school.

Some of the regulars floated in and out of the cigar shop and stationed themselves in the back room. Since Don was on the shift, I was able to leave the shop for my lunch hour for the first time in days. It really made a difference, to be able just to go outside instead of looking at the same four walls I would be stuck with for ten hours.

I wandered over to yet another bench by the park, had a cigar and read some of the New Yorker. I miss having a camera. I have a cellphone camera, but it’s definitely not the same thing.

I left the shop, around 9:13 tonight and to my surprise it was pouring out. I never see the weather outside. Still I plugged in the second half of the Buzzcocks, A Different Kind of Tension. Mainly heard I Don’t Know What to Do with My Life, Money, Hollow Inside, and A Different Kind of Tension.

By the time I got to the bus terminal, I Believe came on and since that is a 7 minute song, I’ll round the time to 17 minutes and 15 seconds. Probably would have been shorter, but it was raining after all.

That’s about all I have to write about. Bill is sore after training with a physical trainer.