Category Archives: Cool Cold Reality

Where it is and what it came from. The end-all, be-all, and all-for-a-dollar.

I Begged Her

It’s been quite a tumultuous day. The lie that I sent out, the fabrication on my resume finally came back to me and I had to admit it. The former president of the last job sent in a glowing letter of recommendation but stated the discrepancy in the start date.

That is what came back to me. I can’t fault the former president for not lying on my behalf, he had too much at stake and I understand that 100%. The woman at the company I interviewed with got in touch with the recruiter who had gotten back to me.

I couldn’t lie. I did ask Bill what to do and he told me what I already knew. Tell the truth. I called up the recruiter and explained that I was tired of answering questions about the 9 months I worked at McMann and Tate and decided to omit it from the resume.

It wasn’t a malicious lie but I misrepresented myself and who would hire anyone who misrepresents themselves? The recruiter did offer some hope, thinking that now that I came clean maybe that would be alright, but the company more than likely had enough of my chicanery.

A little while later, the recruiter called and left a voice mail. The job offer was rescinded. I didn’t feel any relief now that the lie was dead. I felt bad for the recruiters who no doubt were looking forward to the commission they would have gotten for placing me at the new job.

I felt really bad when I thought of Bill and the photo he sent, him beaming and so happy that I landed this gig. I felt like a heel though, like I let a lot of people down. People that believe in me, who offered words of support and congratulations on Facebook.

But ultimately I let myself down. I am now resolved not to lie anymore on the resume. Next month, in the new year, a more honest resume will go out including the time spent at McMann and Tate.

Who cares if I have to answer questions about why I left a branding consultancy in Soho? An explanation is a small price to pay.

Bill once again comes through with flying colors, so supportive and understanding and once again stating that he has my back. He also has my heart but that goes unsaid.

Perhaps there will be a better job, some Monday through Friday job that will get me out of the retail grind of the cigar shop. And at least, I still have that. Just have to get through the month and into the new year. It can be done, I’ve done it before.

With all this going on, I do feel lucky. Lucky enough to have a good man by my side, family and friends that care and are always willing to help me up when I stumble.

I wanted to be out of the cigar shop by the holiday season, but here I am at the cigar shop in the holiday season. You know what? It’s not the end of the world. I will survive. What’s done is done. The past has passed. I’ve got to keep on keepin’ on.

Thank you.

I Hate Myself for Loving You

Well Annemarie was correct once again. Community was hilarious. Very busy. And after watching 5 episodes Dead Set I think I’ve had enough zombies for the rest of the year. Last night was the last of the Dead Set episodes and it sure was intense.

I don’t think it ended well for anyone. And I don’t think I gave anything away. When you’re surrounded by increasing amounts of Zoombies and zombies the outcome is inevitable. I think it was one of the best zombie things I’ve seen.

Despite the intensity of Dead Set, I didn’t have any trouble falling asleep but I can’t say it was a restful sleep. Out of sorts somewhat throughout the day. And the day started once again with the alarm clock going off. Stephen Stills singing Love the One You’re With. Not one of my favorite songs.

I got myself out of bed and shut off the alarm clock, giving it the next 2 days off. Shower, coffee and cereal yet again. Right now Twin Peaks is on and I am distracted. After eating I sat by the computer and checked emails when Bill walked through the door.

Tired after driving back from Atlantic City, he was ready to go to sleep and I got myself ready to go to work. I headed out. Bill had the pleasure of seeing Stine & Alexander when he came home and by the time I was out the door they were nowhere to be seen.

A walk to the bus stop, and soon I was in the city. Walking up the avenue, stopping by the farmer’s market, organic cookies yet again. At the cigar shop it was Don & Sean. And it was slow. Outside it was cold, so for lunch I sat in the back room with some of the regulars and enjoyed a $38.00 cigar.

The guys around me were talking scary movies which then turned to talk about scary paranormal incidents in my life. My only contribution to the scary stories was me talking about how I felt my late cat, Zed and him stopping by one night when I was drifting off to sleep.

Really. I felt his presence as he nestled behind my knees where he used to sleep while I slept. It was a very nice feeling and also the first and only time that that happened.

After that it was still slow going. Not much going on. After Don left and night fell various people walked by in costume headed to bars and parties. Lot’s of sluts, Mariachi’s, sexy nurses, vampires and Lady Gaga’s. No zombies were seen which was a good thing I suppose.

A nice walk from the cigar shop to the bus terminal, listening to Talking Heads, Remain In Light, side one. Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On), Crosseyed and Painless and The Great Curve, all in 17 minutes, 3 seconds.

I was able to catch bits and pieces of the Rally to Restore Sanity (and/or Fear) live from Washington DC. I would have been there if I wasn’t working. Tomorrow is Halloween.

Nothing planned except for a visit to see Julio, Stine & Alexander in the morning and in the evening I’m supposed to help Hyman Gross cover his air conditioner. Baby in the morning, old man at night.

Such a Sphinx like riddle.

That's him.