Category Archives: Shed a tear

I’m Gonna Lock My Heart (And Throw Away the Key)

It’s Friday! I made it through! And now I have three days off! And Annemarie’s flying in tomorrow! And I am going overboard with exclamation points! But I don’t care!

It was an decent day. My stress last night from work still haunted me enough, that when Bill was kissing me goodbye as I slept he mentioned that I would have a good day at work.

Work. The mere mention of it freaked me out. I didn’t have that good a night’s sleep last night and the last hour after Bill left was anxiety ridden. I rallied and got out of bed. Suit hanging up, more ready for the day that I was.

Shower, breakfast, coffee. Soon I was at the Washington Street bus stop. Not too hot out, it was in the 80 degree range. I had a smoke while I waited for the bus, away from a dad and his baby strapped to his chest.

He was hoping to catch the 89 bus but he didn’t wave his hand so the bus just went right on by. I figured he was waiting for a bus to take him up Washington Street and told him that another bus would soon be approaching. But it wasn’t the 89 bus so he walked away.

I was in the bus terminal in no time, and soon on the subway hurtling uptown. I had enough time to hang out but decided to be proactive and head into the shop to clear up the things I thought I neglected to do last night.

But apparently what I neglected to do was remedied easily enough, just a simple point and click. All that wasted anxiety! After that it was all easy and I bought some red grapes and shared them with Don
Some of the good customers came in today, meaning the customers I like. I also sold a pricey box of cigars and shipped them off to Connecticut. The day went well and I also picked up the latest Mojo and Uncut magazines.

Another favorite customer laid a Cuban cigar on me since I recommended he pick up You Never Give Me Your Money. He’s a Beatles fanatic as well. He too couldn’t put the book down and when he finally did he felt like taking a shower afterward.

It was awfully nice of him to give me a Cuban cigar and he asked when the last time I had a Cuban and I answered in the 1990’s. I’m sure someone, somewhere down the line gave me a Cuban stick. Probably at Right Track.

I enjoyed a strong, full bodied cigar at lunch time. My daily freebie. Raymond recommended it after I told him I wanted a cigar that would fuck me up. It didn’t really, but it was strong enough and a good smoke.

The afternoon went by rather quickly. I played a few Beatles albums, the Dark Was The Night compilation, Bob Marley & the Wailers- Kaya and Bob Dylan’s Bootleg series Vol. 8.

I turned a customer into Nick Drake enough that he ran out and bought a collection after hearing River Man.

I had no problems with closing tonight, Raymond was around to answer any questions that I might have had. It got me out of the store soon enough.

I couldn’t tell you the time it took to get from the cigar shop to the bus terminal since I played Feed the Animals by Girl Talk, the one continuous track. But I would say it was the average 16-17 minutes, me marching down the avenue like Harrison Ford chasing Joanna Cassidy in Blade Runner.

This gent was making a mandala at 3:55 at Columbus Circle.

I’m a King Bee

Here we are at the end of another day. Not such a bad day either. First off I slept really well, probably from not sleeping so well the night before and being exhausted towards the end of my shift yesterday at the cigar shop.

I decided to avoid the theater crowd on Eighth Avenue and opted to walk down Ninth Avenue which turned out to be a bit of a mistake or a misstep. Hell’s Kitchen is almost as Gay as Chelsea and I did not take into account the sidewalk cafes set atop narrow sidewalks.

Won’t be making that mistake again.

I usually walk with a purposeful gait and the strolling couples, headed for dinner slowed me down considerably. Still I made the bus I needed to make with no look of NJ suburbanite panic on my face.

I woke up the morning around 7:45 and set about doing my thing. I didn’t have to go in until 11:30 so that was nice. I needed bread so I went grocery shopping around 8:30. Nice that the store was relatively empty and I was home by 8:45.

Had some more coffee and got my suit ready to wear. Yes, I’ve been wearing a suit to work but no tie and I generally drape the suit jacket over my forearm, looking a bit dashing, feeling like Jean Paul Belmondo and showing off my braces.

I swear I’ve been loosing weight since I’ve started work and the pants aren’t as tight around the waist as they used to be. And the neck size of my shirts aren’t as snug either, so I don’t think I look like my late cousin Jackie. No between meal snacks, lot’s of water and standing around for 9 hours a day seems to do the trick. Pedro even mentioned the weight loss the other day.

The day flew by as opposed to yesterday which was crawl crawl crawl. Had a cigar for lunch today and I was going to go outside and smoke it but it was even more humid outside than it was in the humidor. And it rained for about 3 minutes.

I decided to come inside and sit in the backroom with the cigar smoking men. It was a full house, all of them watching the World Cup and kvetching. Some closet cases too from what I gathered. I’m out at work once again, everyone seems cool about it.

But there’s a certain customer who my co-workers think is gay and deep in the closet despite being an opera singer. He doesn’t ping on my gaydar but I probably ping on his and he might resent my being out or perhaps fears my being out will out him.

Sometimes during the day a customer will leave and Sean or Raymond or Don Birch will ask if I think that person is gay. One guy left the store and they asked and I said ‘Flame on!’ and called him Johnny Storm.

It was pretty much a good day. Calvin headed out at 7:30 and mentioned that he saw I was scheduled to come in at 9:30 tomorrow morning. He asked if I would rather come in 11:30. I said yes. Closing the store is one thing and coming in to open the next day can be so difficult.

We received our schedules for July and the majority of the days are the late shift. I’m fine with that. Raymond asked if I would miss hanging out with my friends, and I said no, since I really didn’t hang out with my friends much in the past year or so. An occasional evening here and there, but overall I usually just hang out at home.

So I guess it’s getting better all the time.

16.8 minutes from the cigar shop to the bus terminal tonight.