Category Archives: Mood Mambo

Ventilator Blues

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Well I am looking forward to work tomorrow, it will be something to do. Though I will be dreading and perhaps lying when asked how my birthday weekend was. The past two days have been quite dull and the highpoint of the day so far has been a walk to the Hoboken post office.

It was not supposed to be the highpoint of the day. The highpoint of the day was to be me going into the city to my office to drop off a few pounds of coffee that I bought this morning.

Yeah it’s been a rather pathetic weekend. It’s close to 90 degrees out right now and it’s muggy as all hell. I had had enough of being cooped up inside today and decided to head into the city. The sun was beaming on the side of the street where the buses into the city ride so I was opposite, walking down in the shade, keeping an eye out for the buses.

The bus showed up when I was between stops and the bus drivers do not pick up people that are not at the bus stop so I was screwed. I found myself walking around Hoboken carrying three pounds of coffee and whining to my sister on the phone about what a pathetic weekend this has turned out to be.

I’m just so annoyed at myself that I postponed drinks with Rand and Lisa. They didn’t give me a set time and even though I have nothing but time on my hands my mood had turned considerably rotten and anti-social.

I thought it would be better if I just went back to my messy apartment and sat in front of the computer since my life wasn’t pathetic enough. Bill was upstate yesterday then at his mother’s last night. Juan said he was going to stop by after seeing his family but he didn’t. I’m just a lonely guy it seems.

Once again I find myself depending on others to get me through, to show me a good time. And then when there is an offer I bail. Now I’m hungry and cranky. I bought a half pint of heavy cream and I will more than likely make some more sub-par pesto with pasta and chicken. This time ignoring Annemarie and Harpy’s advice since heeding their advice yesterday left me wholly dissatisfied.

Annemarie had the right idea on her birthday weekend. She went away on a yoga retreat. My problem is, I don’t do yoga. She suggested following one of my interests, but what are my interests? When pressed for an answer I come up blank.

Music? That’s about my main interest, but how could I pursue that? I have a ticket for My Bloody Valentine on September 22, but right now I’m thinking about selling it. I don’t want to go by myself and I could use the money and I did see them back in 1991 at Studio 54. I think those are three pretty good reasons not to go.

Another interest of mine would be the movies. But I don’t like going to the movies alone. There are plenty of movies that I want to see too. Yeah I’m in a situation of my own doing. I could call people up but when I do they have other plans or simply can’t make it so I end up not even asking and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

I’m annoyed with myself, with my computer, with just about everything that crosses my path. It’s just as well that I sit here next to the open window sweating in a warm breeze.

Oh right, I have a dental appointment tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to. Nothing major, just some x-rays and periodontal charts that need to be done again and then sent back to the insurance company so they could deny my benefits for the third time.

Last night I watched The Brave One starring Jodie Foster and Terrance Howard. Oh it sucked. Easily forgettable. Another DVD rental that when it ended I couldn’t help but yell BOO. Bill is in it for about 2 seconds, in the building that I worked in when I worked for Golden Staffing on 44th street.

You have to slow down the DVD considerably and zoom in order to catch Bill getting into an elevator.
All in all a crap movie.

Also caught SNL last night which was funny. Tina Fey ‘surprise guest’ as Sarah Pallid. She had the whole accent down perfectly, the long flat tones as she speaks. Lil Wayne wasn’t all that. Easily ignored.

A little while later.

I’ve eaten. Used olive oil, a dash of heavy cream, a lick of butter and two and a half tablespoons of pesto sauce, maybe three tablespoons. A definite improvement over last night and a definite positive effect on my mood. When I don’t eat I tend to turn into Joan Collins. Or my father. Or Joan Collins father.

The pasta was good, the sauce a wee bit creamy but not creamy like I would get on 57th street for lunch. A happy medium it is. Not feeling so sorry for myself. I don’t have it so bad, as bhikkhu states in the comments below.

Hoboken Sunset

Busy Bodies

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Oh what a day it’s been. And by that I mean what a long day it’s been. Hopefully you’ve seen what I had posted last night. For me it was a labor of love, and hearing Bill sing the national anthem a few times today made me realize how much I love him.

Sure he drives me crazy like no one else, but when he’s not around I miss him a lot. I guess that’s what love is, in case you wanted to know what love is and you wanted me to tell you. Slept really well last night, and woke up reluctantly. Bill still asleep beside me.

Nope, he wasn’t getting up first. That left it to me, to make my own coffee. By the time I was ready to go Bill was stirring. Got to the office, did the usual bullshit. Now there are 4 people I work with in my company.

Though I’ve written that I would stay until the end if something came up I would be a fool to let it pass me by. And Tom Chin is really making it easy to think about leaving. Today’s foible from Tom Chin was him asking me if I had made a photocopy of a check from June 30. I told him I wasn’t sure.

He was upset with that answer. He poured through the files, I checked my email regarding the check and sure enough on June 27 I sent him an email asking him if he wanted me to deposit it to which he responded that he would do it himself the following Monday.

So it was on him to make a copy of the check as well as the deposit himself. Yes, Tom Chin is a fucking idiot who will turn 60 at the end of the month if he’s lucky. As the afternoon passed I was getting more and more tired.

I was supposed to meet Lois this evening, for a walk around Hoboken but now that I am home, home is where I want to stay. At this moment I feel like I could go right to sleep. Bill and I were supposed to go to a Mets game tonight, but I found out that he didn’t get the tickets after all which was fine by me.

I spent a good part of the afternoon bubble wrapping various artworks that were the property of the latest partner in my firm to be shown the door. It’s a glass door and you can see right through it. The city, or at least midtown is overrun by tourists and fashionistas.

Big fashion shows going on around town, way too thin girls on too high stilettos trying to walk on sidewalks. A good bet could be placed that one of them will take a spill. I have no need to see this so I keep walking.

Right now on the news is the news about Obama talking about McCrazy, saying ‘if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.’ The republicunts are up in arms, saying that Obama called Sarah Pallid a pig.

No, he didn’t called her a pig, but it is refreshing to know that when you say ‘pig’ the republicunts immediately think of Sarah Pallid.

Can’t believe it is only Wednesday but then again this is the first full week of work in a couple of weeks. I was talking to Trudy, a very nice woman who works for a company that sublets space from my company.

September 11 came up in the conversation and I started to tear up when I was telling her about calling my brothers and sister, leaving messages telling them I loved them, while unsure whether or not I would be able to get out of the city. Tears took me by surprise, but then again tomorrow is the anniversary of that horrible day.

Here’s some pics from last night from the dressing room.