Category Archives: Communication Breakdowns

Bloom in 10

Leave a reply

34° on A Monday night in Hoboken. It’s been quite an out of the ordinary couple of days. It’s March 3. Friday night had Bill, Mike, and myself watching Ted Lasso. Mike seems enamored of the show as Bill and I had been in the past.

Bill did his last minute packing thing, running around the apartment before he went to sleep for an early departure Saturday morning. Mike soon fell asleep on the couch, I turned everything on low on my computer before turning in.

Bill gave me a goodbye kiss and I went back to sleep. I regret not walking to the door to see him off. I was up an hour after that, Mike was up already. Mike had expressed a desire to shoot some photos in Jersey City and I was game.

The day before we discussed it and he had packed a bag with his wardrobe and accoutrements so I wasn’t taken by surprise. And Saturday was a nice day, the temperatures reaching 60°. We took a Lyft to Jersey City since the baggage was too unwieldy to walk over, though we agreed we would walk back.

Between Mike and myself I have a better cameraphone and I wound up taking shots of Mike in different shirts, sneakers, and even a leather harness. He has his admirers online and I provided artistic direction while I took the photos.

It was fun working underneath an overpass that had some wonderful graffiti that Mike ably posed in front of, smoking a cigar that we shared. I wound up taking a couple of hundred photos, with maybe a dozen of myself smoking the shared cigar. It was a good time.

We walked home as it had started getting chilly and windy. The walk was enjoyable. Mike just takes it all in, the view and whatever it is that I was saying, my personal history of Hoboken. He never says anything.

It was like that in December when Bill, Mike, and I went to see the Rockefeller Xmas tree. Bill giving his spiel about midtown Manhattan, me interjecting and Mike just listening to our history lesson.

So it was more of the same on Saturday with just me spilling my guts about Hoboken, how it was, and how it is now. I made pasta for the both of us and we finished watching Ted Lasso. Mike works on Sundays so he was off to bed and I too was off to sleep soon after.

Bill wasn’t around so I had Mike sleep in the bed instead of the couch. Mike was up early and off to work. On Sundays, I just stay in bed until it’s time to watch Jane Pauley and Sunday Morning on TV. It was a lonely day and I am just no good on my own.

Bill was on the road and mostly unavailable, Mike was at work and sort of unavailable. I wandered off to the supermarket to get various items. Mike was coming over again, the plan was to have him sleep over so I wouldn’t be alone. Bill agrees that this is a good idea.

We watched the Oscars on TV and texted with Bill back and forth. It was enjoyable, Mike was disappointed that Wicked didn’t win much. I was disappointed that A Complete Unknown, the Bob Dylan movie got nothing. Bill has a copy of the evening’s winner, Anora which we will watch on his return.

Today was not such a good day. Bill was fine being where he was, Mike was at work, and I was home climbing the walls. There was a drastic mistake of chatting with Mike online before I had enough coffee and it went south soon after. Nothing bad was said but nothing bad was said with me being argumentative and Mike being somewhat accusatory.

Then it turned into Mike saying he was just going to go home, the hanging out here in Hoboken had run its course. I was a bit hurt by that and told him his bags were packed and he could call a Lyft home. The phone call ended badly obviously.

I talked to Bill about it and he suggested seeing Mike and talking about it face-to-face. Mike brought it up earlier and I said no, but after Bill’s idea, I changed my mind and met Mike after work.

We met and it was good. He had a bona fide problem with his work situation so we discussed that. It went well and seemed like a remedy to our conversing on the phone earlier. We came back home and ate some Mexican food, and just talked.

I did my best with advice, knowing that I couldn’t really say much but be supportive. He needs a new job so I will help him with that as I myself look for work. I’ve set him up in the bed again, we cuddled, which he desperately needed. He soon drifted off to sleep as the Brian Eno Bloom 10 app played its notes. I am two rooms away writing on the computer as he sleeps.

