Category Archives: Communication Breakdowns

I Don’t Know

The day before a day off can generally go two ways. It can be fun with the light at the end of the tunnel getting larger as the hours go by, or it can be horrible with the light at the end of the tunnel getting larger as the oncoming train approaches.

Today it was the former not the latter. I suppose one reason might be because I actually had a good night’s sleep. I went to bed around midnight, not the usual 1:00 in the morning or thereabouts. So I had about 8 hours of very good sleep.

Waking up was no big deal, I was refreshed and in bad need of a shave. After the morning routine in the apartment I was headed out the door, deciding to stop by the bibliotheque to pick up Bob Mould’s autobiography. But it being Columbus Day, the bibliotheque was closed.

It didn’t matter, I walked up to the bus stop and sat and waited for my bus. Yesterday I received a text from Julio who was headed to the park with Alexander. He must have realized that I hadn’t seen the two of them since July and thought I would be able to join them, but no I was a working man. I miss Julio and Stine and of course Kal-El, Alexander. They’ve moved away. Who knew that a mere six blocks away would seem like they were living in Australia?

Yesterday wasn’t so bad in the shack, the possum was in a good mood and Jerry Vale was more like his old self and not like the old lady he has been the past few days. Today was Thomas and Zack. Zack spent most of his time in the office and when he wasn’t in his office he was on the floor filling orders for his deep pocketed clients.

Thomas was a bit under the weather, he says he has a cold but I am wary. I am thinking that he might have the flu. Time will tell I suppose. In any event I am thinking about getting a flu shot tomorrow just to be on the safe side. I am in contact with so many people and things that I am a likely candidate.

One particular germ, (no not Greg, Peter or Bobby) came into the cigar shack and headed right to the humidor. The door was still open and since I was right there I followed him in. I did my usual song and dance, asking if he was looking for anything in particular.

He said he was and that he would know it when he saw it. I got the weird vibe from him and backed off, not like I was hovering over him anyhow. He did ask about two cigars, wondering which was full body and which wasn’t. I said it was the cigar in his right hand and he seemed satisfied and walked out of the humidor.

I noted the cigar he picked out and followed him to the register. As I started to ring him up, he asked if he could say something. Of course he could and I told him so. He mentioned that he didn’t appreciate being treated like a shoplifter.

I asked him what he meant and he stated that as soon as he walked into the humidor I walked in right behind him. I told him yes, I did do that. I walked right in since the door was still open. I didn’t feel like waiting a few seconds since the door was ajar after all.

Oh he was so upset and for no reason at all really. I didn’t even think he was shoplifting. In fact I think the type of person who would think they were being treated like a shoplifter, is a shoplifter. He left and said good night and I said thanks. Strange indeed.

Glad the day is over. And a day off is in the cards for me tomorrow. I’ve got a lot of shoplifting to do!

Huh! Can’t seem to upload pictures! Oh well, use your imagination!

I Don’t Care Darius Rucker

Well I just got home and I also just got a smartphone. I don’t necessarily feel any smarter and in fact I found myself being one of ‘those people’, walking around with the device in my hand and nearly oblivious to everything.

And even writing this I am distracted by the smartphone. Too much information and not enough skill at accessing the information. Now the smartphone is connected to the computer, trying to figure out some way to connect.

In other news, it was a strange day at the cigar shack. Calvin was out, Thomas and Bradley were in. Thomas was great as usual, Bradley was a fucking bitch, as usual. Such a moody guy and he seems to thrive on being moody.

I was that way when I was a twenty something, nihilistic most of the time, but I grew out of it, with some assistance from loving friends and family. Apparently Bradley does not having loving friends or family and so we have the bitch that was in today.

It’s strange he can be really funny when he is on, and when he is off he is absolutely a horrible person to work with. I seem to recall him saying that former co-workers down south had similar difficulty working with him and here he is today, proving them right.

Thomas on the other hand is a pleasure to work with and I know I’ve said it before but he really is a good salesman. Puts just about everyone else in the shade, except for Calvin of course, who’s been doing this cigar shack retail gig for a long time.

There’s a commercial on TV lately, some guy talking to the camera saying that ‘You’re not the type of guy to work in an office. Maybe you should look into mechanics or HVAC’ or words to that effect. I usually run into the room saying ‘No, wait! I am an office guy and have no place in automotive mechanics or working in the world of HVAC!’

Unfortunately I am not the target audience for that ad, Lincoln Technical Schools or APEX or some other technical school.

Today Jimmy Seltzer came into the cigar shack, good to see him and his purchase raised my quota to second place, a couple of hundred behind Thomas and a few hundred ahead of Bradley. Jimmy is such a good guy, says I could use his house in the Hamptons anytime I’d like, even when he and his wife are not there.

Alas I don’t think I have the time or the means to get out there right now, but the offer is certainly appreciated. Jimmy Seltzer also mentioned that the entry I posted a couple of weeks ago should be expanded into a full story, perhaps even a book. He made a suggestion as to how to do it and I paid heed to his sage advice.

Now with just a few words to go, my smartphone is singing its siren song imploring me to give it attention. It’s almost like I have a Tamagotchi!






A dying bee that I flicked off of my jacket