Author Archives: johnozed

About johnozed

I'm 50+ years old, 210-ish#, 6'2", reddish blonde, blue eyes with glasses (and without) masculine, funny, relatively intelligent, enjoy the company of assorted friends and family especially sordid friends and family. I love music, reading, writing, conversing, laughing, going to films, shows, concerts and smoking cigars. And I also enjoy looking nice in a suit and tie. Looking more like Lewis Lapham than Tom Wolfe. I'm sure there is more, but we'll just have to find out when I write about it. In a lifetime relationship with partner Bill Vila.

3 easy payments of $49.99

I don’t think I have been to work on 9/11 for a few years, at least not while working in Tribeca. I generally take my birthday off which is 9/12 and the previous years working in Tribeca had 9/11 on a Monday so I took off 9/11-12. Before that, it was on the weekend.

I wasn’t prepared for the scene at the World Trade Center though I figured something was up. I did my usual avoidance of crowds on the escalators, taking me a few minutes out of my way but is enough to salvage a stress-free commute.

As I approached the exit I was asked where I was going. I replied, ‘the street’ only to be told that that exit was not accessible. I told them a sign downstairs might have helped and thanked them for doing a good job.

So I was headed to where I did not want to go but it was not crowded at all. But the street was somewhat different. Yes, I expected crowds and whatnot, and there were a few obstacles just to get 50 yards from the doors of the Oculus to Church Street.

After picking up a cup of brown water at the Dunkin Doughnuts at 250 Broadway, I was at my desk, printing out copies of PDFs that I created the night before. Schlomo added to the queue of PDFs just so he would have something to do.

One or two of the bigwigs made a comment on last night’s debate with Kamala Harris and L’orange Merde. I was surprised that they were favorable to Kamala since these people make six figures I reckon and even in Manhattan they live republican lives.

Perhaps old school republican lives I don’t think they would be maga driven but what do I know? When I am off the clock I try not to think about these people or the job. They agreed with me when I said that Kamala kicked L’orange Merde’s ass.

I was just distracted by a commercial for Gotham Set pots and pans on TV. I was thinking that I should look into that, we do cook in this apartment. It was one of those “but wait…you get this and that for 3 easy installments on $49.99! You would pay $400.00, now it’s only 3 easy payments of $49.99!”

It was a welcome distraction and I was somewhat interested in the product, but after living here for 22 years, where the hell would we put it? I mean, it’s crowded already!

Being that tomorrow is my birthday, I have off and who wants to go back in on Friday the 13th? Not me, so it’s a four day weekend which I need. More of the usual weekend frolics I guess but tomorrow being what it is, Bill will likely take control of the direction that those 24 hours will bring.

Born in 1962, I’m turning 62. Bill mentioned that a few weeks ago and it was on a post-it in the back of my mind.

4-7-8

4-7-8. That is the breathing exercise I do. I do it a few times before bed. Sitting at the edge of my bed while Bill sleeps next to me, I look at the stopwatch on my phone and inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. I think it works.

It might be wishful thinking. I read about it in the New York Times a few months ago and friends had recommended it. And though I canceled my New York Times subscription after their anti-Biden editorial (they say nothing at all about the orange idiot and its constant lying), I still keep up with the breathing exercise.

And I also do it heading to work and returning to the office as my break winds down in the afternoon. I guess it works. It calms the stressful tic I get walking back to the office. On the right side of my face, it acts up. Maybe it looks like I am having a stroke, I’ve never checked because I silently freak out as I walk and focus on counting my breathing.

They mentioned the breathing exercise once on an episode of Ted Lasso and I felt validated as Bill was watching it at the same time. He sometimes asks about it, but as far as I know, he doesn’t do it.

The job was awful again today and no amount of counted breaths made any difference. Schlomo was in as well as the Legume. My tasks were mostly done by midday and I scrambled to find other tasks to fill out the rest of the afternoon.

Some time was spent looking for people who were not in. That is always a possibility. The thing about this job and I’m not sure if I mentioned it before is, that this job was a job I actually enjoyed. Helping 9/11 victims. I’d wake up in the morning, not minding going to work.

There were a couple of times when the clock radio went off with a commercial from this job advising people to get themselves checked out. It got a laugh then, 3 years ago. Now I think I would look for a hammer to destroy the clock radio.

I am filled with dread about going in. I have the 2 strikes against me. I went through the stages of dying, applying them to my work status. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I am at the acceptance stage and I feel that if they called me in to let me go I would just say ‘Thank god this cruel charade is over’. As far as I know, they don’t know about this here blog and I ain’t gonna tell ‘em. They don’t seem to be the literate type anyhow.

I have no choice but to stay as long as they will have me. The place is now infested with millennials and everything is run to their whims. Being a twentieth-century guy leaves me on the outside looking in, which is how things have been for most of my life.