Category Archives: Love Love Love

I Drink

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It is Thanksgiving Day. Once again I did not sleep so well. It seems to be a pattern. Despite being awfully tired, I couldn’t really rest. Maybe it was because Bill was driving back from Buffalo and I was worried. I don’t seem to be able to get a good night’s sleep when he is not next to me in the bed.

Now he is home and taking a nap, waking up in a few minutes. Then we head out to dinner. I am ambivalent about the whole thing and would just as well be happy at home, not doing anything. But it’s not just about me of course, and I am accompanying Bill on this day.

I wish I could really relax or get into the swing of things but it’s been difficult so far. I’m sure going out with Bill will do the trick. I am thankful though for Bill, my family and my friends.

Ten years ago I was in California visiting Annemarie, Rex and Earl for the holiday. I thought it was time that someone from my family went out west to visit since the only other person to make the trip was my mother before she passed away.

It was also after September 11 and the reports were that people were afraid to fly. I decided to show my lack of fear and booked a flight. It was a wonderful visit, and my sister went out of her way to make sure that I would be able to have some turkey since Anne, Rex and Earl are all vegetarians. She really went all out and to this day I am still grateful.

The four of us even made time to catch this new movie that came out, a movie that Earl was excited to see. Some movie called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. We all enjoyed it and believe me, I am surprised that ten years later I find myself enamored with the whole series.

It was a fun visit and I hope to do it again soon enough, when I have a real job and some real money to fly out there. Focusing on that trip has helped my spirits a great deal. I have two movies from the bibliothèque, Hannah and Her Sisters and Sweeney Todd. Hopefully I will find the time to watch these movies during the time I have off.

So overall I am thankful for everything I have, once again- Bill, my family and my friends, and a roof over my head. So we’re heading out in a little while. It looks to be a sunny day, a good day to walk in the sun before heading on the train with Bill.

I am looking forward to dinner and spending some precious time with the man I love. I am fortunate and I am grateful. Thank you for your love and support, your kindness and your generosity. I certainly appreciate it all and hope I can repay your kindness somehow, someway.

You know who you are and I love you all so very much. Thank you.

2-10 I Saw Her Standing There [Live

I Do Not Hook Up

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Here I am on a Wednesday evening in the cigar shack. It has been yet another rollercoaster day. After yesterday and the box debacle Calvin made a point to have Thomas and I making sure the showcases and the stock match up. I had no problem with that, in fact where I was sitting I was the first point of contact with the customers.

That made for some very good sales. Diplomats and their entourages came in and I did excellent today. Thomas didn’t seem to happy about that but he rallied when I had gone to lunch. More number crunching for Calvin but in between crunches he too did alright sales wise. Last I night I left Calvin at around 9:20. He was planning on leaving at 7:30 but did not actually leave until 10:30.

The day started out with Calvin annoyed with me and me annoyed with Thomas. Shit does roll downhill you see. Thomas playing the role of the amiable imp was busting my chops until I told him to not fuck with me. Things didn’t improve with Calvin until we both dealt with a customer that pissed us off. It’s funny how a mutual enemy could bring people together. It reminded me of a Gang of Four song.

I had a late lunch and sat on the usual bench by the park where I sat and smoked a cigar and reread Nick Hornby’s ‘Songbook’ which my sister gave me a few years ago. I had read the New Yorker and since I was all caught up, I needed something to read and in between when I read it then and now, things have changed somewhat for me.

Perceptions and realities mainly, and if you’ve been reading this here blog, then you probably figured that one out for yourself. Last night I came home and noticed I got a letter from a dear friend. It was interesting to read an actual letter, to hold the hard copy in my hand and try to decipher what it was the old friend had written.

It was inspiring to me, resolving to write a proper letter in return. I can only hope my handwriting will be readable, though I do tend to fluctuate between cursive writing and printing words out, but that shouldn’t really matter.

Today, September 21 is an interesting day in my life. In 1999, my father passed away on September 21. The closing of a chapter as well as the start of my own life. I don’t think a person becomes a fully realized adult until both parents die. Then you start to live life for yourself.

A year later, on September 21, 2000 I met Bill. It was at a party downtown in the shadow of the twin towers, and what I reckoned to be my last visit to these parties since I never really had any fun or met any guys. But on September 21, I was determined to have a good time and I sat on the patio outside, enjoying a cigar and feeling like Scarlett O’Hara smoking a Padron, entertaining a bunch of well dressed men in suits and ties.

Through the crowd I met the eyes of a handsome man in a double breasted mustard colored man and later when inside I noticed him bopping his head to Erykah Badu. I asked him, ‘So you like Badu?’ and he replied that he did. We talked and later wound up taking the train uptown and exchanged numbers so that we could meet again. And here we are years later.

I can’t say the past 11 years have been smooth sailing, we’ve had our over under and sideways down moments but here we are, committed and still in love with each other quite deeply. I like that.

And I love Bill.

Work it girl!