Contemptuous Familiarity

Leave a reply

Another goddamned day. It’s a fucking Wednesday and I have been in a mood since I woke up. Hoboken has been under a boil water advisory for the past 24 hours and I’m sure it will be corrected eventually but not soon enough for my tastes.

It’s a hassle and not the end of the world but just another straw that has been placed on the back of a camel. It’s been quite cold. I went for a walk, leaving Bill at home and when I came back he asked how it was outside. I explained that it was a February day and the temperatures were 29° but it really felt like 21°.

In any event, I am sick and tired of winter. It’s a drag and I do not want to have anything to do with almost anyone today. And to be under a boil water advisory in the middle of winter does not help anyone. Bill and I watched the documentary Sly Stone: The Burden of Black Genius on Hulu. It’s directed by Questlove, Ahmir Thompson, to his Mom.

I loved it but I am not sure if Bill knew anything about Sly Stone, though he seemed to enjoy it. Then we watched Roy Wood Jr.’s stand-up special which was funny. Bill was off to bed after that and I called Mike and left an unacknowledged voicemail yet again.

I find that annoying with regard to Mike. I know he’s new in our lives here but some recognition is all that is asked for and never received. It’s confusing to me. Both Bill and Mike are into the magical world of Astrology, Bill being a Cancer, Mike a Gemini and me a Virgo. What does it mean, I really couldn’t say.

Most of the time I think it is bullshit but I want to interact with these believers so I play along. The Virgo sign is supposed to represent communication and in that case, I do believe it to be true. I communicate and when others do not respond in kind it all falls apart.

So the unacknowledged voicemail set a tone for most of my day. The ongoing boil water advisory is not helping. And the job search. I send out resumes and apply online for positions and I get rejections or ignored.

It doesn’t help my spirits very much and all it takes is a look back to a few months ago and I get even more upset. I did contact Daisy the other day. The food place she worked at before I got her into Bratty McGrotty had a help-wanted sign.

I sent a text on President’s Day and she eventually replied that she thought about contacting me but was scared to. That was alarming. Daisy does not seem to be like my other friends, the ones that take the good with the bad. Those are true friends. They stick around.

I know Daisy has her kid and no time for nonsense like my nonsense but to say they’re scared to drop a line seemed ridiculous and sounded like the Filipino chick that she works with. Things ended on an OK note but let’s face it, the friendship isn’t going back to whatever it was before. That may be a good thing I reckon.

Four pots of water are boiling. When will the boil water advisory end?

Things got weird. Mike who has a strict schedule at work was able to get some overtime due to some bigwigs showing up tomorrow. He was hoping to get to work early tomorrow and we suggested he come over and sleep on the couch so he can walk to work in the morning.

I called him last night and left a message. He sent texts around 2:30 AM. I thought it odd and it was kindling for the embers that started for me this morning. Plus Bill and I being together so much in the apartment where we have to boil water then let it cool so we can actually use the water, the stress levels were out of the ordinary- high.

Mike asked if I could meet him after work and at 10:30 this morning I said no. The day progressed and my mood improved. Slowly but it was going in the right direction. I was able to tell Mike that I would meet him.

Not much contact after that and I proceeded as planned. I headed out into the winter night, leaving my toasty, humid apartment at 6:15 to meet Mike at 7:15. I walked down Washington Street and called Mike. Connection made, I can hear Mike talking to a coworker. I am on the line for 35 seconds before I hang up and try again. I get the same result. Again. And Again.

Finally, we connect. Mike is annoyed and to me, seems to think that I did not know it was a busy important work week for him. He does not like the fact that I am not in a good mood though by being out on the street on a February winter night I seem to be making an awfully noble effort to be in at least, a better mood.

I am fortunate t have people in my life who recognize the mood I can be in and sometimes stand back and allow it to play out, or try to alleviate my spirits. Or both. Those people are few and far between, living their own lives as they should instead of holding my hand through a momentary crisis.

Mike might be new to someone like me and Bill. We have no ulterior motives, we just want to help him with his life. We love him and want only the best for him. He’s got a lot to learn and so do two old dogs like Bill and myself.