Category Archives: Shed a tear

I Wanna Be Sedated

Well here we are, Christmas Eve 2009. An early posting for me. Won’t have time later since Bill and I are expected in Hillsdale, the home of the Relatives of the Powers. Brian, Karen, Hillary & Cassie. Little Brian is away at the moment. Frank, Elaine & Corrine are expected as are Meghan and Rob.

This has been going on I guess, since my mother passed away in 1991. The house in Lodi was more like a tomb at that point and I was no longer welcome in the house where I grew up. I guess we went up to Montvale for that first haunted Christmas without Mom.

My father and I weren’t speaking to each other and I started the first of several years of putting out my hand and wishing him a Merry Christmas only to have him look the other way. One year I stopped and at both Brian and Frank’s insistence I put my hand out once again and once again I was rebuffed.

I then had to chastise both of my brothers, saying in effect, ‘how many times do I have to show that I am the better man?’ . My father came around the year before he passed in 1999. Just a handshake and a hug. No apologies were expected and none were given.

I used to go up with William when I lived in Weehawken. He was welcomed in by my family, but looking back I have to wonder if they thought William and I were an item. I know a few people mentioned they thought we were, but no we weren’t. We certainly weren’t each others type, that’s for sure.

When I started going out with Bill in 2000, Bill replaced William as my companion of choice. And he’s been welcomed with open arms, with a provision that signs of affection between Bill and myself were to be kept to a bare minimum, or better yet, invisible.

That was no problem since relatives of the Powers aren’t known for open displays of affection anyhow.

This year is a bit tighter, tightest since the 1980’s. I tried my hand at homemade presents which over 20 years later I am embarrassed by but find that the original recipients trot them out each year, not to embarrass me, but for sentimental reasons.

Earlier this year when I heard about the Bob Dylan Christmas album I thought it would be nice to get a copy for my siblings. I shopped for the best present and with the fact that all of Dylan’s royalties were going in perpetuity to Feeding America it seemed like the best gift for a tight budget.

I didn’t expect the difficulty I would go through in getting people to merely accept it and perhaps just saying thanks, rather than a lecture and the browbeating that came along with it. Annemarie & Frank have both been told what the gift was so the only one who doesn’t is Brian. Unless he reads this before I get there.

In any event what’s done is done and I’m over it. It is the Christmas spirit to forget and forgive and move on so having written that, I am gone already.

Already did whatever I had to do today, wrapped Bill’s gifts, a walk to the post office. Stopped by the Guitar Bar where I saw Jim Mastro of course, but also Lily & Ruby. Meghan was home, baking cookies and dinner. Or maybe cookies for dinner. I

t was a nice afternoon. Bill should be home soon, he worked today and then I guess we will be off to Hillsdale.

Last night I watched the Paul McCartney performance on the marquee of the Ed Sullivan Theater from July, when Macca was the guest on the Letterman show. So exciting. I really enjoyed the Fireman album so hearing it live in that situation was pretty cool. Wished I was there, but I wasn’t.

This has been my 1500th posting. Yay Me!

Cranberry Sauce.

Dracula’s Lament

Well I was all set to start writing about a half hour ago but I started playing So It Goes by Nick Lowe on guitar, then wound up playing Stereotypes by the Specials and then I went into Give A Little Bit by Supertramp and then finally found myself playing The True Wheel by Brian Eno and I was in heaven.

So many changes but so much fun to play. A welcome distraction. My callouses are coming along quite nicely and my index finger on the left hand isn’t as cramped as it had been. I haven’t been playing as much as I would have liked to but apparently not playing had served me well.

This evening from Bill: You know baby, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Me: Aw I agree baby, I feel the same way. I AM the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Last night I went down to Julio’s apartment and hung out. Like old times, we had a bottle of wine and talked. Stine and Alexander are in Denmark and Julio is flying out there on Saturday, not coming back until next year. And by next year, I mean in a couple of weeks.

It was good last night, we talked about McSwells and how he doesn’t ever want to go there again. Not even for a drink, but of course I am always game to hoist a pint or two with Rand.

We also talked about seeing Macca at both Madison Square Garden and CitiField. He felt the Garden was more intimate but the sound and sightlines at CitiField were much better.

Julio also had 2 Christmas presents for me, which was an awfully nice surprise.

One was a biography on Paul McCartney that just came out. I had read the reviews and they were quite good. It’s by Peter Ames Carlin and not a puff piece. I don’t think I’ve ever read a McCartney bio, except for the authorized one by Barry Miles, Many Years from Now.

That was good, but Paul was directly involved in it. The one that Julio gave me last night mentions how Paul has been rewriting the past to suit his needs, like saying that he basically wrote In My Life. Julio hoped I didn’t have it and I didn’t.

He also hoped I didn’t have the other book, John Lennon : The Life by Phillip Norman. I didn’t have that either but I did take it out of the library earlier this year and read it. Julio was dismayed by that but also to be on the safe side, gave me gift receipts for both books.

I did take a walk to Barnes and Noble in Hoboken this afternoon looking to exchange the Lennon book, but they had a meager selection. I could go to another Barnes and Noble in the city and exchange it there, but it’s such a lovely picture of John on the cover and not wanting to disappoint Julio, I think I will end up keeping it.

But I may go into the city and just take a look see. There is that Beatles book scheduled to be released in June 2010, You Never Give Me Your Money but I don’t think I can or should wait that long.

I came upstairs and stayed up to watch Craig Ferguson’s 1000th broadcast. I’m really enjoying his show and last night was very funny. No Craig Ferguson, he had puppets instead, interviewing the guests and also had Jason Segal and Nathan Danforth with The Broken West featuring Ferguson’s Dracula puppet singing Dracula’s Lament from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

So sweet that I posted it on Facebook. Just something really nice and Jason Segal is cute too. And now I am posting it here too…