Exact
October 31st, 2025, it is a Friday, it is Halloween. Another year goes by, and I am indifferent to the festivities going on around me. Each year it gets more and more uninteresting to me. Mike definitely wanted to go to the parade in the village this year, and I think he was very disappointed when I expressed no interest whatsoever. I get out of work at 5:00, the parade doesn’t start until 8:00, and that’s a block away, and I just want to go home, and I do not want to stand around for 3 hours to look at other people march by.

The last time I went to the parade, I was actually in the parade. Bill was with the Church of Stop Shopping and part of the choir. I came from work in a suit and tie and stood around for a few hours, losing my energy and my interest. I looked like a secret service or a bodyguard to the choir, and my disdain was noticeable on my face. After a few hours, we started crawling up 6th Avenue, and I believe it was around 9th Street, but some fools came through the barricades on the side and tried to shove a carrot up my ass.

It was not pleasant and decidedly ended any interest and continuing this charade of a parade.
Before that, an early date of mine and Bill was in the 2000s, and we met around 22nd Street. I brought Julio as my wingman, and we attended the parade. And it was okay, I think Bill was disappointed that Julio was there, and at that point, 25 years ago, I had no idea how long Bill and I would be together happily years later.

Mike has definitely jumped into the leather end of things; he bought a leather jock and leather pants and leather gloves, and a leather ball cap. Fascinating, I suppose, whatever floats his boat. He does have a sense of humor, which makes me think he won’t fit in with a leatherman, just I find most of them just dreadfully boring, though I don’t really say I’ve had much interaction with them. Mike is not boring.

I did have one interaction years ago on the east side, and I didn’t last more than 5 minutes. I did not find him attractive; he was just too demanding as soon as I walked through the door, and within a moment, I was back out on the street.

Mike is supposed to come over tonight, that would be nice, and it would be okay if he does, it’s either nothing against him, but I am just so tired and don’t want to be entertaining, although lately it doesn’t take much to entertain him. Bill is on the road doing a trip and coming back tonight from Pennsylvania, which does not make sense to me, but it must make sense to him, which is why he’s doing it.

Work is appalling today, just a hangover from what happened to me yesterday with my bad joke. Hardly anyone is in today. My coworkers are not doing anything, really; it seems like I’m doing all the work.

You know it’s not bad work, it just leaves me wondering where everyone is. They are of course about 20 blocks away I am here and letting things simmer as was discussed in the meeting last Friday so I set a timer I see a request and I set a timer for 20 minutes on the 20 minutes are up and no one else has picked up the request that’s when I will do it but only after 20 minutes and it is on a timer so it is exact.

Saturday afternoon, November 1st, did not post last night. Mike came over, shot some videos, shot some photos. He has some new gear that he wanted to show off, so he took care of that. Things are good between Mike and me. He is now at the crib with Bill, helping Bill out with an audition reel for an advertisement. Mike is enthusiastic about it, and Bill appreciates the help and teaching Mike about the process.

When I was leaving the supermarket earlier and heading home I passed a young man who looked like me 35 years ago, albeit a little bit heavier and a few inches taller, but he looked so like me in a skewed manner.

Oh, the off-color joke of October 30th during the Thursday morning meeting, oh, how it did not go well

When I first started attending the meetings, I would start off with a joke, trying to be humorous, and that seemed to entertain people, and me being me, I continued.

This morning, during the meeting, I commented on the amount of Halloween candy we have at the desk and what will become of it afterwards. I made a joke that renting a van and going to schoolyards to entice children to come into the van with my candy.

I did not take into consideration that perhaps some of these people who were hearing this joke were molested at some point by a man and a man with candy or at least knew somebody who was molested by a man in the van with candy.

It seems like an outrageous joke, and yet I am compelled to apologize for it somehow.
The atmosphere in the office mirrors the weather outside. Grey, damp, cold, uncomfortable. And that seems to be the forecast for the next week or so.

Lately, each time I come into contact with Yancy, the more I dislike him. Too much contact yesterday and fleeting contact today, and he is scheduled to come to my desk next Wednesday with the guy who was hired after me to spend the day at my desk for some reason. I can’t help it feel my time might be running out. Perhaps November is not a good month for me, I never said it was.

I’ve got to keep my mind focused, keep my head down, and not say anything out of context or anything that could be taken out of context, actually. Yes, I need this job, and yes, I will do anything I can to keep this job.

The first instinct I had this morning was once again to stay home, and perhaps I should have, but the guy that they hired after me, who seems to carry all the favor in that office, called in sick today. That’s all right, I suppose.

No idea where I stand, not that I ever had any idea where I stood. It’s been raining nonstop today, and earlier it was coming down in sheets. I contacted Bill since he was home, and one time, a few years ago, it started leaking into the closet. I did not check where Bill was, and it turned out he was moving a van.

He reassured me that the windows were closed, which made sense since it’s been raining all day long and there’d be no reason to open the windows. I had to explain that I was worried about the closet leaking. Is no news good news? I don’t know.

I do know that I’m depressed, despondent, worried, anxious, and the weather is not helping this at all. It’s been slow and quiet where I am at today, and I guess it will be like that tomorrow with even fewer people. I’m just not as happy as I used to be in this position.