Category Archives: Love Love Love

I Hate Myself For Loving You

Back at the cigar shack. Thomas is playing his tunes on his iPad. I was usurped by a customer who always asks if he could play his iPod, always all over the place from Esperanza Spaulding to some Latin jazz to Earth Wind & Fire.

The customer knows I am not too keen on playing his stuff since I do spend my own time when I am home making play lists, tailored to the tastes of the customers or the staff. Of course Zack’s tastes take preference over anyone else’s since he is the manager.

I suppose that is a holdover from DJing at Maxwells. Knowing what bands were playing, I would try to bring records in that reflected what type of music the audience would be into or where the band was coming from music wise. It worked 99% of the time, but the last time I DJ’d it really didn’t work.

A year or so ago, I DJ’d a benefit for a local musician with Parkinson’s Disease, and had fallen in love with Shakin’ All Over by the Yardbirds earlier that week so I think I might have played that one too many times. No one said anything and it wasn’t until a day or so later when I realized that I probably should not have played that particular track, more than once.

I used to do the same when I carried my tape deck on the bus with me to school, always trying to play songs that my fellow students would be into. I didn’t really play Black Sabbath, mainly a little bit of Led Zeppelin and quite a few Stones songs, mainly from Some Girls which was hot at that point. Definitely could not play any ‘Punk’ or New Wave stuff since that would have caused a whole bunch of trouble for me.

When I started working and before I had a car I would troop up Rochelle Avenue to the Garden State Plaza to buy records at Sam Goody and then cross the cloverleaf at Routes 4 & 17 to go to Alexanders to buy records for $4.99, all the time with a boom box resting in the crook of my arm. I later found out I was known to people in Rochelle Park as ‘that guy with the boom box’. So music has always been a major part of my life.

If I go to a gay bar & I do not like the music I generally don’t enjoy myself. If I hear something I like or know I really light up. But I am not really hearing it right now. Actually I am since Thomas is playing The Postal Service so that’s nice.

A little under 40 minutes to go. It certainly was a weird day here in the cigar shack. Nothing too bad but was there really a need to have Bradley, Thomas, Jerry Vale & myself on all day today? Bad planning on someones part (hey Bradley). I just want to go home and chill out.

The ibuprofen that was given to me has done the job. 2 more tablets to go. The tooth or at least the space where the tooth was seems to be feeling okay & healing nicely. a couple of 100 years ago I would have my teeth pulled & my haircut by the same guy in the same chair.

I also saw Bill this afternoon for a few minutes it was quite nice. Inspired by the photograph of the Marine coming home and giving his partner a great big kiss, I gave Bill a great big kiss outside the cigar shack.

And my friend my friend Bruce stopped by and asked me to include him in tonight’s entry so here it is. Hello Bruce.





07 Aikea-Guinea

I Hate Everything

It has been a nice day off and it was as I expected, pleasant and productive. Bill was still getting out of bed, several times during the night. I was up late watching All The President’s Men. I originally saw that with my parents at the dollar movies in 1976.

My brother Frank saw it first and told me that the movie starts off with a drunk and suicidal Robert Redford as Bob Woodward, drinking with a rifle nearby when the phone rings. The caller telling him of a break in at the Watergate Hotel. Of course that is not how the movie starts but I have to admit it was a good start.

I was a precocious 13 year old and my parents who both voted for Nixon took me to see it. I admit a lot went over my head then but I think it did inspire me to write. So last night had some memories but since the movie is over 2 hours long I couldn’t stay up to watch the whole thing, but I did save it on the DVR. Nixon emerges unscathed, right?

Bill and I had an interesting chat while he was taking a break from his bathroom break. He ran into Bobby Risotto the other day and Bobby told him about how he felt bad that I didn’t get the job that he offered me. It was nice to know and I guess hearing it from Bill was good.

Basically it was a temp to perm position and that if I left the cigar shack job for the new position, I could be dismissed at any time for any reason and that would more than likely jeopardize any unemployment benefits that I might need. I didn’t know it was temp to perm but I did know it more than likely had a probationary position.

After that chat Bill went off to bed in between pee breaks. I woke up, Bill was gone for the day- to work and more visits to the urologist and other doctors. After a couple of cups of coffee I headed off to the dry cleaners and the supermarket. When I got back home I was eating breakfast and then doing laundry.

The plan to meet up with my niece Corinne was delayed about an hour. She decided to drive to Hoboken instead of taking the train and ran into traffic on Route 3. I was waiting at the train station when I found out she was driving, and was a little upset. Still, when I saw her that was all forgotten.

We rode the Path to 14th Street and had a nice adult chat about relationships. We waited for a few minutes on the line to see the Doug Wheeler show (which closes on Saturday) before deciding to check out other galleries rather than stand on line. Hard to believe it was less crowded the week after it was written up in the New York Times than it was a few weeks later with a queue outside with each attempted visit.

We did see a few other shows which were good but not necessarily overwhelming. It was great to hang out with Corinne though. She enjoys my company and I enjoy hers. It was something different for her, for both of us really. Just walking around the city on a really nice, 60 degree afternoon and seeing the work of various artists. I explained some art works to her, telling Corinne who Keith Haring and Jean Michel Basquiat were. I think she enjoyed it.

We were back in Hoboken after a stop at Payless where I was able to finally get a pair of Airwalks. Slim choices but I bought a pair just like the sneakers I had on. I was worried for Corinne’s car since parking in Hoboken can be difficult and did not want her to get a ticket, or worse, a boot or a tow.

The car was alright though and we had a late lunch or early supper at the Malibu Diner where we enjoyed each other’s company some more before she headed back to the suburbs. We made plans to meet up again when our schedules permit. She’s a good kid and a smart and pretty woman.

after the fire










t'is Herself


Squeeze – Black Coffee In Bed