Category Archives: Abstract Absurdist Otherness

Read it and weep! I’ve published and now, I be damned! There are some diamonds in this coal. Proceed with cautious carelessness.

I’ll Be Your Mirror

Fell asleep to the rain last night, woke up later than usual and didn’t panic. No running around ala Dagwood Bumstead. If that were so, Bill would be Blondie, and I don’t really see him fitting into those tight dresses. He’s never done drag before either.

I did once. Susan Sher popped over to Jane Street and with blood shot eyes applied make up. I think I looked rather grotesque. There were some photographs but they are lost to the ages I hope. When I grow my hair long, shoulder length, I look like a lesbian. So I wear my hair short now. Mod-like. Or so I would like to believe.

I tried to get dreadlocks in the nineties. I was in my Rasta phase, Rasta Johnny, as I was known then. I was growing my hair long and hanging out with the Dreads, so it seemed like the thing to do. I fancied myself looking like the singer from the Wolfgang Press, a handsome white dude with great cheekbones and immaculate hair.

That was going to be me. Somewhere I bought a tin of bees wax and set about applying and twisting my hair into dreads. It was summertime. I tried it for a few weeks, when I noticed I had an itchy rash all over my body. The dreads weren’t taking and I looked rather dorkish.

Being it was summer and my hair is quite thick, I felt the dreads were never going to happen. It was very hot out, and I decided to chop it all off. Mostly. I got a really tight fade. Within a day the rash disappeared. I think I was allergic to bees wax.

Tonight while walking through Hoboken I passed a woman I used to work with, Lorraine Schwartz. We worked together at Take One Video in the early 90’s. Unbeknownst to everyone, including myself, I was over indulging in various substances. I was also giving away the store to various bartenders and barflies. Of course I got caught and of course I got fired. Not my best moment.

Passing by Lorraine this evening I realized that bridge was burned a long time ago. In fifteen years or so, she’s the only one I’ve ever seen. And Hoboken is a small town. I do regret doing what I had did, and though it’s no excuse but the owner was heavily involved in his own powdered abuse. He eventually got busted for bootlegging videos, and now is a fireman in town. I hope to never cross paths with him. I remember when he was firing me, he was stroking his face with a letter opener telling me how he was going to call the cops but decided against it.

It wasn’t me best moment, but being it was 1991 and the year had taken a disastrous turn, I lost control of a lot of things. Mostly my integrity. It took me a while to get at least some of that back, thanks to good friends that I am fortunate enough to accumulate. These friends have stood by me through thick and thin. Some know me well enough that they can tell something is going on with me by the sound of my voice.

When they ask, ‘What’s up’, I usually say, ‘Nothing’. They know that if they hang in there all will be revealed in about ten minutes. Bill is starting to get that concept as well. Like I said, I am fortunate to have them in my life.

I am also fortunate with the fact that they don’t read this.

Rain

“When the rain comes, they run and hide their heads, they might as well be dead, when the rain comes, when the raaaaiiiinnn comes” That’s been the weather today. Still balmy. I’ve been quite busy. Woke up at 7 not being able to sleep anymore, lay in bed with Bill who came home last night after his stays with his cousin, Carmen in the Bronx (Hello Carmen) and his folks in Stuy Town. I’d say hello to his folks but they don’t have a computer. Bill is doing the right thing by taking a more active role in his parent’s lives. I am proud of him for doing so.

We talked quite a bit in bed and through out the apartment, even danced a bit. I sang along with Rufus Wainwright’s song, Poses at the top of my lungs, after dancing to Jamiroquai. Today I received the Rufus DVD ‘All I Want’. I was hoping to get it for the holidays, but since I didn’t, I got it for myself after checking it out on Netflix.

“Don’t steal my Merry Christmas with your Happy Holidays”. A magnetic sticker on three sides of a van, a few weeks after Jeezy Creezy’s birthday.

My sister called me up earlier and asked if I read the latest New Yorker and if I was going to the Winter Garden to the New York Guitar Festival’s Tribute to Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska. And it’s free. Perfect. Free and easy to get to. Like me.
Ba Dum Bum!

Juan is coming over and he seemed interested in it too. So that could be something cool to do. Bill and I have been discussing going out dancing one of these days, and it’s turning out that one of these days is today. A DJ friend of his is spinning at a Martin Luther King party tonight in the West Village, which could be easily accessed from The Winter Garden.

It looks interesting. Bill’s friend, LA Thomas has a website www.djlathomas.com. It looks like an evening of house. House music, which I flirted with in the late 80’s early 90’s. This purports to be Deep House, which from what Bill has played for me, sounds like something I might really get into. Anyhow if we pull it off I will do my best to have a good time.

This sounds like fun. I’ve taken Bill to various things that I’m into, and since he likes to dance I am making the effort to go dancing. Why am I nervous though? I’m going to be with my man, and Juan. Sometimes I am So Raven. I’m quite sure we’ll have a good time regardless.

Looked up the info for the NY Guitar festival, and it looked good. I was thinking that it was only mentioned in the New Yorker, but while reading the Daily News, I turned the page and saw a big article on it. So it might be crazy packed. The New Yorker said Me’Shell Ndegeocello, but the news made no mention of her. They mentioned Michelle Shocked, who while still a good singer/songwriter, isn’t in the same league as Me’Shell.
But if both women will be there, I guess Ms. Shocked gets more name recognition by the Daily News.

The Rufus Wainwright DVD is phenomenal. Seeing more than I saw when I rented it from Netflix.

To be continued…