Category Archives: Happy?

I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement

I’ve had better days than I had today. Maybe I’m still wiped out by the double shift yesterday at the cigar shack. I slept really well, pharmaceutically enhanced. Took a Xanax when I got home last night, some anxiety was creeping in around the edges.

Anxiety about something I had to do today. I was quite nervous. You see a customer at the store knows of my love of music and a talent for writing. He works in public relations and wanted to give me a shot at an interview and writing a short bio for an up & coming New York City singer.

It wasn’t my type of music but I felt I should give it a go. As the day approached, as the hour approached I was in the grip of dread. Even waking up this morning I just wasn’t feeling up for it, and for some reason I smacked myself in the chest a few times while I was still in bed.

I did have to go to the grocery store once I showered. Some items needed to be bought and with not enough coffee in my system, I decided to forego a walk to Washington Street and got everything I needed in the supermarket. When I got home I had a nice breakfast and watched some TV.

The appointed hour for the interview was noon today and at exactly 12:00 I made the call. I got voice mail and felt somewhat relieved, thinking that maybe the interview would not take place. Still I looked at the questions I had and studied the materials online for the artist.

About 20 minutes later, my phone rang, a different number than the one I dialed. I answered and it was the artist I was to interview. She was nice and charming and answered all of my questions. I transcribed her responses as we chatted and we both had a few laughs.

Though like I said she wasn’t the type of musician I would follow, after our 30 minute phone call I had a newfound respect for her and her music and would give it another chance. After the interview I took the information and made what I hoped would be a fun and informative one sheet bio.

As requested I sent it off to the customer who set the whole thing up and to my surprise I never heard anything again. I suppose I will see the customer tomorrow and he will either express thanks for the writing or say that he will never ask me to write anything ever again.

Either way, for me it was a hurdle that I think I cleared with no trouble at all. I just reread what I wrote and I don’t think it was that bad. It’s a fun piece geared positively to promoting an up and coming band. I do have to admit that I felt that I was channeling the spirit of Derek Taylor when I was writing it.

No lysergic involved either.

It would make for a nice career if what I wrote is accepted and if it isn’t accepted, I still think it was a pretty good piece. Send me an email and I will forward it to you. Not publishing it here since it hasn’t gotten the green light. Perhaps someday, but not today.

After that I was mainly riding the mood swings this afternoon. Not enough to eat I guess, that always sends me to the depths of despair. And though yesterday was a good day at the cigar shack, I can’t shake the feeling that the sword of Damocles hangs over my head.

Self-doubt and despondency were my shadows throughout most of the afternoon but having just eaten, I feel somewhat better.

Happy birthday Joey Ramone


I Ain’t Marching Anymore

Another rainy day, this time it is a Saturday. I slept really well last night. I took a fish oil pill/tablet early yesterday and then took another later in the day. My mood was elevated somewhat and I was feeling good.

Bill and I watched a talk show of sorts featuring Jerry Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais, Chris Rock and Louis CK. It was entertaining, and Bill certainly got a lot out of it. He went to bed soon after that and I stayed up.

The other night I stayed up and watched Frailty starring Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey and Powers Booth. I had seen it in the theater with Julio when it came out originally and I couldn’t take my eyes off it the other night. Definitely low key and engrossing.

Last night I don’t remember what I watched but wound up going to bed earlier than I usually do. I think the fish oil pills helped with my sleeping. When I woke up this morning it was all about rain. That made me want to sleep in some more but no, I had to get it together and get to work.

Bill was up and doing things on his computer. I shuffled about, making coffee, pouring cereal and stepping into the shower. Eventually Bill walked me to the bus stop where Hyman gave me a call.

Apparently he was getting into a cab and slipped and broke something. So instead of the cab driving him to the opera, it drove him to the emergency room. Bill was off today so he was going to visit Hyman in the hospital when he got a chance.

I was headed to work and killed as much time outside before heading in. Unfortunately the rain made me want to head in. Calvin was in the shop, Thomas was en route.

It’s been a slow day. I treated myself to a nice lunch at the Moon Rock diner and wandered around outside for the rest of my lunch hour since it had stopped raining. Still overcast and battleship grey skies, but no rain.

Just killing time now. It’s been an OK day so far and now it’s night time which for some is the right time, but for me it’s the time to go home. I was supposed to hang out with Julio last night but I postponed it to tonight and still despite my fondness for Julio I would rather just go home and not do anything at all.

Still if he calls I will show up. What’s a couple of beers between two old friends? Plus today is Alexander’s birthday, three years old! So maybe he would like to talk about that. I’d be cool about that.

Now Thomas and I are discussing the usage of the word ‘queer’. He uses it for describing things that he finds strange. I don’t. I hear it and think ‘derogatory word’. He said if he uses it and I’m offended, he won’t use it anymore. That’s nice to know.

No call from Julio and I am home now. Bill is coming home from visiting Hyman in the hospital, which is what I will be doing tomorrow. I am certainly quite happy, almost over the moon to have a paid holiday tomorrow.

Some good news from Harpy which was nice to hear, but it is still not my story and I won’t be intrusive but science does work, sometimes. Now I am waiting for Bill to come home from the supermarket.

And it is Sunday tomorrow, so no writing for me, unless of course there is something to write about.

a note in the hallway


a note in the vestibule