Category Archives: Happy?

I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Another hot day before the start of summer. Tomorrow I am off and the temperature expected is supposed to be around 94 degrees which is crazy. It’s been a somewhat busy day at the cigar shack.

Thomas opened up the store, Bradley was off today and probably still ill. I came in at 11:30 and was followed by a new part timer, Jerry Vale. Jerry came in a little before his appointed hour, 1:00 and immediately set about going to work.

He’s older than me by the way which makes him the oldest employee at the cigar shack. After Calvin, I’m the oldest serving employee, or rather the longest serving. He’s a nice guy, affable and of course nervous.

Nervousness when starting a new job is certainly understandable. Last year I had a near perfect meltdown when starting. My personality (or lack thereof) was so tied into what I was doing as an employee that after 11 months of unemployment I had no clue about who I was and what was expected of me.

Not that I have any clearer picture now, but I think I am closer to knowing something about myself. And that is I simply don’t like working retail. Still it’s preferable to driving a truck for US Beef, casually turning vegetables into vegans.

It’s almost summer in the city and the area where the cigar shack is has a declining population lately. The guys I work with are enjoying the scantily clad women walking by and I have to say the men walking by have been an eyeful as well.

And now I am home. It was a long-ish day, not necessarily long, but it felt that way. And getting home at the end of a long-ish wasn’t easy. Too many people, too hot, crowded buses. Really not my cup of tea.

Tired of writing, hitting that wall.

This time last year, I worked my first 11:30 to 9:30 shift. I had gotten tickets to see The Colbert Report taping but had to turn them down since I was working. When I requested the tickets I was out of work, but there I was, employed.

The night before, June 6, 2010 I saw Bill at The Theater for the New City in a play called Tiger Tiger where he played a super creepy father who molests his daughter. Really Ewww.

Bill went to the cast party and I came home and exchanged emails with a friend of a friend on Facebook who told me that I was more that my job. That’s something that I seem to always have difficulty remembering.

At the cigar shack last year, Harold the guy who I would be replacing in July was fired. The cigar shack received a letter a few weeks later after the firing while Harold was collecting unemployment benefits that Harold was working as a male escort or at the very least, showing off his muscles to be worshipped.

Calvin received the letter which directed him to Rent Boy, a website that has that type of stuff. Definitely not safe for work.

That’s it. I’m beat. Tomorrow is a day off.





Moon Hooch



I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement

I’ve had better days than I had today. Maybe I’m still wiped out by the double shift yesterday at the cigar shack. I slept really well, pharmaceutically enhanced. Took a Xanax when I got home last night, some anxiety was creeping in around the edges.

Anxiety about something I had to do today. I was quite nervous. You see a customer at the store knows of my love of music and a talent for writing. He works in public relations and wanted to give me a shot at an interview and writing a short bio for an up & coming New York City singer.

It wasn’t my type of music but I felt I should give it a go. As the day approached, as the hour approached I was in the grip of dread. Even waking up this morning I just wasn’t feeling up for it, and for some reason I smacked myself in the chest a few times while I was still in bed.

I did have to go to the grocery store once I showered. Some items needed to be bought and with not enough coffee in my system, I decided to forego a walk to Washington Street and got everything I needed in the supermarket. When I got home I had a nice breakfast and watched some TV.

The appointed hour for the interview was noon today and at exactly 12:00 I made the call. I got voice mail and felt somewhat relieved, thinking that maybe the interview would not take place. Still I looked at the questions I had and studied the materials online for the artist.

About 20 minutes later, my phone rang, a different number than the one I dialed. I answered and it was the artist I was to interview. She was nice and charming and answered all of my questions. I transcribed her responses as we chatted and we both had a few laughs.

Though like I said she wasn’t the type of musician I would follow, after our 30 minute phone call I had a newfound respect for her and her music and would give it another chance. After the interview I took the information and made what I hoped would be a fun and informative one sheet bio.

As requested I sent it off to the customer who set the whole thing up and to my surprise I never heard anything again. I suppose I will see the customer tomorrow and he will either express thanks for the writing or say that he will never ask me to write anything ever again.

Either way, for me it was a hurdle that I think I cleared with no trouble at all. I just reread what I wrote and I don’t think it was that bad. It’s a fun piece geared positively to promoting an up and coming band. I do have to admit that I felt that I was channeling the spirit of Derek Taylor when I was writing it.

No lysergic involved either.

It would make for a nice career if what I wrote is accepted and if it isn’t accepted, I still think it was a pretty good piece. Send me an email and I will forward it to you. Not publishing it here since it hasn’t gotten the green light. Perhaps someday, but not today.

After that I was mainly riding the mood swings this afternoon. Not enough to eat I guess, that always sends me to the depths of despair. And though yesterday was a good day at the cigar shack, I can’t shake the feeling that the sword of Damocles hangs over my head.

Self-doubt and despondency were my shadows throughout most of the afternoon but having just eaten, I feel somewhat better.

Happy birthday Joey Ramone