Category Archives: moldies but moodies

I Almost Had A Weakness

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Here is a recap of sorts. Had off yesterday, Sunday. Had a dream before waking up, where I was in Lodi, in the house that I grew up in, or more likely in the backyard with the family dog, Bojo. Bojo was not really himself.

Looked like the beagle terrier mutt that he was but he was happy and without of of the neuroses that the actual Bojo had. He was pleasant to be around, like a dog you see on TV. That’s how I woke up.

Yesterday was the day off. Laundry done and not much else. Just farted around. I went out for a bit but it was drizzly and decided to come home after returning The Lovely Bones DVD to the bibliothèque. It was not the laugh riot that I expected.

Actually I was not expecting any laughs, I knew what was going to happen and I wasn’t much in the mood for child rape and murder. Call me old fashioned. I actually rented it since the score was by Brian Eno but most of the songs were songs that I already had.

From what I gathered, the last song in the movie was a piece from 1973 and updated for the movie, but I didn’t get that far and figured the movie would be on cable eventually. I watched Boardwalk Empire but feel I enjoy it more when Bill is watching it with me, and he wasn’t home.

He was home in time to watch Mad Men, but didn’t see the whole thing, going to bed midway through. I eventually joined him around 12:30 and tossed and turned for an hour. Couldn’t fall asleep.

Couldn’t help but think of other jobs that I had. When I go on interviews, no matter what I usually freeze at the end, when they ask me if I have any questions for them. ‘Do I look fat in this?’, turns out to be not such a good question.

Nor is asking if their gender reassignment was an easy process to go through. I did come up with some valid questions, such as, ‘How many people are in the firm?’ ‘How many people will I be supporting?’ And my favorite, ‘What’s for lunch?’

Bill was out again this morning earlier than I was. It was pouring rain outside, which made for good sleeping in weather. I bargained with myself and got 15 extra minutes. Got up listening to Ben E. King singing ‘Stand By Me’.

I took that to be a good sign as I walked to the shower after making some coffee and pouring out a bowl of cereal. When I walked back in the bedroom, the Fabs were singing All You Need is Love. Another good sign I hoped.

Soon I was out the door, happy that it wasn’t raining just then. Everything was wet. Onto the bus and out into the terminal, down the stairs and onto the subway platform where a guy was playing I Me Mine. Not your every day Beatles song you hear busking.

I gave him a buck and hopped onto the train. When I got off at my stop, it was pouring out. No place to hang around before heading in, so I went in. The usual characters, the usual paranoia.

And since it was raining I had to spend my time indoors, in the cigar shop, which wasn’t so bad after all. I had my nose buried in a book but was drawn into a conversation about the state of pop music today.

It was agreed that hip hop doesn’t have much of a shelf life.

yesterday's me

I’m Looking Through You

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Trying to write, computer keeps shutting down from being too hot. Maybe it’s what I am writing that is too hot. Maybe it’s the email attachments that are too hot. Maybe it’s Chris Murtagh. Or Mark Walden. Or Keith Moh.

Maybe it’s a lot of things. But in any event, I should write as much as I can before the computer crashes. That means you should ignore or overlook all errors, both spelling and grammatical.

I asked Bill is his Mac was working and he bought a new cable for it a few weeks ago, just never got around to hooking it up. He tried to tell me where the cable was for the Mac but it wasn’t where he said it was.

He did say he was taking half a day from work and would hook it up so I could use it tonight. Well he did come home, the mail was here and there are four boxes of Crystal Light precariously set on the edge of a table.

Plus there is a plastic supermarket bag in the middle of the floor filled with garbage which wasn’t there when I left the apartment this morning. And there is no cable hooked up to the Mac.

Right now I have a fan blowing full blast into the now uncovered computer tower on the floor. Seems to be doing the job. Plus it’s not the 90 something degree heat that was going on all day.

Today I went back to work. My Monday, your Wednesday. I didn’t want to go to work but really didn’t have much of a choice. The mantra continues. Sometimes the mantra is an albatross, sometimes it actually makes sense. Tonight it made sense.

It was just Calvin and Sean and myself tonight, after Don Birch left at 7PM. I write with what seems like the grim computer reaper standing behind me. The computer could shut down at any moment. Must continue writing.

Work was a bore.

It’s now September 1. Some kids are going back to school. Occasionally the feeling of despair that I felt when I was but a child comes into my frame of reference. How I hated school.

From day one. I think the only good time I had in school was actually 8th grade, 1976. I couldn’t wait to get out of school. The idea of college which I did hold as a possibility was dropped when in Junior year of high school when Sister Reginald told us that we were there in her class because we had to be there.

When we went to college, no one was going to make us go. It suddenly became clear. If I don’t want to do something, chances are that I won’t do it. If I don’t have to go to class, then I won’t. That would be a total waste of money.

Plus, my parents did not pay for my brothers and sister to go to college, so they weren’t about to pay for me. And they made just enough money that I wouldn’t qualify for student loans, and forget about scholarships.

I hated school, and education so much, all I could do was try to not fail ( and risk a beating by my father). I did so well in not failing that I didn’t really learn anything.

Luckily for me I knew some very intelligent people and learned all I could from them, as well as accumulating as many life experiences as I could. Like do not put a metal snap from your pajamas up your nose.

There.

I’ve written. The computer did not crash yet.