Tuesday. Last night I watched Heroes with Bill and Juan. Very good episode and ended with a true cliffhanger, Hiro time traveled back to 1600’s Japan. But as I watched it I watched it from a distance, obviously with the state that brother Frank is in, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of him. Juan made for good company and before he left, after Bill went to sleep I told him about how I was feeling about all this. I hope it wasn’t too much for him to handle, but it’s a fact of life for me. I’m sure he could deal with it and I am grateful for his support.

Bill too has been a constant presence by my side as well as Julio. Both of them have gone through strokes in regards to their parents and both sides came out fine eventually. Julio is definitely very good with doing medical research whereas to me it’s all Latin. E pluberis this, veni vidi vici that. He is a Spaniard so maybe that plays into it, the Latin that is. No he’s actually very good and supportive and definitely tries to show light where I see only darkness.

And both Bill’s father and his Aunt had mild strokes and are around today to tell their tales. So that’s reassuring. As the night progressed and we watched Law and Order, I decided to take my company’s advice and take today off. Once again, a plan that was made has been altered. Yesterday was leaving work at a certain time and meeting Bill and taking the bus which totally changed, today was spending a good part of the day at the hospital, perhaps allowing Elaine to have some time for herself, or to do whatever it was she might need to do.

I hung out with Frank and Elaine, Frank’s progress was impressive, speaking clearer and able to finish sentences somewhat. And they both looked better. Elaine got some well deserved sleep though interrupted by a car alarm. Their daughter Meghan and her fiancé Rob showed up for a little while, then they ran off to get their marriage license. Elaine and I accompanied Frank to his physical therapy where Frank complained about his calves hurting. That could’ve been because he has been in bed the past week, but the therapist was wary of possible clotting so they put an end to that and sent Frank back to his room.

Frank had some cold chicken broth and urine colored Jello and closed his eyes for a bit so Elaine and I went to the Arena Diner by Hackensack University Medical Center. We sat and talked about things, how her father is 85 and how we never expected this to happen to Frank at 55. You never can tell actually. The theory now is that some dental work that Frank had done might have created an infection that traveled to his heart, then some broke off and went to his brain. They are still monitoring his heart but as of now, there’s no need to go in and check that out.

Before we left for the diner Frank was saying something like how bad he felt for treating me badly in the past, like I noticed or cared, and that he was glad I was around to help out. My plan now is to go back on Friday since I’m taking that day off, maybe enjoy a four day weekend, maybe go to Garfield and help Elaine around the house, though she said she was going to wait and see about that, having scraped the front porch of paint to tidy up for Meghan’s wedding next month.

I spoke to my dear friend Connie about this. She found out from the grapevine. I spoke to Kathe, who spoke to Charlie who called Connie. Connie used to work in nuclear medicine so she knows a bit about strokes and other brain ailments. She mentioned that someone should tell the therapists so they might push Frank a little harder so he would be able to walk down the aisle with his daughter on her wedding day. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Here’s some pics from the past few days.

Jane Street

Well it’s been a rather strange 24 hours. Actually it’s been a weekend like that. It started out with a drizzly rainy Saturday, just hanging out doing laundry. I was looking forward to just chilling out all weekend but on Friday Bill asked me if I was interested in having Chinese food on Saturday. His friend Tom whom we had jammed with several months ago, had written a script that had a big part written for Bill in it. We were supposed to meet on Canal Street at 4:30 to have dinner with Tom and Carmen at 5:00 at a restaurant in Chinatown.

We stood outside in the cold and damp until 5:30. Tom wasn’t answering his cellphone and the reservation we had to make in person had come and gone while people were lining up on the sidewalk outside. It must be a good restaurant for Chinese food (Joe’s Shanghai on Pell Street). Even if Tom and Carmen had shown up at 5:30 there would be an hour wait for a table and since Bill and I hadn’t eaten, it really wasn’t an option. I was getting tired, and hungry and a little bit in discomfort since my back was bothering me a bit and standing in the dampness wasn’t doing much in my favor.

Bill and I started walking up the Bowery looking for Peking Duck, a restaurant Bill had eaten at years ago. From out of nowhere Bill gets a tap on his shoulder. It’s Tom. Stuck on the 6 train, left cell phone at home, blah blah blah. We found where Peking Duck used to be, it’s now a tourist trap called Dim Sum with a logo on the window that looked suspiciously like RUN DMC’s logo. It may have been done on purpose like that, probably some hip hop graphic designer sold them on the idea.

We ate a lackluster meal. For me, once the food gets cool it’s not savory anymore. How can a chicken and broccoli platter turn so foul? Halfway through the meal it did for me, foul fowl. After that Tom, Bill and I walked to the subway where Tom took his chances with the 6 train headed back uptown. Bill and I rode the N train to Times Square and came back to Hoboken to chill out. We watched Zach Braff on SNL which was very funny, though no Scrubs routines.

Sunday was beautiful at least it started out that way. I woke up and got bagels after Bill went to church. Walked around Hoboken a bit, hung out on Pier A. Nobody really around to hang out with though. I cam home and watched Little Children. After that I was all set to watch the Prestige when my brother Brian called to tell me that our brother Frank had a stroke. Fuck. I told Brian to call Annemarie with the information that he had since I am absolutely no good with that sort of news. I need to write those things down rather than going by what I heard.

As time passed from the phone call I started feeling, I started feeling apart from myself. Just watching things, going through the motions. I spoke with Annemarie later in the night about what happened. She was distressed as was I, and I was probably no good to her. I didn’t know what to say or think, I could only try to be supportive. I do wish she was in NJ rather than California and I’m sure she feels the same, especially in times like these.

I went to work today, Greg Stevens asked me how my weekend was and I told him about Frank. Greg was great and told me I could go if I needed to and take all the time I needed. I mentioned that when my parents were alive I spent so much time worrying about when they were going to die, and now they’re gone I am keeping an eye on my siblings and their families, as well as Bill and his parents. I planned to leave work at 4:00 but then decided on 3:00. At 12:45 Vivek asked me what I was still doing there, that I should go and don’t worry about running the office. I left at 1:00.

Bill was coming out to Hackensack with me, but he was getting out at 3:30 and I didn’t feel like waiting ninety minutes so I came back to Hoboken, changed my clothes and caught a train to Hackensack, Bill was taking the bus and we were meeting at the hospital. We met up and walked in, saw Elaine who looked like she needed a good night’s sleep. Frank looked that way too. He’s having difficulty speaking, finishing sentences. He’s going to need a lot of rehab. Having written that just brought it all home once again. It’s a lot of therapy we’re looking at.