Category Archives: Love Love Love

I Do Not Hook Up

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Here I am on a Wednesday evening in the cigar shack. It has been yet another rollercoaster day. After yesterday and the box debacle Calvin made a point to have Thomas and I making sure the showcases and the stock match up. I had no problem with that, in fact where I was sitting I was the first point of contact with the customers.

That made for some very good sales. Diplomats and their entourages came in and I did excellent today. Thomas didn’t seem to happy about that but he rallied when I had gone to lunch. More number crunching for Calvin but in between crunches he too did alright sales wise. Last I night I left Calvin at around 9:20. He was planning on leaving at 7:30 but did not actually leave until 10:30.

The day started out with Calvin annoyed with me and me annoyed with Thomas. Shit does roll downhill you see. Thomas playing the role of the amiable imp was busting my chops until I told him to not fuck with me. Things didn’t improve with Calvin until we both dealt with a customer that pissed us off. It’s funny how a mutual enemy could bring people together. It reminded me of a Gang of Four song.

I had a late lunch and sat on the usual bench by the park where I sat and smoked a cigar and reread Nick Hornby’s ‘Songbook’ which my sister gave me a few years ago. I had read the New Yorker and since I was all caught up, I needed something to read and in between when I read it then and now, things have changed somewhat for me.

Perceptions and realities mainly, and if you’ve been reading this here blog, then you probably figured that one out for yourself. Last night I came home and noticed I got a letter from a dear friend. It was interesting to read an actual letter, to hold the hard copy in my hand and try to decipher what it was the old friend had written.

It was inspiring to me, resolving to write a proper letter in return. I can only hope my handwriting will be readable, though I do tend to fluctuate between cursive writing and printing words out, but that shouldn’t really matter.

Today, September 21 is an interesting day in my life. In 1999, my father passed away on September 21. The closing of a chapter as well as the start of my own life. I don’t think a person becomes a fully realized adult until both parents die. Then you start to live life for yourself.

A year later, on September 21, 2000 I met Bill. It was at a party downtown in the shadow of the twin towers, and what I reckoned to be my last visit to these parties since I never really had any fun or met any guys. But on September 21, I was determined to have a good time and I sat on the patio outside, enjoying a cigar and feeling like Scarlett O’Hara smoking a Padron, entertaining a bunch of well dressed men in suits and ties.

Through the crowd I met the eyes of a handsome man in a double breasted mustard colored man and later when inside I noticed him bopping his head to Erykah Badu. I asked him, ‘So you like Badu?’ and he replied that he did. We talked and later wound up taking the train uptown and exchanged numbers so that we could meet again. And here we are years later.

I can’t say the past 11 years have been smooth sailing, we’ve had our over under and sideways down moments but here we are, committed and still in love with each other quite deeply. I like that.

And I love Bill.

Work it girl!




I Do #2

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And it was back to the cigar shack for me today. The previous 48 hours were quite good, though of course Tuesday definitely paled in comparison to Monday. The alarm clock came to life at the usual time, I couldn’t tell you what song was playing when it went off, and that might be because I woke up before it went off and was in the shower at the time.

After making coffee and having cereal I was dressed (in the same suit that I wore to the ill fated meeting yesterday) and checking email. Nothing coming in, I contacted the people I met with yesterday and asked them to return something that was mine. They offered to scan it and send it but I insisted on the original document.

Perhaps that was the burning of a bridge but as the hours go further from the meeting I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that did me in. They had my papers, and when they asked me about my past previous to the paperwork, telling them about my work in the music business and People magazine might have put the kibosh on it since you know, working in music and publishing is so glamorous and both industries are nearly extinct.

The line that ‘I would be bored after 15 minutes’ of joining their team shows that they basically forget or did not read the CV and had glazed eyes once they heard about my music business/publishing experience. I think they were actually letting me down easy. Perhaps the brass ring was not so close to my grasp as I had originally thought, though the rejection was one of the nicer rejections I’d ever had.

The cigar shack was humming along as it usually does, three full timers on with Calvin playing the role of manager. Tonight was a dinner that had been planned about a month and a half and the tickets were not selling. The staff duly contacted the clients and not many were forthcoming with cash in hand.

Calvin pressured us to contact the clients as second time and so we did, with not much of a different result. The fact is that a lot of people don’t have the disposable income for dinner followed by cigars. That’s a concept that Calvin would rather not hear especially since most of his clients have deep pockets, but not enough of them came forwards looking for food and a smoke.

So that made Calvin a bit bitter today, saying that we were under performing. That was abjectly false but it’s his house so what he says goes. A lot of the day was everyone trying to stay out of Calvin’s way with the exception of Bradley, who owned the idea of dinner and cigars tonight. I busied myself off the floor today, taking in stock and organizing the back stock so that kept me out of the watch of Sauron’s eye.

Some other nonsense was mentioned that I heard about through a third party, some disappointment on Calvin’s behalf that Thomas and I were not attending the dinner and smoke out after work, but we are closing the store and it seems a bit hypocritical for all parties to attend such an event, especially if we were under performing in ticket sales.

It’s just that no one has the money, that’s about it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea after cultivating clients to hound them into buying tickets to an event that they were not at all interested in attending. It’s not easy being so far ahead of the curve.

Music business crippled, publishing on it’s knees, Financial world in tatters. Am I the kiss of death or what?

Despite all that silly speculation, whenever my hearts sinks, it soars when I think of Bill. He’s a good man and I told him today my life is full with him in it. He’s at rehearsal once again and probably won’t be home until later. I look forward to giving hm a great big hug and kiss, for he is my man.

For my Bill.