Category Archives: Happy?

I Can’t Let Go

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I tell you last night was such a nice time that today was bound to be a disappointment. And it certainly was. I left the apartment, shirt and tie, suit jacket hanging over my arm. When I got to the street I realized I did not brush my hair. Luckily, I carry a hair brush, so no biggie.

I crossed the street and saw a phone number for a store in the neighborhood that hasn’t been open for a while. I thought I would give a call to find out what was up. That’s when I realized that I did not have my phone on me.

I knew I needed my phone, just think of all those applications I filled out on line, those resumes I sent out. How are they supposed to ignore me if I don’t have my phone. So it was back up four flights of stairs, each floor up with a higher temperature. By the time I was back on the street, I was sweating like a whore in church.

That is how the day started and it was just the way things go. It’s a drag, in general and not just for myself but for millions around the world I suppose. Not much going on, I worked today with both Calvin and Thomas and both were quite hungover from a cigar event they ran last night.

Well Thomas was hungover and Calvin was still drunk from the night before. He left the event and then had about one hours sleep before he had to return to the cigar shack and deal with a fire safety inspection at 5:45 this morning. It took about a minute and it was a complete waste of time.

The landlord of this building which houses the cigar shack is a corporation run by dicks. So Calvin continued being drunk and left when possible, around 1:00. Thomas got himself together and once again did aces in sales, being hungover seems to not be a deterrent for him, whereas me, as dry as a bone, face Sisyphean struggles nearly every bleedin’ day.

Still I break my personal goal of at least one thousand but it pales in comparison to my co-workers, especially Thomas. I have been getting all of the strange customers today and also been luckily enough to not deal with customers that I don’t particularly care for. And those customers seem to be increasing in number.

Thomas is a good guy to work with, but he thinks I write about what a horror show he is to work with but that’s not true. Jerry Vale and the Bradley are probably the most difficult to work with. One seems to be afraid of Thomas and myself and the other with his mole like eyes is just a pain in the ass most of the time.

And guess who I will be working with tomorrow? Well much to my surprise it won’t be Jerry Vale. Thomas and the Bradley which isn’t half as bad as I thought it would be.

Something interesting happened the other day, don’t know whether or not it’s permanent or not, but basically, nothing turns me on. Sexually that is. I can appreciate a nice male body but what to do with it- I have no concern anymore.

And you can’t just keep them in the corner and stare at them, you have to do something. And what that is simply does not interest me at all. I do not regret it, feeling the way I do (or not feeling anything). I have been sexually active since I was a teen and probably had more sex than a lot of people. Just don’t ask me their names since I never asked for their names and if I did their mouths were full and I wasn’t able to understand them anyhow.




I Can’t Go On Without You

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A day off after working a five day shift. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t as bad as previous five day shifts. Yesterday was with Bradley and Jerry Vale and that wasn’t so bad. We made sure the store would be in tip top shape for when Calvin returns from wherever he was for the past week.

It wasn’t that busy a day but it was still somewhat hot out. Not the 104 degrees like the other day, but actually around 94 degrees which made it a little bit comfortable. Still it was too hot to go outside for lunch so I once again stayed in the cigar shack and had a cigar in the man cave.

It was day five of doing that and it certainly was not as crowded as it had been the previous days. Just me and a customer. A seven hour playlist I made the other night was on and the customer sat across from me watching a sparsely attended Mets game in Tampa Bay as I read and finished last week’s New Yorker.

The rest of the day went by rather quickly and I insisted on closing the store sending Bradley and Jerry Vale home as soon as the opportunity arose. Fifteen minutes was not going to make much of a difference anyway.

I came home, Bill was asleep after returning from Boston on the bus. His pal Fred had continued on to New Hampshire leaving Bill to take an acting class on Sunday morning. I had some really crappy pizza when I came home and settled in to watch True Blood (quite busy and intense) then Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage.

Though I hadn’t watched Entourage in a few years I figured I would catch the last season and forgot how hot James Caan’s son Steve is. It’s definitely the hair and the cocky attitude. And the tight bod. I watched a documentary on John Lennon in New York City which I had seen before.

It was a hot summer night and nothing was on really anyhow. 20 years ago I would have been living in Lodi with my father, watching probably ‘I, Claudius’ on PBS and drinking while my father slept. And that scene was not going to last much longer. A few months later I had changed my address to Weehawken. A definite improvement.

This morning I woke up to find Bill still in bed. I was surprised to find out he had taken the day off. It wasn’t a bad thing, just a surprise. I was anticipating on being home alone but here he was. Before I even took a shower I had to tell him not to fill the water pitcher all the way since it overflows in the fridge when he does overfill it.

And I also told him not to remove the trap when he is showering since it doesn’t make matters any better, in fact it makes it worse. We have a crappy drain in our bath tub and despite Julio using a snake and finding two other broken snakes in the drain it still takes a long time for the water to go away. He rarely showers here and usually does so at the gym in the morning.

So he’s not used to the way things run or don’t run here. Bill said he was going to have a plumber come by and fix it but since he really doesn’t use the shower as often as I do, if at all and I have no real problem with it then it’s no big deal, an annoyance at best. When I heard him say that about having a plumber visit I said ‘whatever’ to which he requested that I stop saying ’whatever’ since he doesn’t like it.

So I grunted instead.